September 9, 2014
by melissa

Smart ladies love dumb TV, Wahlburgers recap, An American Wahlberg in London

Another Wahlburgers episode, another dumb trip, this one brings Paul to London to visit Donnie, playing there with NKTOB.

Wahlburgers 01

When New Kids first started performing, all family members were still there. The original name was Nynuk, which Alma says everyone hated (for real, it is terrible). Paul says they had black sweatshirts with Nynuk written on them and white pants.
They all thought New Kids would be famous–Alma thought everyone in Boston would know who they were, as that’s her idea of famous. Awwwww.

Wahlburgers 02

Mark says some bullshit about family, his only appearance in the episode. YEAH WE KNOW family is everything. Say hi to your mother for me.

Donnie is shirtless a lot this episode.

Donnie is shirtless a lot this episode.

Donnie and Jenny in London hotel. Donnie says going on tour in a foreign country is difficult. Alma said he would always get homesick. Jenny tells him “it’s a beyooootiful day” in an awful English accent which I am certain I will sick of by the time this episode ends. He seems to pretend to be unhappy, he misses home cooking and being with his siblings.

Wahlburgers 04
Jenny, who realizes her English accent couldn’t cheer him up (duh, it sucks), calls Paul to invite him to visit her homesick fiance. I’m shocked he didn’t hang up after her accent.

"Her accent is THE WORST." Ok I made that quote up.

“Her accent is THE WORST.” Ok I made that quote up.

“How am I going to get to London?” – Paul
“It’s cheap, get on a plane and come.” – Jenny, sensing what Paul’s REAL issue is (I’m sure the producers paid for his ticket)

Wahlburgers 07
Paul is hesitant because of his schedule, but Alma is encouraging him to visit his brother and cook for him. He’s never been to London!

I'm going to make it after all!

I’m going to make it after all!

Paul ges out of the Tube at Piccadilly. He interviews that he loved seeing Big Ben and all the historical sights.

Wahlburgers 09

Jenny picks him up in a fancy car, STILL pretending to be British. Paul, who is on the same wavelength with me always, asks her, “Are you going to be doing this the whole time?”

Wahlburgers 10

Jenny asks for some dirt “brother dirt.” Paul says, did you ever hear someone call him cheese? Jenny: Because of his body odor? Asks for pictures and Paul admits he’s answering Jenny’s questions so she’ll stop asking in her bad accent. Paul showed a pic of him as a teen, chubby, which everyone probably could find in old issues of Tiger Beat. Jenny says this is her excuse to gain 40 pounds.

It's really not that bad!

It’s really not that bad!

Paul asks her to stop with the accent because it’s going to drive him freaking crazy. Jenny then says “a dingo stole my baby” And Paul responds, clearly annoyed, “That’s AUSTRALIAN.”

Wahlburgers 13

Jenny brings Paul to Donnie’s room all sneaky like. Jenny stands outside of the bathroom and says, “Cheese! Did they call you that?” Donnie answers the door, shirtless again, and asks what did you call me.

Jenny is so pleased with herself!

Jenny is so pleased with herself!

Donnie sees Paul and hugs him and asks, what are you doing here? “You smell like home. Let’s go cuddle.”

Paul shows Donnie what he showed Jenny on his phone.

Wahlburgers 2 gif 2

Wahlburgers 2 gif 3

Donnie says he hates the food in England (but loves the people, making him off he hook to his fans). Paul says it’s “working class food,” which they grew up with. Donnie hates the funny names. “we didn’t eat stilton cheese, we ate government cheese.”

Wahlburgers 16

Calls Alma and tells her he showed Jenny the picture of Dumpy Donnie. Alma tells him to watch his back, but Paul insists Donnie is not interested in revenge. Now we know Donnie is going to try to get back at his brother.

Wahlburgers 17

In a cab, Paul tells Donnie he wants to go to a pub, a place that’s been there 300 years, sit down and have the food and experience London.

Wahlburgers 18

Wahlburgers 19

Pulling pints at the pub!

Pulling pints at the pub!

The boys arrive at Punch Tavern (named as such because the workers of the satirical magazine Punch would frequent this pub, which has been around since the 17th c. but refitted in the 1890s). Donnie is asking about blood sausage, which you can get anywhere. “They pay people on game shows to eat coagulated blood. Why would you go to a restaurant and pay to eat it?”

Wahlburgers 21

Donnie is asking pub goers, in ANOTHER terrible accent, if they eat blood sausage and spotted dick. Paul is embarrassed, as am I.

