May 21, 2013
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love dumb TV, WWRLD…in Hollywood?

What would Ryan Lochte do…in Hollywood? When Ryan goes to Hollywood with Gene he does a lot of photo shoots, takes a meeting with Speedo, makes and eats hotdogs at Pink’s, goes to an awards show, and meets Carmen Electra.

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Because E! is ever so classy The Wanted give Ryan Lochte his award because, The Wanted will be staring in there own E! show in June.

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Number of dumb things Ryan and/or Gene said or did this week: 12 (only 11 are listed cause I’m not brining up the photo Ryan showed of Gene, that was TOO gross.)

  • Made Devon bellyflop in freezing water. Well Devon lost a bet but still this was mean. 

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  • Is up for a Comedy Central award (?) called “How to Roll” (?), even he doesn’t know what it is so I’m not looking that shit up.
  • Gene who has never been to LA asks Ryan if the fashion is the same there as it is in Gainsville.
  • Ryan loves Carmen Elecktra and Blake Lively AKA Boobs Legsly (this is NOT surprising).
  • Gene has never heard of Pink’s hot-dog stand. Come on Gene even Devon has heard of Pink’s.

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  • Devon thinks that having a hot-dog named after you is more important than winning a gold medal –even Ryan wants to slam his head on his desk for this statement and Gene doesn’t even know why he works with these people.
  • Ryan has a “confident” meeting with Speedo instead of a “confidential” meeting with Speedo.

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  • The owners of Pink’s call his hot-dog little. Ryan wants a BIG hot-dog –you know cause of what they say about men with small hot-dogs  Of course in reality his hot-dog is 2 stretch hot-dogs (“strech” are they dumb or making fun of him?).

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  • Ryan makes one of “his” hot-dogs but has problems opening up the bun.

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  • Gene says he would name his hot-dog “Geney Weeny,” which immediately gets made fun of as it sounds like “teeny weeny” and well you know what they say about boys with small hot-dogs.

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  • A reporter asks Ryan what super power would he have besides swimming, “If I knew how to flew…”

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Number of catchphrases and/or words of wisdom from Ryan Lochte and/or Gene: 11

  • “Most important thing for the Lochterage is to have fun, live life to the fullest, it’s what we do and that’s pretty darn good.” I can’t tell anymore if I misquoted him or he really is that bad with grammar but I’m not re-watching it to find out.
  • Gene make’s them have a business meeting over lunch (Gene works hard ya’ll).

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  • Facts about Ryan Lochte by Ryan Lochte:
    1. “Because of swimming I burn tons of calories so I eat junk-food all the time.”
    2. “Can’t swim forever. What should I do next? I’m going to make me a brand.”
  • Would like to live in LA.
  • Gene works SOME MORE, I know this because he is holding his clipboard.

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  • Gene’s job is specifically to keep Ryan on track –Gene has one of the toughest jobs in America.
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This is the look Ryan gets when Gene tries to work.

  • Ryan wants to move to LA but Gene doesn’t want to leave Gainsville. Gene calls Ryan the “King of Gainsville.”
  • Ryan does not want a supermodel or Playboy Bunny he wants a “real” woman.
  • “Ryan Lochte 101, eat hot-dogs after drinking not before.”

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  • “Interviews are the most difficult part of the red-carpet.”
  • Gene (i.e. E! producers) call Carmen Electra to meet Ryan at a bar. She asks them to go dancing and they agree but E! doesn’t show us any dancing. She does give Ryan her number which makes Devon very jealous. Ryan also brings up his favorite movie What Women Want to Electra.

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Number of times I find him endearing: 4 all of them have to do with Gene.

  • Ryan’s undying love of Gene is adorable.

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  • At the photo shoot Ryan makes sure Gene gets photographed with the ladies too!

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  • Ryan can’t imagine a life in LA without BFF Gene.
  • Ryan and Gene wear matching outfits to the awards show.

