August 26, 2015
by katie

Smart ladies love TV, new fall shows, Fox and NBC



Scream Queens, September 22, 2015, Tuesdays at 9

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I don’t watch Ryan Murphy shows after Glee went downhill and this is from a person who went to Glee Live that such was my love for Glee.

Melissa: I don’t care WHO created this, there is NO WAY I won’t watch this crap. And it does look terrible. Niecy Nash AND Nasim Pedrad? Does Ryan Murphy read my twitter?

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I think this is another anthology series (how many does that make) so I bet it lasts the season.

Melissa: One season, and then like Murphy’s The New Normal, it will be cancelled and I will be strangely upset even though I never really liked it.

Grandfathered, September 29, 2015, Tuesdays at 8

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Dammit this looks cute. John Stamos is ridiculously charming and so is Paget Brewster.

Melissa: I have already mentioned my love of entertainment about people in the restaurant industry, but the cast is wonderfully diverse AND Paget Brewster is in it? HOLY CRAP.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: This has got to last the season right? Dads didn’t get cancelled until after it had a full season.

Melissa: Paget Brewster has starred in so many of my favorite cancelled-too-soon shows (Andy Richter Controls the Universe, The Trouble with Normal, etc.) that there is no hope for this one.

The Grinder, September 29, 2015, Tuesdays at 8:30

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I’m going to watch this but I don’t think I will love it. I feel like I am already asking to many logic questions like, how will he be able to go to court when he does not want to go to law school or take the bar exam? Can he be second chair without those things to Fred Savage? Will Rob Lowe say “literally” a lot?

Melissa: Bbbbbbut Fred Savage was in Working, which I know I made Katie watch when we lived together. I loved it so much that I thought Paget Brewster may have been in it. I am so excited for this.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: This should last as long as Grandfathered.

Melissa: At least Paget Brewster isn’t in it!


Minority Report, September 21, 2015, Monday at 9

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This is the only show I am legitimately excited about and have been since I first heard about it.  I heart Stark Sands (GEN KILL CAST 4EVS) and Meagan Good.

Melissa: Meagan Good is sooooo pretty and I like the premise, the costumes and the rest of the cast, so I will at least add it to the DVR.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Probably super high because I am super excited about this one.

Melissa: Nick Zano is the male Paget Brewster (One Big Happy, which was kind of bad; guest star on ten million other shows, like Happy Endings, and his characters were never given larger storylines). My watching it will guarantee early cancellation (Ben & Kate), continual life on the bubble (Fringe) or quick fall into mediocrity (Sleepy Hollow).

Rosewood, September 23, 2015, Wednesday at 8

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I am a sucker for a procedural, especially one with a hottie in it like Morris Chestnut. I doubt I’ll watch every episode but I bet I will at least watch the first couple.

Melissa: I think you all know by now that I am not the procedural lover in this friendship.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Backstrom got shit ratings and it lasted the whole 13 episode season and then was cancelled, I give this 13 episodes with shitty ratings.

Melissa: Once American Idol comes back, this show is toast.


Bordertown, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This made Dr. Ken look good.

Melissa: A not-at-all-subtle, kind of racist cartoon from Seth McFarlane? NO THANKS. I did like the WNBA joke.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: It will most likely last forever like The Family Guy.

Melissa: I can’t see this getting cancelled in the next three years.

The Frankenstein Code, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Part of me is like “you know you want to give this a try” and the other more rational part is like “don’t you dare DVR this piece of shit.”

Melissa: I haven’t heard of any of the people in this except noted character actor Philip Baker Hall. BLERG.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I bet this tanks quickly and without much thought.

Melissa: I hope Philip Baker Hall is put into something better.

The Guide to Surviving Life, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Did we need more shows about dudes who are in arrested development can’t we just have more episodes of Arrested Development.

Melissa: FOX what are you doing???? This makes me miss Traffic Light.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: It will probably get better ratings than New Girl and be on for the next ten years.

Melissa: Please, lord, I hope Katie is wrong.

Lucifer, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This show looks terrible and yet I find this dude charming. Let’s hope when this is cancelled he will get a better gig.

Melissa: Don’t worry, Katie, he will be passed around through ten more shows like Alex O’Loughlin until he finds his Hawaii Five-O.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Again I bet this tanks swiftly and with little fanfare.