Wahlburgers 22

The guy next to him is asking if he was taking a piss aka mocking someone. Donnie offers to buy them a pint. Once they get their beer, Donnie says “Foster’s. BEER.” Paul laughs at him, knowing Donnie’s fiancee did the same thing, and replies, its not even the same country.” SERIOUSLY people they are so different. Do you watch the Real Housewives of Melbourne? I have learned so much about Australia.

Wahlburgers 24

Donnie says, I can’t order none of this, and the chef brings complimentary pigs ears, which Paul digs into, and Donnie makes shitty comments. Your brother is a chef, you know they hate that.

Cute chef!

Cute chef!

Paul is disappointed Donnie did not embrace the food. Paul is impressed with how proud the chef was with his food, while Donnie interviewed that his toad in the hole looked like “two pieces of dookie in a toilet bowl.”

Does this look like poop??

Does this look like poop??

He ate it, though! And thought it was good. Paul promises to make Donnie something that he loves while he’s here. Donnie leaves to go to the venue and has Paul pay the check.

Wahlburgers 29

Beautiful concert hall where NKOTB plays. Jordan Knight, who HAS NOT AGED, says the guest says the prayer. Paul is clearly uncomfortable, but he did a great job anyway! Look, everyone is trying new things on this trip!

Donnie is morphing into Heisenberg.

Donnie is morphing into Heisenberg.

Donnie promises to give Paul something for telling people his nickname.

Wahlburgers 35

Jenny takes Paul to the side of the stage so they can dance. It is so cute. Paul “I always get the chills when I see my brother up there doing his thing.” Impressed at what his brother’s music gives to people.

Donnie is in the crowd singing “Tonight” and Jenny is trying to get Paul to dance.

Ahhhhhh sweet revenge.

Ahhhhhh sweet revenge.

Donnie goes over to Paul and forces him to sing “lalalallaTonight” Paul says it was really uncomfortable but also a blast.

Wahlburgers 38

Backstage, Paul makes clams for his brother, which was what he always wanted to eat. He made them for NKOTB all the time, many years ago. So sweet. Not a burger!

Wahlburgers 41

Paul says he got so much out of the trip, the connection they make as family and friends.

Wahlburgers 42

Paul says “cheers” in a bad accent and Jenny says “Shhhh you can’t do it.” Paul responds, “cheeky monkeys.”

If you clicked off after that, you missed the best part of the episode:


Congrats, you crazy kids!

Congrats, you crazy kids!

All gifs via the awesome A&E tumblr. All screencaps by me.

September 8, 2014
by katie

Smart ladies love movies, the week in trailers, September 8, 2014

Movie Trailer Monday

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

Notable movies coming out tomorrow

The Drop

The question I have about The Drop is do I love Tom Hardy and puppies enough to watch this movie that looks depressing (not enough to pay for it but most likely when it is free on my TV). [This movie has two things guaranteed to make me cry: James Gandolfini and those creepy clear plastic masks. -M]

God Help the Girl, is out onDemand and for Rent

If I had known this was onDemand I would have watched it instead I’m going to watch it sometime this week as a treat for getting home before 8 (if I am ever able to get home before 8 this week :(). This looks amazing and twee just as you would expect from Belle & Sebastian singer/songwriter Stuart Murdoch. [Also this is opening at the AFI Silver Theater and if I had money I would drive to visit Katie and take her to see it this weekend! -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

Pride, September 26, 2014

There is nothing I love more than a British movie about striking miners (BRASSED OFF FTW) and this one boasts Imelda Staunton and Dominic West (with bleach blond 80s hair). [I saw this preview in the theater and everyone was so happy and joyous during it. 80s period pieces are THE FUNNEST. -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

Men, Women & Children, October 1, 2014

This movie looks a lot like the Jason Bateman movie Disconnect which dealt with the perils of social media on today’s society. I’m not totally sure that’s whats going on here but I have to give the trailer props for not giving too much away. Also I always enjoy Jennifer Garner and Rosemarie Dewitt in anything they are in. [This trailer is very soothing with its lack of dialogue. I almost fell asleep. If I can tolerate all those pop ups (read: I am old), this might be good! -M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

The Guest, September 17, 2014

As usual with all Dan Stevens post Downton Abbey movies I like to ask WAS IT WORTH DAN? WAS IT? Is this the type of role you want to play POST DOWNTON ABBEY? Because this is not the type of role I will be watching you in DAN STEVENS. [There is a zero percent chance I will ever see this. The Guest is already out in the UK and receiving mediocre reviews. One does call his character a "smarmy wacko." So there's that. And this. I will also point out that Emily Browning from God Help the Girl was in the shitty Dan Stevens movie Summer in February, which we hilariously covered here. It's all connected! -M]

September 3, 2014
by melissa

Smart ladies love cultural oddities, QT, “Hey QT”

Look, I think it’s finally time to talk about QT’s “Hey QT.”