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Number of times E!, and by virtue the audience, objectifies Ryan Lochte: 6, E! also LOVES to get a shot of Ryan adjusting his junk while trying to get dressed –SO CLASSY! then again I do an “ab” collage every week but I never said I was classy ;)

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Number of ladies he talks to (AKA tries to pick up): 1, Carmen Electra his Hollywood crush,  they do a Baywatch parody just to objectify him more.

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Number of dates: 0 but he does have dinner with Gene!

Number of times he talks about “fashion”: 3 AND has a “confident” meeting with Speedo

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Number of times he said “Jeah”: 6

Number of times somebody else says “Jeah”: 6, Gene says “Jeah” like 4 times in a row the first night they are in LA, he was very excited.

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This weeks trivia question is…

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“I like Donkey Kong cause he throws bananas like it’s his job!” I would argue that it is Donkey Kong’s job to throw bananas.

May 20, 2013
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap; Never Turn Back (SEASON FINALE)

Our final voice over for Season 1, I hope this does not continue into next season. Next season, guys, let’s just start with a previously on instead of the whole “soul mate” spiel.

Never Turn Back

Cat and Vincent go on a cute date to a small town festival. They get pretty sad and emo over some cotton candy about their plight. I would care more if the show hadn’t shown us that Vincent has increasingly been able to control his rage-monster self which means that they could go on normal dates. They also could start off with short dates and work up to long dates. They could experiment with the types of outings. My point, and I’ll make it more specific at the bottom of this post, is that I’m bored with this whole normal relationship shit because Cat KNEW Vincent wasn’t normal when it started and by bringing this up over and over again it’s become increasingly BORING and LAZY plotting.

After his date Vincent goes to hang out with JT who is still doing further tests on Vincent’s blood. He finds out that the pills (Vincent has only taken 2) are continuing to work on Vincent even though he stopped taking them and that if they continue to work he could be cured.

Taylor and Mohinder plot killing Vincent for his thymus whatever. And then they make out, BORING. JT however suspects that they are dirty and follows them. JT is like the bestest friend ever, next to Tess.

Vincent and Cat talk about the possibility of him being normal. Cat shows him fake IDs she got for the two of them so that once they find out that he is “cured” they can move to a small town outside of Colorado. They talk about sacrificing their friendships with JT and Tess (no mention of Heather or her dad cause they SUCK). JT is building a new life with Sarah and Tess wouldn’t have to lie to Joe every day. [This is a terrible idea. No Tess? NO SHOW. -M]

Never Turn Back

Cat’s dad calls and says they have to meet. So she leaves and goes to meet her dad while waiting on opposite sides of a street someone pushes Mr. Chandler out into the road and a car runs him down. Cat runs to his side.

At the hospital Cat gives blood in the invent her father needs it since she is a BLOOD relative. Heather comes in and is pissed that Cat thinks that this is a conspiracy and that Cat isn’t going to stay and wait. Heather is a moron –YOU’RE DAD WAS MOWED DOWN AND THE CAR KEPT GOING THAT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. Cat grabs his stuff including a tablet that was almost destroyed. Vincent shows up and offers his help but without his abilities he isn’t really a help PLUS Cat thinks Muirfield is behind this.

Vincent gets a call from JT that Mohinder and Taylor are up to know good. Poor Vincent, everyone is protecting him and he is just supposed to hang out and play videos games.

Never Turn Back

Cat goes to the station but can’t find an IT guy she does find Tess and they have a heart to heart. Tess takes Mr. Chandlers stuff and say that she will get it looked at but that Cat needs to be with her dad and sister.

Mohinder gets a call from Taylor about his place being ransacked by JT and that Vincent has no plans to die that night (it’s a terrible line-reading; Taylor and Mohinder are the worst actors ever). Mohinder tells Taylor to get the equipment replaced and that he will get Vincent to their meet. He then kidnaps Cat.

Tess has the IT guy turn the tablet on and finds an email that a man has arrived, it look ominous. We immediately see the man checking out Mohinder’s loft, I’m guessing he is Muirfield. He tells a henchman to find Mohinder now that they know he is alive and to find out who destroyed the lab and why.