Melissa: No one will remember this show except Alex O’Loughlin, because he is worried this guy has his audience cornered.

The X-Files, January 24, 2015

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: The best 18 seconds in both these TV posts.

Melissa: I think I am somewhere in season 2 of the original series and I am more invested in Mulder & Scully than I will be in six months in any of the other characters in this post.

Chances it will get cancelled

Nil as it’s a miniseries.



Best Time Ever With Neil Patrick Harris, September 15, 2015, Tuesdays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I don’t think I’m even going to try this. It’s not that I don’t think it will be good –I love NPH– I just don’t think I will like it.

Melissa: I did not like the Maya Rudolph variety show, so this genre is not my thing.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I think NBC has shelled out a lot of money for this so I can see them tweaking it before cancelling it. Then again if it tanks in the ratings they might cancel it to save money.

Melissa: People will totally watch this.


Blindspot, September 21, 2015, Monday at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: BLINDSPOT that’s the show with the tattooed lady AKA Sif from Thor! So this is 2015’s SCORPION. It looks trashy, fun, and like I won’t give a shit if I forget it’s on but will be super happy when I have nothing to watch and I find this gem on the DVR. This also stars Sullivan Stapleton the greatest named action hero ever —Strike Back 4EVA (I have watched so much Strike Back this weekend –RIP Strike Back)! I wonder if Sullivan’s character will get laid at least once on this show like on Strike Back? I have a feeling between this, Quantico, Limitless, and The Player (see below), I will no longer find the time to watch Scorpian which does not seem as fun as the 2015 crop of action procedurals. Also I think I may be a bigger fan of the action procedural than the crime procedural (I don’t even watch Bones anymore).

Melissa: What the fuck, Katie, is this the TV version of Memento? I did not like that movie and I definitely will not like this. Wow, I am cranky. I guess I just want more heartwarming dramas (Hart of Dixie, Ed) on TV. I am going to put all my hopes and dreams on Quantico because at least it interests me. Please don’t cancel Quantico, ABC.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I hope this lasts the season but you never know what America is going to like, I would have thought Scorpion was going to tank but here we are heading into season 2. It is on after The Voice so I bet it lasts the season.

Melissa: Will last at least 1.5 seasons, when the network cancels it because the writers don’t know what to do anymore.

Heroes Reborn, September 24, 2015

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I watched most of Heroes the first-go-round until it got so bad I just couldn’t anymore (and that says a lot seeing as I watch a lot of shit TV on purpose for pleasure). One of the things I hated most was Sendhil Ramamurthy as Mohinder, that guy is seriously the worst. I’m ignoring that Zachary Levi is on this show.

Melissa: I refuse to even watch this three-minute trailer.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I think this is a limited 13 episode series so I don’t think it matters.

Melissa: WHATEVER.

The Player, September 24, 2015, Thursdays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Dammit this stars the other dude from Strike Back (who also has an awesome name, Phillip Winchester –it’s like they were made for action), Wesley Snipes, and the woman who played Marianne in the BBC/PBS Sense and Sensibility which was fabulous. I think I’m going to have to add this to the DVR. It’s like the NBC battle of the Strike Back action stars.

Melissa: I would only watch this if it was the TV adaptation of the Robert Altman movie.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: This is on after The Blacklist so I bet it lasts the season.

Melissa: I hope it’s cancelled and NBC spends all its money licensing the songs to release Ed on DVD.

Chicago Med, November 17, 2015, Tuesdays at 10

Chicago Med is a spin-off of Chicago Fire and Chicago PD (next season Dick Wolf will introduce Chicago Parks Department and it will be headed up by a man who looks vaguely familiar named Jon Dawson and played by Nick Offerman).  It was supposed to be a midseason show but due to Melissa George’s pregnancy (she is the star of Heartbreaker –see below) it is starting in November but it doesn’t have a trailer yet (it did apparently have a backdoor pilot on one of the other Chicago shows). The only bright spot I can see is that it stars Oliver Platt, Yaya DaCosta, and S. Epatha Merkerson.


NBC has a ton of midseason shows and has the worst youtube channel so finding previews was rough (again NBC is the worst when it comes to technology).

