Smart ladies love fashion, Katie’s best and worst dressed at the 2014 Golden Globes

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EmmaThompson_ApprovesI really, really enjoyed all of the fashion at the globes this year (I know I ENJOY all of the fashion which is why I always go second, I am a gusher who I LOVES everyone –I even almost loved Kaley Cuoco and then talked myself out of it–okay, Melissa was giving me the side-eye). For a more discerning fashion post check out Melissa’s here.

Absolute favorites (AKA the ones I freaked out about and scared Melissa with all the high-pitched squealing of delight)

Tatiana Maslany was my overall favorite look, her dress, make-up, hair, and accessories all worked and I loved it. I was very disappointed that she did not win as I love her and Orphan Black.

I wish Mila Kunis was smiling in this photo; I am not down with the “fierce” red carpet look, I am a proponent of the “smize” red carpet look –Tyra would approve. [NOTE: found a smiling photo! -M] I love the halter which is studded with sparkly rosettes and I am always a fan of grey/silver on the red carpet. She get mad points for not over accessorizing and keeping her hair and make-up simple (I do wish she had on colored lipstick).

I went crazy for Carol Vessey’s Julie Bowen’s gown when I saw it. OMG! It’s my two favorite fabrics velvet and silk taffeta and it’s in my second favorite color combination, deep red fuchsia and dark purple orchid (number one color combo is periwinkle and goldenrod and yes, I am an asshole). Her hair is not overly edgy or twee (something Julie has had issues with in the past) and I covet her handbag. The fit is also sleek and modern, with a touch of thirties glam and who doesn’t love a cap-sleeve and a belt. She gets bonus points for kissing Andy Samberg on the lips when he won for Brooklyn 9-9.

Ballgowns FTW

Melissa pointed out that Michelle Dockery dressed for me and well she is pretty accurate. This dress is a bell-shaped ballgown in a grey/tan/gold color with an embroidered, sparkly pattern applied to the whole thing (seriously the amount of hours this dress took to makes me heart it ever so more). She has on a large ring for jewelry (lets face it with all the dress sparkle a necklace would have been too much), simple satin shoes (with a rounded point my FAVORITE), bright lips, and hair that is not overly fussed with but nicely styled. Good job Lady Mary!

Somebody wrote on Sunday night that this was a miss and I think those fools need to have their head examined because as usual Julianna Margulies is pretty fucking flawless. The fit of this dress is perfect and her hair and make-up are simple so as not to compete with the gold embroidery on the dress. It has a very nice deep v and capped sleeves –seriously what more do you want. AND it’s interesting for a black gown.

A lot of people had issues with this dress and I do have issues with Tina Fey’s hair (I think it should have been put up as it just adds a lot of distraction to an already heavily patterned dress) but I think the shape works for her (I really like a gown that has a bustle, many people think it’s too fussy, to which I say pish-posh nothing is too fussy –well some things are too fussy but we will get to those a little later in the post). I also think the pattern is nice proportional and not that overwhelming.

I loved this but Melissa felt it would be better on someone other than Taylor Swift but I like that it’s fun and youthful, excellently tailored to her frame and very classy.

Radiant Orchid the Pantone color of the year

Expect to see lots of people in purple/violet/orchid/fuchsia this year because it is the Pantone color of the year! Jessica Lange’s dress was more purple/fuchsia on the TV than in pictures but it is fantastic not only for the color but also for its interesting shape and velvet fabric. I also enjoyed her bracelets and hair/make-up.

Look I love this and I don’t give a crap if you don’t. Purple is my favorite color, I love bustles, I am always excited for shoes that aren’t black strappy sandles, and her hair and make-up is fabulous. Also this is Aubrey Plaza and I love her.

Black is not just basic it’s also lovely

Does Angela Basset age? She looks radiant in this black dress with diagonal embroidery. Her hair and make-up (especially the smokey eye) might also be the best at the event.

Emma Roberts totally upstaged her aunt in this simple yet flattering black frock. Her turquoise earrings are also AMAZING.

Dear Jessica Chastain, this is the most flattering dress shape for your figure and also when you wear a more structural fabric like this embroidered taffeta you do not have the fit issues you are often plagued with –you ma’am are a WINNER.

Greta Gerwig looks like a ballerina, this is a look I, but not everyone appreciate. It also has sparkles and I enjoy her not-overly complicated updo.

I liked this but I would have loved it if Lily Rabe’s dress was tea length. I do love that it has capped sleeves (this might be a theme) and the sparkled embroidery.

Oh Leslie Mann you never disappoint me AND you always wear interesting NOT boring frocks. I’m a fan of a peplum (I LOVE FROU FROU, leave me be).

Black and Bling

>The more I look at this picture of Lizzy Caplan, the more I really appreciate the weirdness and yet simple elegance of this dress. I also enjoy the finger waves and her clutch.

How can you dislike a dress on a woman who looks this happy?  I am certainly not that person. Of course, I am completely biased as Emma Thompson is one of my personal heroes. Here is a bonus gif of her and her lovely daughter.

As seen here.

As seen here.

Melissa McCartney you are in a dress that is fitted and has a three-quarter sleeve. Your hair and make-up look fantastic AND I want your clutch. You madame are America’s sweetheart, JLaw and Sandy be DAMNED!