Mohinder takes Cat to his fancy estate and locks her in a room while they wait for Vincent to arrive. If Vincent is smart he will call Tess and JT for help (but I have no hope that Vincent is smart).

Never Turn Back

Vincent and JT don’t call Tess (IDIOTS) but they do kidnap Tyler as a bargaining chip (SMART) but unfortunately Mohinder doesn’t love Tyler as much as Vincent loves Cat. Vincent tells JT and Tyler that he was a soldier once he can take down Mohinder without his special powers. Tyler tells Vincent that if he takes a vaccine (any vaccine) that his body will fight off the cure and he will permanently be a beast.

Cat and Mohinder have a heart to heart about his sad childhood as a rage monster. Apparently he killed his parents AND Mohinder isn’t terrible in the acting department in this seen. Cat also manages to steal a knife and Mohinder gives her the keys to her cell for her own protection because he has begun to change.

Tyler manages to escape JT and is killed by the man from Muirfield. Why did they not call Tess, she is a badass and definitely should be notified about Cat being kidnapped. Tess cause she is no dummy finds JT chained to the radiator and makes fun of him (because they are all morons). JT catches her up on the whole Mohinder/Tyler shit that’s going down and then she is all WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS and fades to black.

Never Turn Back

Back at Mohinder’s estate poor Cat is about to be attacked by a super rage monster. She manages to pry the metal covering a window and Vincent comes and gets her out. They then have to same old conversation about who wants who to be normal and blah blah blah future and oh god people who gives a shit the show is called Beauty and the Beast so Vincent is and always will be until the SERIES Finale be a beast so let’s move the fuck along cause you need to be running from the big bad rage monster NOT hanging out behind a pillar talking about your relationship. Mohinder of course catches up to them cause of all the yammering.

AND Heather finds out that her dad is not Cat’s biological dad. A blood donation in a TV show is the DNA equivalent to Chekov’s gun.

Cat runs into the estate and finds a vaccine (it was also makeshift medical facility to suppress Mohinder) and turns Vincent back into a beast. He and Mohinder fight but then Mohinder is killed by the Muirfield man who turns out to be CAT’S FATHER who also kidnaps Vincent.

On the whole I thought this was an excellent first season of a TV show. BUT I do have some thoughts about what I would like to see in season 2 to make this a good CW show into a GREAT TV show in general.

Never Turn Back

Thoughts for improvement for season 2:

  • Sometimes this show is very black & white with the rules of Vincent’s condition but then routinely change them for story purposes. Listen BATB you are better than Once Upon a Time so don’t start doing what that show does with “magic” i.e., changing the rules all the time to suit the plot; it’s lazy. Vincent’s condition changing and adapting is great, but then those are the new rules, I would appreciate it if you didn’t return to the idea that he hasn’t changed at all. Vincent is shown to be able to be around people so he and Cat can have a somewhat normal relationship and I think it would be interesting to explore what he can and cannot do with his ever adapting abilities.
  • In order for this show to exist Vincent has to be a rage-monster and Cat has to save him from himself NOT Muirfield FOREVER until the SERIES finale that’s how TV works. Because of thi,s the whole case of the week format was a good idea, as it kept the show in a procedural format so that they could use Vincent’s abilities to fight crime while searching for a cure. This also made Vincent less emo about his condition and more positive. TV shows need conflict so I am not against Muirfield entirely but I liked when Vincent helped Cat with cases and then they had to worry about his help being found out by Muirfield.
  • We need actual Muirfield bad guys not just extras playing Muirfield bad guys. It was nice when they introduced the woman who seduced Evan and the dude from Twilight because we got to put faces to the evil shadowy government group BUT we didn’t get to KNOW them we never found out why they were bad. I want to get to know Cat’s real dad and why he works for Muirfield. I want a bad guy less annoying than Mohinder. [But you won't find one as hot. -M]
  • The entire last half of this season abandoned the procedural format in favor of Muirfield, finding Vincent a cure, AND having Tess and Evan discovers that Cat knew about the vigilant all along. Tess and Evan stuff was good (even though Evan’s behavior rubbed me the wrong way) and again I understand we need conflict but the premise of this show was a procedural and in favor of Mohinder/Muirfield we would just ignore cases. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE FINGERPRINTLESS MEN???
  • Vincent, Tess and JT are all very good with a quip. Keep this show funny, it lightens the mood. Stop wasting their talent; it will only improve the show.
  • And lastly they need to be a TEAM, seriously things would work out better, would be better plotted and more interesting if our four leads worked together instead of separately. Be a TEAM; trust each other instead of making the same mistake week after week. Again, this gets boring. Joe and Muirfield are great conflict producing foils for our team while they solve cases together while hiding Vincent from Joe/Muirfield. Also it’s interesting that Tess is sleeping with Joe, while hiding Vincent, that’s GREAT CONFLICT.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Again, this show was fun and I hate to be negative, but I actually think this show has the potential to be GREAT if it calmed down and went back to basics. What are some changes that you guys want?