Coach, TBA

NBC is bringing back Coach because apparently they are big fans of Craig T. Nelson (if NBC was going to bring back a show from the 90’s it should have been Evening Shade with Burt Reynolds and Elisabeth Ashley).

Crowded, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Carrie Preston is too fucking good for this family sitcom. Also I am done with “Happy.”


Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I bet this never makes it to air and Carrie Preston can be free to do something good –like a True Blood spin-off with Kristen Bauer Von Straten (Pam) and Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette) in which they use supernatural powers to solve crimes in Las Vegas.

Melissa: Miranda Cosgrove deserves better too. I would rather watch iCarly reruns than Crowded. America will agree with me.

Emerald City, TBA

Umm, I think this is about The Wizard of Oz.

The “event” series is a modern and dark reimagining of the classic tale of Oz that includes lethal warriors, competing kingdoms, and the infamous wizard as we’ve never seen him before. A headstrong 20-year-old Dorothy Gale is unwittingly sent on a journey that thrusts her into the center of an epic and bloody battle for the control of Oz. -From TVLine

Just what we need another “Event” series.

Game of Silence, TBA

I think this is a law show???

A successful Atlanta attorney’s long-lost childhood friends unexpectedly reappear after 25 years. When a dark secret they thought they had buried resurfaces, the brotherhood bands together to right the wrongs of their shared past — a journey that will push the limits of their loyalty and quench their thirst for revenge. -From TVLine

Heartbreaker, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: If I watch ANY medical show it’s the one on CBS with Marsha Gay Harden for which I have already forgotten the name. It will not be this BLATANT Grey’s ripoff.

Melissa: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????????????????????????????????

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I’m going to say because it just feels phony and like a carbon copy of Grey’s Anatomy that it will tank.

Melissa: I will head the letter-writing campaign to get it cancelled before it airs.

Hot and Bothered, TBA

I swear I saw a trailer of this when it was first announced and it was good. Basically Eva Longoria is a telenovela star and this sitcom is about the backstage shenanigans. The cast is great, you can see them here. This is a part Eva was born to play, if the writing is good this show could be fantastic.

Superstore, TBA

The return of America Ferrera and Ben Feldman to primetime and it’s a workplace comedy (MY FAVORITE) set in a big box store. I can’t fucking wait for this to premiere. I hope it is a hit and is on forever. [I would rather watch this than any of NBC’s other offerings. -M]

Truth be Told, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This show is bad. SO BAD. It is trying to hard to be edgy. It reminds me a lot of Dads.

Melissa: Wow. Thirty-year-old sexist sitcom jokes wrapped up in a nice diverse package?

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I hope this doesn’t ever see the light of day. It will probably last 10 seasons while Superstore tanks in two weeks and I cry.

Melissa: Remember how Dads effectively cancelled Enlisted? If Truth Be Told does the same to Superstore I’m moving to Canada.

You, Me and the End of the World, TBA

According to TVLine,

In this bold adrenaline-fueled new one-hour comedy drama, the news that a comet is on an unavoidable collision course with Earth sets in motion the most hilariously unexpected chain of events imaginable. Set against the backdrop of apocalyptic chaos, the story follows an eclectic group of seemingly unconnected characters around the world as their lives start to intersect in the most unexpected ways. When we say eclectic, we mean a rebellious priest, an unhinged white supremacist, a mild-mannered bank manager, a germ-phobic cyber-terrorist and an American five-star general. Some of these misfits are destined to make it to a bunker deep beneath the English suburbs of Slough and, as a result, will become the hugely unlikely (and totally unsuitable) future of mankind. Wouldn’t that be a disaster!

What’s really awesome about this is the cast: Rob Lowe, Megan Mullally, and Jenna Fischer. [Isn’t Rob Lowe in Grinder? Which will last? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. -M]

August 25, 2015
by katie

Smart ladies love TV, new fall shows, ABC, CBS, and the CW



The Muppets, September 22, 2015, Tuesdays at 8

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I love the Muppets so I will most likely DVR and either love it OR forget about it and have to delete it to make space for other things.

Melissa: WYNN DUFFY!!!! I hope I remember to DVR this, it looks like it will smartly parody a lot of things, which is needed in prime time.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: This is either going to be a family hit, it’s paired with Fresh Off the Boat on Tuesdays or tank because it couldn’t find an audience.

