April 16, 2015
by melissa
0 comments

Smart ladies love TV, liveblogging the first episode of Twin Peaks

I have seen every David Lynch movie, most of them multiple times, but I have never seen one episode of Twin Peaks, and this weekend in my town, we’re having a Twin Peaks festival, The Great Southern (a reference to the show I don’t get yet)! There’s movie showings, a reading, a listening party, a DJ night and lots more. I hate feeling left out. What better way to celebrate than actually, finally, watching the god damn show.

I have been pretty ignorant about most aspects of  Twin Peaks for 25 years. Here is what I know about it: Laura Palmer, this spread from Sassy, Kyle MacLachlan, pie, Gideon from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, the log lady & sweaters.

Joining me for the liveblog is Katie AND my husband PJ! He watched the entire series while I was in grad school, so you will be able to enjoy his assy comments without me typing them out.

melissa, 08:00:49 PM

It’s up, you guys!!!!!!!!!!! EEEE.

katie, 08:01:05 PM

Oh I forgot the weird music. No joke this is the stuff my dad listens to on the regular. This and Eric Clapton.

katie, 08:02:05 PM

I wish this opening sequence had more pep.

katie, 08:02:41 PM

I think Russ Tamblyn is Amber Tamblyn’s dad.

melissa, 08:03:40 PM

Joan Chen! Having some technical difficulty with PJs posting, hold on…

melissa, 08:05:36 PM

Oh god that lady’s voice is going to be annoying.

melissa, 08:06:38 PM

ohhhh these coats!!!

katie, 08:07:01 PM

What happened to Joan Chen? Does she even make movies anymore? I’ll look that up when I look up Russ Tamblyn.

melissa, 08:07:15 PM

This is about as fast-paced as Top of the Lake.

PJ Sykes, 08:07:18 PM

I love Pete!

melissa, 08:08:38 PM

I feel like that image of Laura Palmer is one of the most iconic TV images ever. David Lynch is so good at that.

katie, 08:08:42 PM

I love that woman playing Laura’s mother she was on Big Love!

PJ Sykes, 08:09:34 PM

Laura’s Dad makes this great drink. It’s half lemonade half ice tea.

melissa, 08:09:36 PM

Awww does she not know Laura is fucking dead and wrapped in plastic yet? Sad.

katie, 08:09:37 PM

That image made Sheryl Lee famous. Sheryl Lee was fabulous in Backbeat.

katie, 08:10:16 PM

PJ is Laura’s dad named Arnold?

melissa, 08:10:57 PM

High school scenes just seem SO BELOW David Lynch.

katie, 08:11:15 PM

Russ Tamblyn plays the doctor and he is Amber Tamblyn’s dad I am on point AND half drunk! Now what has Joan Chen done lately.

melissa, 08:11:42 PM

PJs Arnold Palmer joke was so classic. This is why I invited him.

PJ Sykes, 08:12:59 PM

Ghostwood!

katie, 08:13:35 PM

Joan Chen was on Netflix’s Marco Polo! I am not interested in that at all. Daredevil however was great once Vincent Donofrio showed up.

melissa, 08:13:48 PM

The set design is amazing.

Ray Wise looks SO YOUNG. It’s freaking me out.

PJ Sykes, 08:13:48 PM

I watched the series for the first time all the way through maybe a year ago? I saw it a little in the 90s. I’m already picking up on things the second time through.

PJ Sykes, 08:14:46 PM

Dramatic crying.

katie, 08:15:11 PM

This score is amazing.

melissa, 08:15:16 PM

Russ Tamblyn AKA Gideon. Can this liveblog get people to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?

Laura Palmer’s mom is doing some ugly crying and it is glorious.

melissa, 08:16:27 PM

Now she is freaking screaming like someone in a horror movie. It is SO David Lynch  to have someone scream like that. He probably told that actress to watch a bunch of 60s horror movies.

melissa, 08:16:55 PM

That kid’s hair is SO 90s. UGH. Butt cut.

melissa, 08:17:46 PM

Man the music IS fantastic. I might actually go to that listening party tomorrow of the soundtrack.

melissa, 08:18:46 PM

I love that the music overpowers the dialogue.

melissa, 08:20:07 PM

This hospital is both vintage and futuristic looking.

katie, 08:20:35 PM

Grace Zabriskie who plays Laura’s mom is amazing. She and Bruce Dern are the reasons I watched Big Love.

