Smart ladies love fashion, Melissa’s best and worst dressed at the SAG Awards

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Via.

Laverne Cox is so freaking fabulous. Via.

I watched the SAG Awards last night with my sainted husband, who wanted nothing to do with my constant complaints about the fashion (not enough weird) and Maria Menounos (I hate her voice and she makes me miss Giuliana). The awards themselves went fast, but the whole time I watched them I wished I was drunk. Katie’s fashion post will show up tomorrow–if anything is missing here, it’s because I “saved” it for her (purple, Juliana Marguiles, half the cast of OITNB). Now let’s examine the totally decent SAG Awards fashion!

Best Dressed

I probably should have saved Tatiana Maslany for Katie but this is a Melissa dress if I ever saw one. Striped, black and white and kind of witchy.

Mozan Marno has been on a bunch of procedurals and shows I don’t watch (Bones, The Blacklist, House of Cards), so I initially passed by her name in Getty, but once I got a closer look at this gown, she meets so many Melissa-esque criteria: goldenrod dress, gold bag, lipstick, interesting neckline, vintage-inspired. Plus, she is insanely beautiful.

Natalie Dormer’s hair is not my favorite but this dress is so lovely and feminine and I want a short version of it for a wedding I’m going to this spring.

I know Anna Chlumsky’s dress is a little strange and resembles a breast plate, but I like strange and Anna is a bloody genius on Veep.

If you have to wear a tent dress after you have a baby, Rosamund Pike can show you how to rock the shit out of it.

How does Naomi Watts manage to make me not hate a fishtail gown? She is MAGIC.

I am so pissed Ethan Hawke did not appear to take any full body pictures alone on the red carpet. This green Calvin Klein suit fit him perfectly and he was my favorite male BY FAR (sorry Eddie Redmayne).

I will ignore Masie Williams’ dyeable bridesmaid shoes and focus on her adorable lacy dress and dark Lorde lipstick. I want her to be friends with Kiernan Shipka and Hailee Steinfeld. Can you imagine those clothing swaps???

Sarah Paulsen does vintage-inspired yet again and I am totally smitten.

I totally cried when Uzo Aduba won her SAG–she has made Crazy Eyes have so much depth. The yellow is great against her skin and the fit is so flattering.

SHOCKING, I’m featuring another man here, Ty Burrell. I don’t think all the details, like the interesting shirt, photographed well, but the fit could not be better.

Rashida Jones gets an automatic bid for this category for wearing not only a print, but also a dress I would like to own.

Selenis Leyva looks twenty years younger in real life than she does on Orange is the New Black. I love that there’s a pattern on the top instead of the bottom.

Melissa Fumero, who is very charming on Brooklyn Nine Nine, is doing justice to my favorite color combination in this sleek dress.

Amy Ryan makes this whole red carpet thing look easy. This color is fabulous on her.

Most Disappointing

Claire Danes is always one of my favorites, and I definitely warmed up to this as the night wore on, but I don’t think a halter is really her thing. The color is gorgeous and I even like the belt!

Julie Bowen usually looks much more modern than this. Not in love with the bridal beading on her.

I am completely on board with the menswear trend, but this sheer skirt is appalling. Emma Stone’s hair and makeup are flawless, as usual.

Meh Dressed

I usually like Sophia Bush’s clothes, but she is dressed for a formal Valentine’s Day party in 1944.

Paula Patton, the beading on this is gorgeous, but you have got to start wearing gowns that are a different color and/or shape.

I wish Taryn Manning’s dress had been tailored better, as I love the sleeves and the color. She also needs lipcolor!

Andrea Riseborough, WHERE IS YOUR MAKEUP AND DID A CHILD DO YOUR HAIR?? The dress color is amazing and is saving her from being worst dressed.

zzzzz. Oh, sorry… I fell asleep looking at Chelsea Peretti’s black dress. I kind of wish she had worn this:

While Kelly MacDonald should be commended for wearing a short dress to this ceremony, I wish this had more personality.

Worst Dressed

Check out this sad towel that is making Lo Bosworth’s boobs even sadder.

This lumpy red gown is doing weird things to the Gwendoline Christie’s body. She is so tall and could wear so many things that many actresses could not!

I just want Jennifer Aniston to do SOMETHING to her hair. Anything. And wear a dress that actually surprises me by being actually fantastic.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This dress is attractive on no one. I would not even let Sofia Vergara wear this.

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