Melissa: I worry about the audience too–kids won’t get all these jokes and I sure as shit have never seen Fresh Off the Boat.

Dr. Ken, October 2, 2015, Fridays at 8:30

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: While I applaud ABC’s continued emphasis on diversity this show looks terrible and you would have to pay me to watch.

Melissa: A little Ken Jeong goes a long way–he should not be the star of the show. Props for casting Dave Foley.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: It’s paired with Last Man Standing which I am shocked is still standing so Dr. Ken will probably be on for ten years.

Melissa: I have not heard of Last Man Standing and many of these jokes gave me major eyeroll but I am always wrong.


Blood & Oil, September 27, 2015, Sundays at 9

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I watch enough soaps (Nashville and Empire), I don’t need this one about oil. Also did we need Don Johnson back on TV? DOUBLE ALSO this show is the reason I cried while watching Chasing Life last Monday. This show is dead to me.

Melissa: I miss you so much, Chase Crawford. However, Dallas was already rebooted AND there’s a show called Bloodline, so this existence of this puzzles me.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Very fucking high. In fact I think this piece of trash might be the first cancelled.

Melissa: I couldn’t finish the trailer. I will guess it lasts longer than it has any right to.

Quantico, September 27, 2015, Sundays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This is a possibility. It’s like a mysterious Grey’s Anatomy. I also love a sweaty Dougray Scott –okay I like to make fun of a sweaty Dougray Scott and it looks like he is being replaced by Josh Hopkins so enjoy his sweatiness in the preview people.

Melissa: Quantico: where I would stop for a Wendy’s frosty after going to a show in DC in college. I actually don’t watch anything Sundays except HBO (one day I will catch up on The Good Wife), and Priyanaka Chopra is very appealing, so I might add this.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I can see this lasting forever OR tanking around mid-season.

Melissa: I feel attached to this show so it will probably bomb, though it would be great to have a show with a leading WOC on Sundays.

Wicked City, October 27, 2015, Tuesdays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: After True Detective 2 I’m done with crime anthologies unless they are Fargo (I will never be done with Fargo).

Melissa: Is ABC hiring everyone from Gossip Girl? I’m into the L.A./glam rock aspect of this show so I will probably watch it.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: This is an anthology series so I expect them to show every fucking episode unless the ratings are really bad.

Melissa: More importantly: chances it will make Ed Westwick the star he deserves to be? I HOPE 100%.


The Catch, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This is from Shonda Rhimes so I am intrigued but alas I’m going to pass. If I’m going to watch fluff it’s going to be that NBC show about the tattooed woman who can kick-ass.

Melissa: Like all Rhimes’ shows, I will probably get obsessed with the first seven episodes then something in episode 8 will annoy the crap out of me and I’ll quit cold turkey.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Unless this gets terrible ratings it will be on forever. I would imagine this will replace Grey’s when it finally is put to pasture as the third show on ABC’s Shonda Thursday. However, the showrunner was replaced because of creative differences so that could spell doom.

Melissa: I don’t know how this story will last more than one season, it could be Revenge part 2.

The Family, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This looks creepy and I find Joan Allen unsettling so it’s a no for me but good for #7 having a new job (he has a baby on the way).

Melissa: I have zero interest in this beyond caring about the careers of Zach Gilford and Alison Pill.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: That show with Ryan Phillipe was renewed so you know, this could be on for the foreseeable future.

Melissa: I feel like it will be on forever and because it has such a generic name I will never remember which show it is when EW posts about it.

The Real O’Neals, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Where oh where is Stan’s beard? As for this show if I were to partake a family comedy it would be this thanks to the awesomeness that is Martha Plimpton.

Melissa: YAY weird family comedy ala Suburgatory.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Probably high because I like it and family sitcoms I like on ABC get cancelled –RIP Trophy Wife.

Melissa: I am the kiss of death and I will be obsessed with it and it will be cancelled and I will cry.

Of Kings and Prophets, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: What the fuck is Ray Winstone doing in this AND why is it both ultra religious and also hyper violent/sexy? This is a NO FUCKING WAY. Though I think Melissa and I should live blog the premiere.

Melissa: I will absolutely live blog this with you, though I will not be able to watch more than one episode. I am getting more excited for Quantico by the minute.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: If this makes it to air I will be highly surprised, as this has “midseason show that never airs” written all over it.