PJ Sykes, 08:21:05 PM

Sweaters.

katie, 08:21:20 PM

Sherlyn Fenn is so fucking pretty. Also seeing Luara Flyn Boyle young reminds me that she has seriously fucked up her face.

katie, 08:22:16 PM

David Lynch’s idea if high school is amazing.

melissa, 08:22:20 PM

I can see why hipsters now are so obsessed with Twin Peaks. The vintage fashion; the sets; the dry, sarcastic dialogue…

PJ Sykes, 08:22:28 PM

“here”

melissa, 08:23:24 PM

In David Lynch’s high school, everyone is super covered up and intense. This is worse than Degrassi.

katie, 08:23:49 PM

Lara Flynn Boyle now:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-beauty/news/lara-flynn-boyle-looks-unrecognizable-without-makeup-out-in-bel-air-with-mom-picture-20131810

melissa, 08:24:18 PM

So many nice jackets. I need to go shopping even though it’s almost summer.

katie, 08:24:33 PM

I wish Degrassi had this score.

katie, 08:25:42 PM

Bobby is an amazingly bad actor and yet it works.

melissa, 08:25:53 PM

That picture of Lara Flynn Boyle is horrifying. No wonder there were reports she wasn’t going to be on the new show, which I didn’t mention in my paragraph up at the top because I figured everyone knew about it.
This kid reminds me of Seth Cohen. But obviously not as hot.

melissa, 08:27:03 PM

PJ is really upset by modern day Lara Flynn Boyle.

melissa, 08:27:35 PM

Was Laura Palmer like the perfect person? What made her so great? I wish Veronica Mars was here to tell us.

katie, 08:27:44 PM

Sherlyn Fenn was on the Gilmore Girls as two different characters. FUN FACTS!

katie, 08:29:23 PM

I hope Kyle MacLachlan shows up soon. I need me some Trey McDougal!

melissa, 08:30:13 PM

Since I have read nothing about this show I will spend tomorrow researching David Lynch interviews about it. I would tell you to not tell my boss but no one is reading this post.

katie, 08:30:25 PM

Veronica Mars and Kyle MacLachlan solving crime would be an amazing show. So much better than House of Lies and SHEILD.

PJ Sykes, 08:30:31 PM

When I was in high school one of my teachers was killed and student (both accidents). As the principal does the announcement a flood of memories came back. The scenes feel very accurate.

melissa, 08:30:57 PM

So much bad man hair.

katie, 08:32:13 PM

What so weird about current Lara Flynn Boyle is that she is still so skinny and yet she has made her face fat. I do not understand it.

melissa, 08:32:44 PM

There are sooooo many characters. I love the Lynch School of Acting. I would be fucking great at it.

melissa, 08:33:24 PM

Remember cardigans with giant shoulder pads?

melissa, 08:34:29 PM

GET DOWN OFF THE BRIDGE, girl in nightie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

melissa, 08:34:50 PM

Excuse me, girl in dirty, ripped nightie.

katie, 08:35:46 PM

Oh Laura had a piece on the side too!

melissa, 08:36:25 PM

Eyepatch lady is amazing and looks like Ana Gasteyer.

PJ Sykes, 08:36:33 PM

So many great characters. It’s a lot of fun to see this again.

katie, 08:36:44 PM

YES!!! There is my boy!!! I already love him and he has only said two lines.

PJ Sykes, 08:37:40 PM

Diane! I’m live blogging Twin Peaks tonight. Gemma is sleeping at my feet. I had some ice cream, mint ice cream.

melissa, 08:39:07 PM

I am also super into the trees, Agent Cooper.

melissa, 08:40:44 PM

Kyle MacLachlan looks so young and adorable!! I feel like he’s perpetually been 45 since this ended.

katie, 08:41:49 PM

Russ Tamblyn’s tie is AMAZING!

melissa, 08:42:03 PM

GIDEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PJ Sykes, 08:42:29 PM

Katie, this is a normal outfit for Russ.

melissa, 08:42:52 PM

These corks in his ears are a weird small-town quirk.

PJ Sykes, 08:43:08 PM

Flashing lights!

melissa, 08:44:23 PM

I want to paint everything that seafoam green color.