Black, White and AMAZING

Jenna Dewan-Tatum we would appreciate it if you would be in something better than that weird witches show on Lifetime with Julia Ormand (in fact we would appreciate it if she weren’t on that show either so take her with you when you escape to something better) as you are adorable. This look is AMAZING!

Zosia Mamet for fucksake smile on the red carpet as you then go from blah to glam –LISTEN TO TYRA! This is a great look and when she was walking and talking she look amazing; the picture, however, makes this look drab and frumpy. SMILE!

Representing how you are supposed to do neutrals

Ladies if you aren’t going to smile then instead of looking “fierce” I would suggest going with the Gabourey Sidibe, “I own this red carpet bitches, now bow down to my awesomeness” look.  She looks fabulous in this ivory/gold dress. I also love her Veronica Lake hair. LOVE!

You don’t get a sense of how cute Margot Robbie is from The Wolf of Wall Street trailers because they kind of play her up as the standard dim girlfriend (which is a trope I would love to see retired) but in person (and from what I here the movie) she seems like a lovely and intelligent girl with a great sense of style. I loved this white dress with diamond and emerald embellishments. Her hair, make-up and jewelry were subtle.

As usual Naomi Watts is understated, sleek and gorgeous on the red carpet.

Hot dudes…

Melissa and I were super-duper excited when we saw that Chiwetel Ejiofor was sporting a beard (as you know we are big fans of the beard). He is also sporting a suit that fits perfectly (you would not believe the number of dudes who don’t understand they need to hem their fucking pants) and his date Sari Mercer, looks lovely in a black dress with gold embellishments at the top. Good job cuties now go have a million cute babies.

Speaking of two cuties who are going to have another adorable baby, Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth look awesome on the red carpet. Hemsworth’s pants could be just a tad shorter but he gets mad props for a velvet jacket, vest and pocket watch (you can not fuck with a dude who wears a pocket watch on the red carpet, Thor or no Thor).

Chris Pine is showing EVERYONE how to wear a simple tux –RAWR! Also thank you for the beard.

Kind of boring but you’re totally rocking what you got

National treasure and nominee for Veep and Enough Said, Julia Louis-Dreyfus looked foxy in this tomato dress but I would have LOVED some sparkle somewhere near her neck (not a necklace because of the halter), maybe bigger earrings.

This is lovely but Dame Helen Mirren wears this dress a lot. The styling is great but also the same.

Melissa thought this was perfect (she doesn’t believe in over styling Calvin Klein) but I thought it needed something. Maybe I hate the black accessories. Besides it being undramatic I do love Reese Witherspoon’s hair and make-up.

This is MUCH better than the dress Melissa Rauch wore to the People’s Choice Awards earlier in the week. The shape and fit are nice but it is missing something.

Masters of Sex, star Caitlin Fitzgerald looks so fresh and so clean clean (Outkast is playing Coachella, y’all). I really really LOVE the shoes which are pink and blue, the color and cut of the dress and her make-up BUT the fabric close up looked like textured polyester from the 70s and not crisp cotton sateen.

Totally not boring but maybe way too busy

Zoe Saldana’s dress was made for her by Prabal Gurung and because of that she probably didn’t think she could say “hey, maybe less is more.” The designer is right that she is the only person who can even come close to pulling this off but as it is it is overly fussy but flattering?!? Does that make any sense?

The color is great but the fit might be off and in some pictures you are rocking it and in other you are not

Lena Dunham’s hair and make-up look great. The color is to die for! I am super stoked she tried a fitted mermaid gown, I just wish Zac Posen had fit it correctly at the bust. It also could have been taken in at the hem about an inch. It was the dress I so badly wanted to jump into my TV and fix because it could have been great.

When ballgowns go wrong and/or your dress looks like it might eat you

Sofia Vergara I appreciate your necklace: it is large, in charge and gorgeous. AND I love that you are NOT wearing a mermaid gown but this Zac Posen is really, really big on the bottom and even I am like, WOAH someone should have done about half the pleats.

There was a second when I first saw Kaley Cuoco, where I was like “print, ballgown, chiffon, love” and then I saw it had exposed boning and came to my senses that this is what ballgowns look like when they are depressed.

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Paula Patton I LOVE you, you are a delight in movies, but this dress is NOT your friend. When you were on stage presenting I felt like the ruffles were getting bigger and were slowly going to devour your head.

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This is Berenice Bejo NOT as the Huffington Post would have you believe Beyonce Bejo, she is a lovely woman, however her dress looks like it is alive and trying to eat her.

Edie Falco  woke up Sunday morning and told her stylist that she would really like to go to the Globes wearing the unfitted  satin sheet off her bed, fugly tan pumps and hair and make-up that looks like she drove down the highway with her head out the sunroof. Edie Falco should fire her stylist.

Uma Thurman is dressed for the prom circa 1995. I hate everything except for maybe the diamond bracelet and that’s only because, DIAMONDS.

WTF???

First Melissa pointed out that Emma Watson was wearing capri pants under her dress, then we found this photo in which we learned that Emma Watson was wearing capri pants because somebody had tragically cut out the back of her dress. Also her shoes appear to be navy and her pants appear to be black which on an entire look I like but here it looks like they couldn’t decide if her pants were blue or black and assumed blue (this has happened to me with socks on numerous occasions). Her make-up is pretty but her hair is messy. I think this was meant to look edgy but unfortunately the whole thing is just sloppy and weird.