Melissa: It also seems like a summer show to me. If it premieres in the fall, I give it three episodes max.

Uncle Buck, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: Both this and The Real O’Neals are vastly better than Dr. Ken. Mike Epps is a treasure.

Melissa: Is this based on the movie? Why can’t anyone come up with original ideas? They even make the big pancakes! HOWEVER, I LOVE the cast and I laughed a lot.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Again I have a shit record about judging the success of family sitcoms on ABC.

Melissa: I kind of think this will be the butt of jokes in the media, which will cause it to fail and I will be the only person sad about it.



Life in Pieces, September 21, 2015, Mondays at 8:30 and then Thursdays at 8:30 (after October 29th)

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: [Editorial Note: This video works even though it looks like it doesn’t. CBS has a terrible youtube page though it’s better than NBC which doesn’t seem to understand technology.] This show seems very white with the exception of Jordan Peele (who is not on the show). I also HATE Zoe Lister Jones who is her usual over-acting self here. Her line readings about her vagina make this a definite no even though I love Colin Hanks, Diane Wiest, and Don from Newsroom.

Melissa: Why isn’t Jordan Peele a regular cast member? He is the best part of the trailer. I would watch this if it wasn’t so white and similar to shows I’ve already seen. RUN, COLIN HANKS.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I’m not sure how this is going to pair with the Big Bang Theory, I bet CBS throws a ton of money at it to make it the NEXT Modern Family.

Melissa: It does not seem to match the audience of TBBT, CBS is full of morons and this will last for seven seasons.

Angel From Hell, November 5, 2015, Thursdays at 9:30

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This made me laugh quite a bit. Jane Lynch should be in a TV show with Mike Birbiglia, Mike Epps, Jordan Peele, and Colin Hanks in which they work someplace awesome –I am a huge fan of the workplace comedy.

Melissa: Kyle Bornheimer! I enjoy him too. I laughed a lot but I felt bad about it.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: If this was premiering in September I would guess it had high probability of being the first cancelled.

Melissa: Too weird of a concept (a woman and her guardian angel) to succeed.


Limitless, September 22, 2015, Tuesdays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I hate that I am so going to watch at least the first episode of this. Here’s the thing I love/hate shows like this. I watched half of the first season of The Blacklist and I watched all of Scorpion, they are dumb, quite often badly acted (except for you John Doggit) and oddly comforting. I have a feeling though I will stop watching this but continue to watch the NBC show with the tattooed girl and dude from Strike Back (I can not ever remember the name)

Melissa: I will never watch this unless I am at Katie’s house and she is marathoning it.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: If this were on NBC I would say high but this is on CBS so I expect it to live forever.

Melissa: I can honestly say I do not care and I will never think about this show again.

Code Black, September 30, 2015, Wednesdays at 10

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: It’s like E.R. had a baby with Grey’s Anatomy and somehow Luis Guzman and Marcia Gay Harden are the adoptive parents. I will probably try this BUT I would rather Netflix acquire the rights to E.R.

Melissa: If there’s one thing I hate it’s medical dramas. a SEVEN MINUTE trailer? Too long, CBS.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: Since I kind of think I might legitimately like this and it’s not a crime procedural, if the ratings are low CBS is cutting this first.

Melissa: Network TV will not support something like this.

Supergirl, October 26, 2015

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I love you Calista Flockhart but you looked like you wanted to throw-up when you were giving that “girl” speech. Also if you employ both Laura Benanti and Jeremy Jordan and don’t have them singing every time they open there mouth you are wasting talent.

Melissa: I don’t think Melissa Benoist is the best choice, but this is automatically getting added to the DVR for its lady superhero ways, Calista Flockhart in bitch mode, and cute Jimmy Olsen.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: DC is pumping a ton of money into this so I think it’s around till at least midseason unless it really tanks.

Melissa: I don’t think this is going anywhere, and it could be the premiere superhero show on network TV.


CBS has two midseason shows both hour long dramas, one is a spin-off of Criminal Minds (I had no idea this was still on the air), Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders and the other is a remake of the movie Rush Hour. Neither had previews at the time of posting for which I’m happy as neither show sounds appealing.


The CW


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, October 12, 2015

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I am either going to love this or hate it but I’m definitely going to try it out –it’s a musical for goodness sake.

