Smart ladies love fashion, Punk: Chaos to Couture 2013 Met Gala

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The Met Gala was last night and TOO FUCKING MANY PEOPLE went, this is a smattering or a deluge depending on how much you love fashion.

Jessica Alba, Tory Burch

A bun is not punk rock! The theme for the evening ladies is punk and couture! -K

I hope Brad Goreski is not responsible for this. -M

Elizabeth Banks

This isn’t boring so that’s good but I think I might be on outfit overload. Points for it kind of being themed. -K

I think I am ok with this? The shoes look a little Tarzan, though. -M

Beyoncé, Givenchy

Beyoncé and Kerry Washington wore gloves, I saw Kerry first so she gets the biggest glove props. I love the train on this but I think Rooney and Madonna wore Givenchy better. -K

The top looks plastic and for some reason this is totally expected and I hate it. -M

Emily Blunt, Carolina Herrera

BORING. -K

SUPER HOTT DATE. A+. -M

Kate Bosworth

She looks like punk rock Barbie, that’s a good thing coming from me! -K

I think this accentuates how fucking skinny she is and the shoes are THE WORST but I like the belt and long sleeves! -M

Lily Collins, Moschino

I’m so tired. Can there be such a thing as too many clothes. Her eyebrows are amazing. -K

Miley Cyrus, Marc Jacobs

Well her hair is certainly interesting but that dress is fug. This is what a child would wear for Halloween if they were given the theme of the Met Gala. -K

I don’t like how Miley wears clothes AT ALL. I want to slap her for that hair. Not punk at all, just dumb. -M

Cameron Diaz

Wasn’t going to include her but she has on a cape and spikes on her belt. -K

I love a cape, always. The color is good too but this should have been worn to an awards show. -M

Lena Dunham, Erdem

Best. She. Has. Ever. Looked! -K

Agreed! I am so impressed. It fits her well, it’s flattering, it’s fun even though it’s black. Plus her hair is super cute. -M

Nina Dobrev, Monique Lhuillier

At least Nina looks 80s, punk, and like she is in couture (I take themes very literally). -K

I hate this girl and have never liked her in anything because she always makes couture look trashy CW. This, however, is already trashy and I love it. -M

Kirsten Dunst, Louis Vuitton

Points for lipstick. Points for the top being like a tie. Points for feathers. I hate the color though. -K

I am so disappointed in you, Kiki. You are usually one of my favorites and you pick such hip things but this makes me so sad. You don’t even look happy to be there. -M

Dakota Fanning, Rodarte

Dakota, I do not like all the skin (when did I become so old, but to me Dakota is still a child). -K

I love how the side is bedazzled and I generally love this but I need some lipstick. -M

Elle Fanning, Rodarte

I just blew this picture up and the white part on her dress looks like a bib (or more specifically the towel my grandmother wears around her neck to eat so as to not mess up her nice tops, once seen it cannot be unseen). I give her points for the color coordination. -K

This is so weird and her makeup is amazing. I was kinda meh on this collection but she rocks the shit out of it, even though she’s less than half my age. That is so depressing. -M

Ginnifer Goodwin, Tory Burch

I love the dress and her hair is always refreshing but I think they went a little too heavy on the eye make-up. -K

I saw a close up of that eye make up on Twitter and it’s completely horrifying. The dress is pretty cool for being Tory Burch. Is that a compliment? -M

Naomie Harris, Donna Karan Atelier

I love this with my whole heart. No it doesn’t exactly say punk but who fucking cares it’s so pretty! -K

Katie LOVES PURPLE. I wish the dark part started higher. Pretty? I am tired already. -M

Anne Hathaway, Valentino

I like this so much better than her Oscar look, plus I love that she went blond. -K

TOO MUCH SIDEBOOB. Does she have a new stylist because this is the opposite of Rachel Zoe’s tastes. -M

Amber Heard, Emilio Pucci

Amber Heard is officially the most boring person here. This is the same fucking dress and styling she does all the time. -K

I hate this and this woman bores me all the time. She didn’t even try to dress within the theme. -M