PJ Sykes, 08:46:09 PM

I’ve already been to the Roadhouse. ::reads note:: “Meet me at the Roadhouse”

katie, 08:46:14 PM

All of these teenagers look 32.

melissa, 08:46:19 PM

Blond douche in a letterman jacket= the worst.

katie, 08:46:28 PM

You hang those drapes Ed!!!

katie, 08:47:37 PM

PJ, do we ever meet Diane?

melissa, 08:47:55 PM

Agent Cooper really knows how to rip open a teenage girl’s locked diary! Did he learn that in FBI school?

PJ Sykes, 08:48:34 PM

Katie, Diane is the killer.

PJ Sykes, 08:50:43 PM

Lucy has to be based on Janine from Ghostbusters.

katie, 08:51:07 PM

Bobby would be perfect for Degrassi everyone on that show acts like he does. And that folks is why Drake is the best.

melissa, 08:51:41 PM

Bobby is so angry. He SHOULD be pissed about his Rider Strong haircut.

melissa, 08:52:43 PM

Agent Cooper is so good at his job! He should team up with Luther.

melissa, 08:54:14 PM

This woman is an idiot. She should have plugged the hole in the coffee cup instead of holding it over her desk and moving it around.

katie, 08:55:04 PM

I love how 50’s the kids are in the 90’s. The tight sweaters, pleated skirts, and saddle shoes.

katie, 08:55:14 PM

And the hair styles too.

katie, 08:55:30 PM

Even the boys. The letterman and the greaser.

katie, 08:56:22 PM

Luther can join my dream show with Veronica Mars and Kyle MacLachlan.

melissa, 08:56:26 PM

There are so many things in Twin Peaks world I want, starting with that Hello rug.

PJ Sykes, 08:56:51 PM

Scully’s Dad!

melissa, 08:59:08 PM

Yes this voice is already getting to me after one episode. Maybe after four more I’ll find it endearing?

melissa, 09:00:10 PM

Lara Flynn Boyle, you troublemaker, you!

PJ Sykes, 09:00:47 PM

#hoboblood

katie, 09:01:46 PM

#hoboblood HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

melissa, 09:02:38 PM

Cultural appropriation, much, Jonathan?

PJ Sykes, 09:03:50 PM

Someone just got back from Coachella, Johnathan.

melissa, 09:05:06 PM

He have now seen the worst hair on the show on bizarro Barry Watson.

PJ Sykes, 09:05:39 PM

Leo is the worst.

katie, 09:05:54 PM

Leo’s hair is amazing. And super dirty.

melissa, 09:06:02 PM

Is Leo drinking Mint Schnapp’s? EWWWWW.

katie, 09:06:42 PM

I’m glad Ed put up those drapes. I was very concerned.

melissa, 09:07:03 PM

I LOVE that Agent Cooper is so delighted by the flora and fauna of the pacific northwest.

katie, 09:07:44 PM

Is this taking place all in one day?

melissa, 09:07:56 PM

This meeting is SO Gilmore Girls-esque.

PJ Sykes, 09:08:05 PM

It’s log, log… it’s big it’s heavy it’s wood!

katie, 09:10:09 PM

That meeting also reminded me of Parks and Rec. And now I want to cry.

melissa, 09:11:07 PM

Swell Gal embroidered pillows for everyone!

melissa, 09:12:27 PM

What a cute relationship between these two weird sisters.

katie, 09:12:59 PM

I wish that Mike, Leo, and Bobby would all get lost down the river.

katie, 09:13:34 PM

I want that swell gal pillow.

melissa, 09:14:25 PM

Duh, she’s at the ROADHOUSE.

PJ Sykes, 09:15:01 PM

See you at 9:30 www.texasroadhouse.com

melissa, 09:15:25 PM

Lucy seems to work long shifts. I hope she is fairly compensated with overtime. #hrminute

katie, 09:16:23 PM

LEAVE JOANN ED YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

katie, 09:17:51 PM

It’s a party at the Roadhouse! This is like the worst roadhouse in the world it looks like a VFW.

PJ Sykes, 09:18:21 PM

Julee Cruise singing at the Roadhouse sounds like it could have been released in 2011 by SubPop.

melissa, 09:18:26 PM

This song was in Lost Highway and it gave me nightmares for MONTHS.