Melissa: I liked this preview so much and I will absolutely give it a chance due to my undying love for the CW and musicals.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I can never tell on The CW, I think I pegged Reign to be cancelled after one episode and that show is in like season 34.

Melissa: I don’t think this will have a big audience unless it actually uses pop songs ala Glee.



Containment, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: This show looks gross and not at all fun.

Melissa: Another trailer I stopped after one minute.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I find it highly likely this gets cancelled after two episodes.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, TBA

Chances we are going to watch it

Katie: I am not a fan of DC comics. I have wanted to watch Arrow on Netflix for about two years but can’t actually make myself do it, so I’m thinking this is a no for me.

Melissa: The comic book shows on the CW just seem cheesy to me.

Chances it will get cancelled

Katie: I find it very unlikely this will get cancelled on the CW.

Melissa: Yeah, I am certain this will be on at least as long as Vampire Diaries.

August 24, 2015
by katie

Smart ladies love movies, this week in trailers, August 24, 2015

Movie Trailer Monday


Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

Notable movies coming out this weekend

We Are Your Friends

I have one and only one thought about this movie, and that is, Wes Bentley is really hot and I’m glad he kicked the drugs and has reentered our lives.  [I couldn’t remember this movie and then after two seconds I realized it’s the one where Zac Efron is a DJ and wears headphones around his neck the entire time. Also, Shamir scores the trailer–great choice, filmmakers! I will only see this with Katie while intoxicated because watching another movie about rich white people finding their “voice” makes me feel sick. -M]

Some Kind of Beautiful, is out onDemand and for Rent

Salma Hayek and Pierce Brosnan are too good for this movie but this is exactly the right type of vehicle for Jessica Alba. [What a shitty, generic, movie name. Pierce Brosnan is too old to play the bumbling guy who can’t get his shit together that all the women fight over. The trailer makes this film seem overly complicated and also completely stupid. AVOID. -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

The Martian, October 2, 2015

This movie is basically everybody trying to save Matt Damon, and let’s be honest, wouldn’t YOU want to save Matt Damon. Also in this new trailer Donald Glover speaks which is basically a win for everyone. [I would absolutely save Matt Damon if it meant we’d be best friends and he’d make ten more movies like The Informant! at my suggestion. The supporting cast in this is fantastic, although Kristin Wiig needs to close her damn mouth sometimes. When is that Donald Glover show coming out–the one about music in Atlanta? I want to see him every week. -M]

Carol, November 20, 2015

I can’t wait to watch this and Far From Heaven in a Todd Haynes double feature from heaven. Also let’s all hope this is so good that both Cate and Rooney are nominated for awards –FOR FASHION! [OK I read the book this is based on–Patricia Highsmith’s The Price of Salt–as soon as the movie was announced because I am a weirdo. This might be my most anticipated movie of the year, unless the Coens decide to drop something. Rooney Mara is so freaking gorgeous and she won an acting award at Cannes for this! -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

The Keeping Room, September 25, 2015

I adore Hailee Steinfeld (I highly recommend Barely Lethal which is free on Amazon Prime) and love any movie where women kick ass but I also find Brit Marling and Sam Worthington kind of bland. May be they are more interesting here but in the trailer they look blank faced. [Sam Worthington never became a super famous movie star because his lack of personality, and this won’t help him, though he does look hot as fuck in a beard. I do appreciate this is billed as a “feminist western,” AND it’s directed by a woman, so I might try to see it. -M]

Victor Frankenstein, November 25, 2015

I have no idea why this movie was made or what exactly it wants to be action/horror adventure (to be honest it reminds me of Van Helsing which was THE WORST) but I haven’t completely written it off because I really like James MacAvoy, Daniel Radcliffe and Jessica Brown Findlay. [I am so confused about the tone here (I kind of feel it wants to be a scary version of the Sherlock movies), though I’m MORE puzzled by Daniel Radcliffe’s hideous wig. UGH. -M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

Goodnight Mommy, September 11, 2015

This movie has creepy twins and an even creepier mother so a big fat NO BUT it is co-written and directed by a woman so WIN for equality. [Wow, look at all these movies directed by women today! However, I will never ever watch anything called Goodnight Mommy. Just… no. -M]