I have high hopes for season 2 and I’m so excited about its move to Monday. See you in the fall!

May 20, 2013
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love movie trailers, the week in trailers May 20, 2013

Movie Trailer Mondays

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere.   Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

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As always thanks tumblr for all the GIFS!

Biggest movie coming out this week

Fast & Furious 6

This is the week of The Rock and Vin Diesel’s return to driving recklessly, oh Paul Walker –remember him– stars too! Also according to this trailer they have also developed the ability to fly. [I saw on E! that Paul Walker is turning 40 this year and I suddenly felt really old. -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

About Time, November 1, 2013

Rachel McAdams keeps making time traveling movies –maybe she wants to be the next companion on Doctor Who.This movie looks great though I am biased to like movies with Bill Nighy and one of the kids from Harry Potter this time it’s Percy Weasley. [I don't know about this one, I wish Rachel McAdams' character was played by a Brit. That's the dumbest complaint ever, I know. -M]

Anchorman: The Legend Continues, December 20, 2013

Yes, this is only a teaser but I just recently re-watched Anchorman and it was just as awesome as it was the first time. [I don't think I have been this excited for a silly comedy in a LONG TIME. -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

Rapture-Palooza, June 7, 2013

I don’t know if this movie looks amazing or not BUT I do love everyone, and I mean everyone, in it! [This trailer is really funny and I can see this becoming an HBO fave. -M]

Last Vegas, November 1, 2013

Look it’s The Hangover for our mothers. This might be a possibility for Kevin Kline, Morgan Freeman and Romany Malco alone. [I have missed Kevin Kline a lot and he looks hot with a beard but why is this coming out in November and not July? It seems like a summer movie.-M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

Alyce Kills, May 24, 2013

There is no way in hell I am watching this film even if it was directed by the same person who directed Zombie Strippers! [I watched two seconds of this trailer and then turned it off. -M]

May 18, 2013
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love Eurovision 2013, LIVE

Eurovision_2013_collage

Eurovision is here if like us you are in the USA, you can watch it live on the interwebs here!

melissa, 03:01:18 PM

Getting ready to watch the greatest competition of our time!

melissa, 03:03:59 PM

We are having a tough time pulling stuff up on the computer. I hope we don’t miss anything!

melissa, 03:11:09 PM

C’mon webcast, start WORKING!!!!!!!!!

melissa, 03:13:05 PM

We are experiencing technical difficulties. STILL.

melissa, 03:14:13 PM

Prediction: I will be drunk on shandys before this ends.

katie, 03:14:34 PM

The Internet hates us!

melissa, 03:19:33 PM

Talk singing! YAY Lithuania.

katie, 03:21:59 PM

Lithuania does not know what he is saying!

melissa, 03:22:09 PM

Because of my shoes? REALLY?

melissa, 03:23:10 PM

We have set up my shitty laptop on the coffee table. Meh, it works.

melissa, 03:23:37 PM

I love Maldovas outfit and hair! This is better than I remember too.