PJ Sykes, 09:19:14 PM

BAR FIGHT!

melissa, 09:19:26 PM

Donna’s boyfriend is abusive. She needs to get out of this relationship, asap.

melissa, 09:19:57 PM

Don’t get on that bike with ANOTHER bad-haired dude, Donna!

katie, 09:20:24 PM

After watching Daredevil with amazing fight sequences the roadhouse fight is hilarious.

katie, 09:20:33 PM

I WANT A DOUGHNUT!

katie, 09:23:52 PM

James is already the winner with his short haircut.

melissa, 09:23:53 PM

JAMES IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

PJ Sykes, 09:25:31 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laid_(song)

katie, 09:26:02 PM

That is the worst burying the evidence job ever.

melissa, 09:26:22 PM

You NEVER bury something you don’t want people to find under a rock. That is a clear sign that something’s under the rock.

katie, 09:27:48 PM

James sure did move on fast.

melissa, 09:27:57 PM

PJ keeps pointing out actors who were also on the X Files.

PJ Sykes, 09:29:02 PM

Best. Dad. Ever.

melissa, 09:29:11 PM

Donna comes from such a nice family. They are so good and understanding.

melissa, 09:29:57 PM

Who is going to eat all those donuts?

katie, 09:30:04 PM

Lucy is an amazing assistant. She deserves a bonus.

katie, 09:31:33 PM

I always want to go to Vancouver but then I worry it will give me nightmares because it will remind me of X File episodes.

melissa, 09:31:46 PM

This jail-yelling bit somehow reminds me of Hemlock Grove. I mentioned it first! I WIN.

katie, 09:33:20 PM

GO MELISSA!

PJ Sykes, 09:33:21 PM

29 more to go!

melissa, 09:33:55 PM

Oh no! It’s over! I want to know who killed Laura Palmer! I guess I’ll have to watch more of this damn show.

katie, 09:34:11 PM

I think I’m done at one but I will probably read about it on Wikipedia.

melissa, 09:34:40 PM

Bed time! Thanks for reading along with us, NO ONE! I hope people find this blog later, so that was a shitty thing to say.

PJ Sykes, 09:34:41 PM

Keep going?

katie, 09:35:06 PM

Goodnight Melissa and PJ! I’m going to be very American and watch The Big Bang Theory!

melissa, 09:35:18 PM

Good niiiiiiiiight.

PJ Sykes, 09:35:46 PM

The guys from BBT would watch more.

April 14, 2015
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love TV, Outlander recap, By the Pricking of My Thumbs

Previously on Outlander, Jamie tried to discipline Claire and learned from his mistakes. Claire, however, remained fabulous, though she now has a better awareness of how fucked up the 18th century is towards women.

Claire's "middle of carnal pleasure but some asshole keeps knocking at my door" look

Claire’s “middle of carnal pleasure but some asshole keeps knocking at my door” look

Murtagh is a cunnilingus interuptus this week. He informs Jamie that the Duke of Sandringham is here to hang out with Colum. Sandringham could help Jamie as he has a bit of a crush on the red-head. Claire informs them both that Black Jack is a friend of Sandringham. Murtagh and Jamie decide to consult Ned.

Jamie's "I'm intently listening to a lawyer" smolder

Jamie’s “I’m intently listening to a lawyer” smolder

Ned proposes drafting a document about Black Jack’s crimes to prove to Sandringham that Jack is a jerk. Sandringham can take that to a guy and Jack could get court marshaled thus making it easier to for Ned to win Jamie a pardon.

Guess which one get's a slap to the face --hint it's not our Claire.

Dear Laoghaire, you are no fucking match for Claire.

Laoghaire, Jamie’s old girlfriend is in the bad place in the break-up where you just can’t convince yourself it’s over. She and Claire get into it over Jamie and the ill-wish Laoghaire left under the couples bed. I feel bad for Laoghaire–she is young and delusional. She also tells Claire the Geillis sold her the ill-wish.

Geillis knows all!

Geillis knows all!

Claire goes to Geillis to confront her and finds her at midnight dancing to the full moon. She also finds out that Geillis is with child. Geillis apologizes for selling Laoghaire the ill-wish and confides in Claire that Dougal NOT her flatulent husband is the father of her child. She also claims to have cast a spell to allow the lovers to be together. I’ve missed Geillis and her impish charm.

This should probably be a pick of Claire and the dead baby but instead I went with costume porn.

This should probably be a pic of Claire and the dead baby but instead I went with costume porn.

