Last night, ABC aired an awards show that is as meaningful as the People’s Choice or Cable Ace Awards (RIP), the American Music Awards. There were lots and lots of performances and some awards no one cared about.
The whole shebang was emceed by Pitbull. Why does he keep getting asked to host this show? Is his music relevant? (He performed and ummm…) He was less annoying overall than the too-short microphone that kept frustrating all the winners. Either teach them how to speak without putting their mouths on the mic, or have one that can be moved up and down.
While looking through Getty Images, I noticed that the AMAs brought in SO MANY people to cover the event, from TV folks I’d never heard of (see Worst Dressed) to Internet folks I’d never heard of to evil Giuliana to Internet folks I do know (FLULAAAAAA!!!!).
I didn’t see Elizabeth Banks on TV, perhaps she slipped in the back, which is a shame because she looks fanfuckingtastic. She is older than most of the people at the AMAs but managed to outdress all of them.
I fucking love this dress. I also wish more people wore mini’s on the red carpet. -K
I am so pleased that Selena Gomez wants to dress like the music version of Rooney Mara. Everything that is not matte jersey is black velvet. I wish her boobs were wrangled a bit better.
I love the earrings and hair and I think I would love the dress if she had on a bra. -K
Dianna Agron looks like she got drunk at last night’s punk rock prom and decided to show up to this at the last minute, in the most awesome way possible.
I am loving her style of late go DIANNA AGRON. -K
Ne-Yo always dresses like he cares about fashion and he (or his stylist) has an excellent attention to fit and detail.
I am always pleased with a good hemmed pant and well I am a sucker for sparkly anything so you go Ne-Yo! -K
While this black gown on Charlie XCX does not excite me in a photo, this looked lovely on the red carpet. Bonus points for having an all-female band in vintage prom dresses and rocking that pleather bra top while being flipped over by her dancers.
RED LIPSTICK FTW!!! -K
I can’t endorse high-low hems AT ALL, but damn that Mary Lambert for finding a perfect-fitting dress in my favorite color! Katie will be super pleased with her lipstick. We both hate her shoes.
Mary Lambert looks adorable but those shoes fucking suck. -K
Bow down bitches, Miss Diana Ross, wearing a dress covered in mushrooms, owns this red carpet.
Diana Ross is a national fucking treasure! -K
Since he’s never going to wear it again, I think the world would be a better place if Wyclef Jean would give me this leather jacket.
Love the jacket and LOVE the shoes. -K
Hey Taylor Schilling, your dress is pretty effing cute! And your shoes are a COLOR! Way to show up these 18 year olds. You can’t distract me with those shoes, though: put on some goddamn lipstick that is not the same color as your skin.
More short skirts, LOVE IT! -K
One day I’ll write a post about how much I like the new One Direction record (mostly when Zayn or Harry is singing), but today I’ll mention they appear relaxed and cool without looking like they tried too hard.
I really wish Harry Styles would wash or cut his hair. -K
Had Zendaya Coleman not worn a powder blue swimsuit top I would have thought this 70s throwback look was absolute perfection. It’s still more daring and interesting than what anyone else wore, and it looked amazing on TV.
Gold lamé is a very unappreciated red carpet fabric. I hope more people wear it in the future. MORE GOLD! MORE MINIs! ALWAYS LIPSTICK! -K
I had never heard of Danai Gurira before this show but this stunning green dress caused me to Google her, find out she’s on a show I don’t ever plan to watch (The Walking Dead) and hope she shows up on something I enjoy.
Love this. I also want more green on the red carpet too. -K
I find Jhene Aiko’s skirt slightly too full. However, her shoulder tattoo, kind of wacky hair, the dress reminding me of the holidays and the fact that I enjoy her music greatly force me to put her into the “Best Dressed” category.
BALL GOWN! I am down with all of this. -K
I wish Julianne Hough would do something different to her hair but this red dress is gorgeous and the pink detailing at the top makes me like it even more.
Good dress, shitty hair. -K
I am growing tired of Kate Beckinsale’s high pony. Her makeup, though, is natural-looking and flawless.