What is it?

It’s like if the best Annie song was created by a computer’s algorithms in an attempt to be the catchiest song of all time.

There’s also a “pitched down” version if the chipmunk voice isn’t your thang:

The story behind the song is just as bizarre as the tune itself:
So what, or who, is QT? She’s a sparkling future pop sensation — albeit one who is set to warp and stretch the notion of what a pop star actually is. It’s a drink, or more precisely a brand new Energy Elixir (“where organic and synthetic meet to stimulate an uplifting club sensation”). And it’s a song, a moment — “Hey QT” — which sees these two producers pushing their sound to its very extreme and creating a future anthem in the process. -Band statement as copied from Stereogum

And it’s been BNMed on Pitchfork and written up in just about every blog.

Honestly, when music like this pops up on blogs I tend to ignore it, so the “hook” of “QT-as-energy-drink” is what got me to push play initially.  I love this song, and the other music I found while researching this post, so I think it’s rather rockist of me to turn my nose at all pop and dance music.

I have listened to it enough that I cannot argue with its innate catchiness and ability to burrow into my head. When I queue up the video at work I keep clicking repeat. I wanted to know more about the people behind the song, mostly so I could find more songs like it. I NEED MORE.

Where does it come from?

The two producers have done some very excellent work on their own.


  • Actual gender: male. Real name: Sam. From Scotland, relocated to London.
  • Wanted to make super fun but challenging bass music.
  • He is totally hilarious, which is completely obvious even after reading that QT press release, but is further confirmed with this Pitchfork feature.
  • Like “Hey QT,” Sophie’s “videos” are almost completely nonexistent–just a simple image on screen while the music plays. When Pfork asked about the images associated with his video, he said, “The photos are called “Homemade Molecular Cooking.” Music as molecular gastronomy is something I like to think about. It’s about getting to the molecular level of a particular sound—realizing what that sound actually is made of, and why it behaves a certain way when processed or cooked. Then, you use those molecules to build new forms, mixing and re-appropriating those raw materials—and of course, it should be bloody delicious.”
  • To hear more Sophie, go to his website.

A.G. Cook

  • Like Sophie, A.G. is London-based, where he works as a DJ and producer.
  • My favorite thing said about him? When he DJed “each song [gave] the effect of someone pouring a pack of Pop Rocks into my ears.”
  • Runs record label PC Music, which has about fifty songs available on Soundcloud, that are quite diverse and interesting. He says the name “alludes to how the computer is a really crucial tool, not just for making electronic music but for making amateur music that is also potentially very slick, where the difference between bedroom and professional studio production can be very ambiguous.” One writer from Vice UK said that all the artists on PC Music were hiding behind characters, and they’re part of a larger movement of music made by people fluent in internet-speak.
  • He namechecks his love of Max Martin, Cassie and a slew of other pop producers/artists in this fantastic interview.

Because the pairing is so new, I could not find much about Sophie and A.G. Cook’s work/future work together, except a QT record will be released on XL, a British label best known for Vampire Weekend and a bunch of buzzy dance/hip hop acts.

What are people saying?

One of my most favorite things to do is search Twitter and see normal people say about a particular cultural phenomenon.

Who is this music really for?

After a week and gobs of blog hype, “Hey QT” has less than 200K views on You Tube–new One Direction videos get that many in their first hour. I really hope QT–and Sophie and A.G. Cook–have longer shelf lives than “Barbie Girl,” but I also hope they can cut through the hype and have this fascinating music accepted by a wider audience.

Perhaps one of the best things I read about this wave of computer music was They’re the sort of songs that can create mass opposition: either you play it to everyone, calling it the best thing in the world until you’re politely told to fuck off or you play it to everyone, calling it the worst thing in the world until you’re politely told to fuck off. Either way – it’s unlike anything else and the internet was invented to share it. That’s exactly why I wrote this–to tell my dear dozen readers about these songs and encourage you to listen to them until you, too, feel the Pop Rocks in your ears.