As they walk back to the village/castle they hear a baby. Geillis tells Claire the child is a fairy changeling and the family put the sickly baby out so that the fairies will give them back their own healthy child. Claire is appalled so she goes to rescue the child only to find it dead. Jamie finds her so that she can sign the paper informing Sandringham what an evil bastard Black Jack is.

The Duke of Sandringham

The Duke of Sandringham

Before Jamie goes to give the letter to the Duke of Sandringham. Basically she goes to get the feel for the man after Geillis tells her that Sandringham is also a Jacobite. They threaten each other into friendship and then drink on it.

Why people should not get drunk if there are weapons about.

Why people should not get drunk if there are weapons about.

On Claire’s way back to the castle she finds out that Dougal has gotten mad drunk after he learned that his wife has just died. Claire is ordered to drug him by the Laird. She and one of the boys manage to get it into his drink and he passes out. Claire runs into Geillis in the village who is super pleased that part of her summoning has worked –oh Geilly you imp.

Dual you say.

Jamie and Murtagh go to bring the letter to Sandringham who is super not pleased with Black Jack and even more not pleased that people know they are friends. Sandringham agrees to help Jamie but Jamie must first be his second in a dual with the McDonalds.

Murderess.

Murderess.

Colum throws a banquet for the Duke at the castle with bagpipes. Claire tells Sandringham in no uncertain terms that she will kill him if anything happens to Jamie during the dual. Just as everyone is having fun, Geillis’ husband drops dead. Geillis and Dougal share a brief smile before Geillis screams. Both Claire and Colum notice the smile.

"Please tell your wife this was NOT my fault"

“Please tell your wife this was NOT my fault”

The ceremonial dual goes off without a hitch until Jamie and the McDonald boys start sassing each other like children –children with swords. Jamie ends up stabbed and as you can imagine Claire is none too pleased.

I love screenshots like this one. It's so funny.

I love screenshots like this one. It’s so funny.

Colum summons Jamie after Claire stitches him up. Colum is mad at Jamie for getting into a fight with the McDonald’s and is super pissed at Dougal for having an affair with Geillis. He sends Dougal to his estate and is making Jamie go with him –without Claire.

More costume porn. The tartan on this show is so pretty.

More costume porn. The tartan on this show is so pretty.

Claire is worried about Jamie going away with a wound without her. As he leaves Jamie makes Claire promise not to see Geillis because Colum will likely be after her next. Claire gets a note from Geillis and immediately breaks her promise to Jamie.

Oh Claire.

Oh Claire.

Clare finds Geillis at home acting as if nothing is wrong. Geilly tells her that she did not send her that note. Claire tries to warn her about Colum but just then the two are arrested for witchcraft. Claire spies Laoghaire smiling.

 

 

April 13, 2015
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love movies, this week in trailers, April 13, 2015

Movie Trailer Monday

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

Notable movies coming out this weekend

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

Nothing is opening this weekend–my choices were this and Disney’s Monkey Kingdom, so I flipped a coin and Paul Blart won –enjoy??? [Seriously, who asked for this movie? The cast is pretty diverse, though, so good job Hollywood! -M]

Lost River, is out onDemand and for Rent

That weird movie that Ryan Gosling directed is now available to watch at home on your couch. [Why does every actor want to be a director? It’s like all my teacher friends who want to be administrators but find out that sucks in its own way. The acting in this trailer reminds me of David Lynch movies. -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

The D Train, May 8, 2015

I read a lot about this movie when it premiered at Sundance and I enjoyed the trailer a lot. I used to hate James Marsden but really I just hate Cyclops (he is so boring), he has become a really great comedian. [I have loved James Marsden since his time on Ally McBeal. I saw Mike White in the trailer and got so excited that I thought he wrote it, but alas, he did not. This looks really enjoyable, you know, for a movie NOT written by Mike White. -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

Southpaw, July 31, 2015

This movie looks fantastic, but it has a trailer that explains too much, which I hate. I would go see this if you just showed the boxing and told me it was co-written by Kurt Sutter. [I would advise NOT watching the trailer, as it basically follows the plot of the movie. But Jake Gyllenhall makes interesting choices so this might go somewhere unexpected? -M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

Skin Trade, April 23, 2015 (online) & May 8, 2015 (in theaters)

This movie looks like a terrible Liam Neeson knock-off but I do love the way Dolph Lundgren reads his lines, he is very serious. [RON PERLMAN!!!!!! There is truly nothing else to say when Ron Perlman is involved. He’s just the best. -M]