Love the make-up and necklace. The hair and dress are super BORING. -K
5 Seconds of Summer make me feel old.
WASH YOUR FUCKING HAIR! -K
I miss Rita Ora’s red lipstick. This fit really weird at the boobs and I don’t think the color is right for her.
LIPSTICK NOW! I am done with the nude lip. -K
I feel I know Donnie Wahlberg from Wahlburgers and I wish I didn’t know Jenny McCarthy from her big mouth. They look nice, but not remarkable.
It’s like Aloe Blacc didn’t even try (except the shoes, which I dig).
This is what you wear to the store but Aloe is still fucking hot. -K
Becky G’s white dress was appropriate for the event, if a bit boring, but how dare she wear white pumps to such a fun, meaningless event?
She should have worn pink shoes that match her lipstick. -K
Nicki Minaj’s dress is so fun but her shoes give me the major sads. I’m also not really into her too-dark, bang-free hair.
Nicki needs lipstick. -K
I don’t have the heart to put Megan Trainor in Worst Dressed since she is newly famous and I sort of like her, but I don’t like anything about her funereal outfit except the clutch.
Ugh. I also have no idea who she is. -K
I love long sleeves and turtlenecks, but not together. Tracee Ellis Ross is too covered up for this type of event. Everything else, though–hair, makeup, clutch, shoes–is on point.
I love her so much I can’t make fun of this. Also Blackish is good. -K
Lauren Cohan is on two shows I don’t watch–Supernatural and Walking Dead–and while I like her simple dress and hair, I wish she had one accessory that made a strong positive impression on me.
She looks like she is wearing lip gloss. -K
Nathan Fillion heard there is an opening in sales and hopes to be considered for the position.
Oh Nathan Fillion never change! -K
Like everyone else in black, Lucy Hale’s dress looked better on TV than in photos. I still felt like there was something missing.
She needs a color. -K
Nothing Ansel Elgort is wearing looks like it fits (maybe the shoes). Also Adam Ant did it way better.
I don’t understand the appeal of this kid at all. -K
I don’t even…-K
No to Brantley Gilbert’s chunky necklace, wide legged jeans and fug loafers. Why do male country singers always stand like monkeys?
I don’t even…-K
The sleeves on Won-G Bruny’s half leather/half military jacket (???) are WAYYYY too tight. I wonder if he can move his arms.
I don’t even…-K
Noah Cyrus looks so sad, which I do not understand, because she’s fucking rich forever thanks to her family. She probably just realized her dress does not pass the fingertips test. Or perhaps she got a glimpse of how crappy and lifeless her hair is.
That hair is dead. -K
Renee Barg is some kind of TV personality, one who follows trends two years too late.
I can’t come up with anything clever. -K
While Heidi Klum’s shoes are stunning, I think this Versace dress is too revealing for no reason and the color combination looks very childish.
She looks like an Easter egg. -K
Danica McKellar sure is super intelligent and beautiful but her dress and hair are straight 80s bridal.
Oh Danica you deserve better. -K
NO TO BLACK BOOTIES WITH WHITE (pale pink?) DRESS. Lia Marie Johnson should have already learned this.
Who is this person. -K
I have seen Khloe Kardashian in this a billion times already. Also, her hair is blah and her lipstick makes her look dead.
Oh Khloe. -K
See what happens when you’re rich, kids? You give up and start dressing like Jaden Smith.
It could be that Skylar Grey’s outfit is making a statement about the appropriation of hip hop culture, but I doubt it. Does her hat say WOODRAT? She wore an all-white version of this during her performance with Nicki Minaj and I hated it less.
I don’t know who these people are. I am so old AND I mainly only listen to show-tunes. -K
Kylie’s haircolor does not look as good as she thinks it does. She’s suffering from Sarah Hyland syndrome, where she dresses fifteen years older than she is.
No comment. -K
I don’t want to give these randos more attention but Frankie Grande and Bleona (??), Nicole Scherzinger has something to tell you:
Free from criticism
On anyone but J Lo, I would say this is a dated dress made from nude bandages but J Lo is, as you know, the most beautiful woman in America, and she is untouchable. Her make up and hair are covetable, as always.
Look at her pretty SHOES. I am so ready for Idol to come back on my TV. -K