katie, 03:23:56 PM

Interpretive dance!

katie, 03:25:46 PM

Moldova rises from the stage as her gown grows awesome band hilarious!

melissa, 03:25:49 PM

I like this brushed forward ponytail thing.

katie, 03:26:14 PM

Idol should be this fast!

melissa, 03:27:17 PM

YAY SEXIST SONG! Love you, Finland.

melissa, 03:27:59 PM

Bitch has crazy eyes. Also WTF aprons on backup singers?

katie, 03:28:48 PM

This so is so offensive it has to be ironic right?

melissa, 03:29:17 PM

I really hope this song is tongue in cheek. If not its the fucking worst.

melissa, 03:30:17 PM

Yay lesbian kiss! I LOVE THIS SONG.

katie, 03:31:05 PM

Melissa and I love Spain!

melissa, 03:31:39 PM

This song was at the bottom on the. Eurovision betting list. I don’t know why, it is awesome.

katie, 03:32:22 PM

I love the hot hipster guitarists!

melissa, 03:33:34 PM

We both want Spain’s haircut

katie, 03:35:45 PM

EYEBROWS! so much eyebrow dancing!

melissa, 03:35:58 PM

Belgium is the #1 Euro country I want to visit for their beer, chocolate, fries & waffles. All my favorite things.

katie, 03:37:13 PM

Belgium has the worst dancers!

melissa, 03:37:28 PM

He does seem like an affable young man but I wish I’d didn’t know what the dumb lyrics are.

katie, 03:39:35 PM

I don’t remember this at all! Boring ballad…blergh.

melissa, 03:39:35 PM

Even though I watched all these videos I don’t remember half of them. Bad sign.

melissa, 03:40:37 PM

Sack dress = hate from the couch.

melissa, 03:41:26 PM

Why do people continue to west these shapeless dresses? Please hire us, we’ll help you.

melissa, 03:43:42 PM

This Belarus lady is AHMAHZING

katie, 03:43:49 PM

Belarus is my current fave after Spain!

melissa, 03:46:50 PM

The guy from Malta is a doctor? RAWR.

katie, 03:47:41 PM

This song is cute Mel thinks it sounds like train I wish the Maltese singer was hotter. I’m a fan of a ukulele!

katie, 03:48:10 PM

She is changing her mind while listening…go Malta!

melissa, 03:48:12 PM

This song has the best lyrics of anything that is sung in English all night.

melissa, 03:49:00 PM

This song still sounds like Train.

katie, 03:51:30 PM

RussiaRussia is so boring.

melissa, 03:52:59 PM

Bored so I’m reading about Malta!

melissa, 03:55:32 PM

Glorious sounds an awful like last years winner Euphoria, no?

katie, 03:56:01 PM

I hate mullet dresses…bad Casacada.

melissa, 03:59:02 PM

Katie remembers what everyone looks like, it’s amazing.

melissa, 03:59:37 PM

This guy has TWO arm parties!

melissa, 04:00:21 PM

This reminds me of the Blue Jean Committee from SNL except this song is about recycling.

katie, 04:00:26 PM

The dudes from Armenia are singing a song about recycling. save the planet people.

melissa, 04:01:03 PM

The Armenian Steven Tyler? He sure loves scarves!

melissa, 04:03:36 PM

I love this! Comedy time!

katie, 04:04:50 PM

Why is this not being hosted by the entire Skarsgard family or Abba?

katie, 04:08:48 PM

The Netherlands is putting me to sleep.

melissa, 04:13:26 PM

I love him so much.

katie, 04:14:12 PM

Cesar but with a z and not an s thanks fucking autocorrect Nissan fucking amaze balls! This is so perfect! show us your falsetto!

melissa, 04:21:27 PM

Sweden is full of good musicians and yet they pick this?

katie, 04:21:28 PM

Took break during Bonnie Tyler and this dude is a douche…come on Sweden this is NOT LORENE!

katie, 04:23:16 PM

Squee my boyfriend from hungry!