Bella Heathcote, Chanel Couture

I love this Bella Heathcote (she was in Dark Shadows), she is always a little bit young, a little bit edgy and a whole lot lovely (look at that eyeliner). -K

This is absolutely one of my favorite looks. It is adorable and she is so pretty I could die. She was in Not Fade Away too, which I can’t really recommend but maybe on cable. -M

Katie Holmes, Calvin Klein Collection

I should watch her walk in this cause I’m unsure if it is fitted or a sack and I hate sacks of fabric. Her face looks lovely. -K

No. more. sacks. It’s my red carpet mantra. -M

Julianne Hough, Topshop

Ummmmm, I love the shoes but the dress looks cheap and I like the concept of her hair but not the execution but I still love you Julianne! -K

It does look cheap, which is a shame since Nicole Richie’s Topshop look was totally luxe. At least she tried which is more than I could say for most of these losers. -M

January Jones, Chanel Couture

Love the shoes, love the short skirt, love the bat shit crazy eyes! -K

THIS is what I’m talking about. She looks crazy. I dig that. -M

Mindy Kaling

I love the purple dress with the turquoise clutch. Also I am so sick of seeing heavy eyeliner as a way to say “punk.” -K

This might be the best she’s ever looked. Did she and Lena get the same stylist, and will he or she help me for a (very) small fee? -M

Minka Kelly, Carolina Herrera

Love the color combination and Minka Kelly is such a lovely girl but the fit is off (it’s a tad too small, especially in the chest). -K

This reminds me of very fug outfits I would dress my dolls in, back in 1983. -M

Jamie King, Topshop

I would not have included this had she not had the gold crown,that gold crown looks cheap in small photos (like Christmas decorations) but kind of badass in close ups (it’s gold spikes). -K

I appreciate pants always. Lemon’s hair is gorgeous. -M

Solange Knowles, Kenzo

Love those earrings and I LOVE the color! -K

There was no question that Solange was going to completely rule at the Met Gala. A billion times better than her sister and will be talked about 1/10th as much. -M

Diane Kruger, Chanel Couture

I wish this was a better photo but this is it. Her hair is tipped pink (LOVE), She has dark make-up but it is not HEAVY AS FUCK. Also she has Pacey! Love you Krug. -K

Ohhhh I like the idea of her with dyed hair but I wish she did the whole thing. Pacey looks hott. -M

Jennifer Lawrence

Everyone’s favorite BFF is not very punk but I love when ladies wear veils and I am very tired, also she had such a good time touching SJP’s hat. -K

I need a nap. -M

Jennifer Lopez, Michael Kors

Animal print is not punk rock. I am totally on outfit overload. -K

Animal print is totally punk rock, Katie, but only on weird old lady coats and cat ear accessories, not on high neck middle age lady dresses. -M

Madonna, Givenchy

YAY THEME!!! Love it. -K

This is perfection. The hair is so, so good and I will take those shoes right now, kaythanks. -M

Kate Mara, Delpozo

I love that it has a short skirt and that it matches her sister’s lipstick. I do however wish that she had on jewelry and lipstick! -K

She is usually so good! Disappointing. -M

Rooney Mara, Givenchy

I love this more than her Oscar gown from two years ago, the fit is fabulous and I love her light brown hair with the dark lippy and toe nail polish. -K

BOW DOWN TO THE QUEEN, BITCHES. -M

Jennifer Morrison, Donna Karan Atelier

Her hair is a faux hawk and all her jewelry is spider themed (PUNK?!?). I hate it because it is BORING! -K

She looks fake, she does not have the attitude to be punk rock. Also I think I hate her but that is neither here nor there. -M

Olsen Twins

Caftans and fancy robes! Plus there hair is the same again so that you can’t tell them apart. -K

Mary Kate = HOMELESS DAISY BUCHANAN. Ashley (well both of them) thought the theme was “dress like your crazy drunk granny.” -M

Gwyneth Paltrow, Valentino

This is a pink sack and not at all punk, it makes me sad. Sadly played, Gwyneth, sadly played. -K

My least favorite. If she’s done with the dress I’d like to use it to make curtains. -M

Jessica Pare, Jason Wu

LOVE ALL OF THE BLUE! -K

Jessica looks fab, the dress over pants is totally weird and the hair and makeup are perfection. She/her stylist does a great job. -M

Aubrey Plaza

I feel that this is very punk, it’s short, it’s rough, it’s not pretty but it’s beautiful, good job Aubrey! -K

Those shoes remind me of my grandmother. -M

Sarah Jessica Parker, Giles and Philip Treacy headpiece

That hat is FUCKING PUNK ROCK, mother fuckers! -K

She is such a fashion badass. Apparently she is wearing thigh high satin boots. BOOM. -M

Vanessa Redgrave, Joely Richardson and Daisy Bevan, Carolina Herrera

This is one insanely good looking family, I wish we had a better shot of Daisy’s dress. -K

Daisy’s dress AND shoes are fantastic! I had no idea she existed until now. -M

Christina Ricci, Vivienne Westwood

I would have loved this ‘Ska’ look had she omitted the pantyhose. -K

That hose: no, honey, no. And I hate those shoes for this. Why can’t anyone get some platforms or shoes with some fucking spikes? WTF? -M

Nicole Richie, Topshop

I would like this better if her dress weren’t ivory and her hair wasn’t snow white/grey, it doesn’t match and is distracting. -K

She looks so classy but that hair looks like paint. I like a good bleached white punk chop as much as anyone, which I think is what she was going for, but she did not commit. -M

Emmy Rossum, Donna Karan Atelier

I like the eyeliner but am bored by the rest. -K

So not punk.  My punk rock sisters and I would have made fun of you in high school. -M

Chloe Sevigny

TURBAN (that is all)! -K

Once I found a turban in an antique mall and it was beautiful and $15 and Katie wouldn’t let me buy it. I wish I had that turban. Sigh. Chloe should give me hers. -M

Amanda Seyfried

Very dramatic and Gothic but I am on the fence, Melissa does it appear to be too big? -K

It does look too big and I don’t like the color, it reminds me of a moth. -M

Hailee Steinfeld, Donna Karan Atelier

This is adorable and age appropriate and punk rock (well kind of) as the gold star-bursts are made out of safety pins (I am trying to find the theme in everything). -K

I don’t know about the hair but she looks amazing and if this dress was 6 sizes bigger I would make her give it to me.

Taylor Swift

A punk rock T-Swift is an angry T-swift. The hilarious thing is that I would love this on Rooney Mara but on T-Swift I find it horrible. -K

She should stick to what she’s good at. She would have looked better in something like Hailee’s. -M

Uma Thurman

I love the color but there are elements of this dress that should have been omitted like the shoulder bows. Word to celebs, just say NO to the shoulder bow. -K

Too much going on, NOT PUNK. -M

Kerry Washington, Vera Wang

Lets all thank the high heavens that Kerry wore gloves to a gala cause that’s what one should do! Also this dress is GORGEOUS  it’s my favorite color purple and it’s a pattern. -K

Kerry and Rooney showed everyone else up. I kind of wish the gloves were fingerless, in a nod to punk, but Kerry looks stunning. I can’t wait for her outfits at the premieres of that Peeples movie. -M

6 Comments

  1. Is it me or has Uma had some serious face work?

    SJP and Rooney are my favorites by far- not too costumey, not too “Oh this isn’t the Oscars?”

    • Uma looks like a completely different person. I can’t even think of anything she’s been in lately. I just watched Pulp Fiction and it make me miss her.

      Why WERE there so many awards show-type dresses? I don’t know what these stylists were thinking.

      • I think Uma gained a lot of weight from her last pregnancy and her face is just fuller. I just watched Kill Bill and her face was so thin in those movies (I love Uma so I might be in denial but that happened to a lady I worked with).

        Also you would think that people would have fun with this instead of wearing all the same tired crap, I’m looking at you Jessica Alba and Emily Blunt.

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