melissa, 04:23:59 PM

I’m glad skinny jeans have finally hit Eurovision.

katie, 04:24:25 PM

And he sings in Hungarian!

melissa, 04:26:37 PM

I love you ByeAlex!

melissa, 04:28:24 PM

I can’t believe Denmark is favorited to win when there is ByeAlex.

melissa, 04:28:57 PM

Eurovison voters like intense ladies who sing barefoot.

katie, 04:32:14 PM

We are way into Iceland!

melissa, 04:32:57 PM

He’s so feeling it. I love Iceland dude.

melissa, 04:36:17 PM

I’m singing on top of a clear lucite box! LOVE ME!

katie, 04:37:14 PM

The box dancer is amazing its too bad this song sucks!

katie, 04:39:10 PM

The dude from Italy is so fucking dreamy!

katie, 04:39:26 PM

Greece! My faves!

katie, 04:39:49 PM

And they brought there kilts! And old dude!

melissa, 04:40:51 PM

This  song is even more amazing when performed live

katie, 04:42:21 PM

This is the best drinking song ever! Thanks Greece!

katie, 04:43:48 PM

Ukraine has its own giant!

katie, 04:47:06 PM

Italy finally he is so dreamy!

katie, 04:52:28 PM

We love Norway!

katie, 04:58:32 PM

We are wreaking the Eurovision twitter and trying to ignore Georgia. Boring!

melissa, 05:15:48 PM

I quit this & started tweeting. I can’t keep up with so much social media!

katie, 06:31:37 PM

Denmark won…we are sad for Norway, Malta, and Greece.

May 17, 2013
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love hot dudes, the fine officers of Star Fleet

The Fine Officers of Star Fleet

Hot Dude of the Week  Star Trek Into Darkness

Chris Pine, is ridiculously adorable in everything he is in even the LiLo/McFly romcom, Just My Luck. I’m SOOOOOO happy he is making better shit. [I think Chris Pine is one of the hottest actors ever. He just does it for me. And he likes indie rock and wears nice tweed suits. -M]

Zachary Quinto was the best and only thing worth watching on Heroes. Like Pine, let’s all be happy he is getting better work! [I hear he is great on American Horror Story but we don't like scary shit. -M]

Why is Karl Urban NOT a bigger star? He is good with a quip and hot as fuck come on WORLD do better! [I feel like Karl needs better representation. I have just cast him on Nashville as Juliette's new beau--a real estate mogul who faces off with Rayna's dad. BOOM! -M]

Simon Pegg makes everything he is in better. I mean if it weren’t for him I would have never seen the last two Mission Impossible movies –and they weren’t terrible; in fact, I own Ghost Protocol. [Here is where I remind you that The World's End is coming out this summer and let's all start lining up now. -M]

Again WORLD why is John Cho NOT More famous? Also why on earth NBC would you cancel Go On –not that I watched it but it seemed nice? I have so many questions for you world. [I thought Go On was the funniest new NBC show in years & I LOVED the cast. I'm still down about this. But I also think John Cho should be more famous, he can do anything. -M]

Anton Yelchin is hot but I also remember when he played Hank Azaria’s son on Huff so to me he is like a child. I submit him here for our younger readers. [I really don't know what to say about Anton, but I wrote a comment for everyone else. -M]

I am shocked that this is Benedict Cumberbatch‘s first foray into Hot Dude of the Week –I guess I was waiting for Sherlock season 3. Anywho, Mr. Cumberbatch has a great name, dreamy face and is an excellent actor. I highly recommend the HBO mini-series Parade’s End and of course Sherlock. [Don't worry, I'm sure he will be HDOTW again. Maybe he'll be the second returnee after Iain Glen. -M]

Bonus Hot Dudes, Daft Punk, Pharrell Williams, Julian Casablancas, and Panda Bear –Random Access Memories

Hot Dude of the Week Bonus Random Access Memories

Random Access Memories will be released on Tuesday; you can stream it now over at iTunes. I am ridiculously excited about Daft Punk + disco!