Last night, an organization gave country stars a bunch of meaningless awards. Well, I think the CMAs are like the country Grammys, but they’re no Grammys, you know?
Anyway, I didn’t watch the whole show because I go to bed at old lady o’clock but I declare Zac Brown Band as the best performance and Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley’s attempts at acting the worst.
I wish awards shows were every week. That’s how much I love doing these posts!
(Don’t remember the difference between the CMAs and ACMs? See this post, which includes a helpful chart!)
Thank goodness for Carrie Underwood. She usually picks something more sparkly for the ol’ rc, but this gown is such a beautiful color and her boobs look great. Sometimes I think peplums are here to stay. Sigh.
I LOVE PEPLUMS! I also love coral and NOW I really want to dye my hair blond (FYI dying my hair is impossible it just gets lighter red). -K
Lady Antebellum, best dressed country group ever.
I want her dress. Go female Lady Antebellum person! -K
YOWZA, newly single Miranda Lambert is killing it with the sleek black dress, pink hair, and dark nails. I don’t think I have ever seen her look better.
This is the best Fuck You dress to Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. GO MIRANDA! Melissa now that they have made it official you will have to let me know if it gets weird on The Voice. -K
Ashley Monroe is totally giving us 70s disco realness mixed with heavy goth eye makeup and I am totally buying it.
I love her face and hair. I am less enthused by the dress. Her shoes are adorbs. Also not only do I know Ashley Monroe but I actually own and listen to an album by her. -K
Band Perry is the runner up for best dressed group. I wish they’d show slightly more personality.
I just learned in People that they are siblings. Are these the new Jonases and if that’s the case which one is the gay one? -K
I love Erika Christensen’s (now on Wicked City, which is still on my DVR) whole look: the top knot, simple makeup, and gorgeous blue ruffled dress.
The color and hair are stunning! -K
Why aren’t there more teens in country music? I hope there’s room for Nashville’s Lennon and Maisy Stella.
I love how punk rock they look. -K
Last person I thought I’d see at the CMAs: soccer player Megan Rapinoe. I LOVE that she has a strong point of view.
That tie is AMAZING! I also enjoy her pant length. I wish I was tall. -K
These ladies (Lori McKenna, Liz Rose, and Hillary Lindsey) wrote Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush,” one of the best popular country songs I’ve heard in ages and for that they deserve to be best dressed. Hillary has a really impressive wiki page of songs she’s written. GO LADIES!!!
I love that lavender gown! -K
Think Aubrey Peeples has forgotten she was in Jem? Most of America has already. I like her edgy hair.
GO LAYLA! -K
Lauren Alaina, a former American Idol contestant (the Scotty Mcreery season), grew up well! The hair is fine for this event, but she just needs some lip color.
I really love the pattern of her dress. -K
Jennifer Nettles has always been the most high fashion country queen, and while she looks lovely, the cutout is completely unnecessary and the dress would look better with just a plunging neckline.
Does she age? -K
Cutest Couples Alert
I have seen Shawna Thompson’s (of Thompson Square) dress a bunch before but she is a super cute pregnant lady and I ADORE her wavy bob. Keifer there looks great too. Plus they make cute videos.
I love silver sparkly gowns like this and sleeves. -K
I did not recognize Kacey Musgraves at all from the thumbnail! This color is stunning on her. The dude, Misa Arriaga, is her guitar player, who she is currently dating. They could be the cutest couple but they do not star in Sonny and Cher videos yet. Maybe soon.
Us Weekly would not approve of their body language in this picture. Kasey looks fucking FAB. I love her so much! -K
Trisha and Garth, forever.
My mom loves her show on the Food Network. -K
I am not familiar with singer Craig Morgan, who looks decent despite buttoning every last button on his jacket, or his wife Karen, but PATTERNED BALL GOWN. I wish she had done something with her hair.
AND IT’S PURPLE! -K
Fine Country Fellas
Dierks Bentley wins this category every time! He just can’t help getting it exactly right, I guess.
His pants are perfect! -K
Patterned tux jacket, perfectly hemmed pants AND brown shoes? If only Chase Bryant had buttoned one more button! SO CLOSE.
I want that jacket. -K
I wonder if Sam Hunt gets tired of being the hottest guy in country music. Probably not.
SWEET HAT, Dustin Lynch.
I love the blue shirt. -K
Does Justin Timberlake think this is what people wear to country awards shows? He’s kind of right, I guess, but I expected better.
I didn’t even recognize him. -K
Brian Collins’ necklace is totally fug, but I am realizing that I want more vests in my life.
His necklace should date Scarlet’s necklace on Nashville. -K
I enjoy Chris Stapleton’s country mountain man thing.
I love that woman’s hair. -K
The color of Darius Rucker’s suit is truly beautiful. He also did a great job as a stormtrooper in the awful opening of the show full of horrendous acting, a nod to the outrage over John Boyega wearing the suit in the Force Awakens preview.
I love the color I just wish the jacket was a tad bigger. -K
I didn’t know who Easton Corbin was until I googled him (he sings “Baby Be My Love Song,” which is terrible), but before that, he was the relative of Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Patrick Corbin. In my head. His suit fits well.
Is it wet? He looks like Jonathan Groff. -K
I genuinely like most of Granger Smith’s outfit, but the hat seems dated and out of place here.
I love his dates dress. -K
I think this is just ok, but Meghan Linsey was BY FAR the best dressed of everyone there from The Voice (see below). She also did “Girl Crush” last season and nailed it.
I think if the bottom was not velvet I would love this. The sparkly top is very cute. -K
The “pretty dress, sorry about that hair” award goes to Hayley Orrantia, who is on The Goldbergs, a show I do not watch but is on ABC like the CMAs… SYNERGY!
I love this dress. That hair makes me so sad and she needs lipstick. -K
I pretty much hate this, but I wanted to share some Jana Kramer Fun Facts for you:
- She was on One Tree Hill.
- Her second marriage (!!) was to Jonathan Schaech from That Thing You Do!
- She dated country star Brantley Gilbert for a short time.
- She is now married to a tight end (woooooo!) for the Redskins (booooo!) and is obviously pregnant.
- Since OTH, she has put out two records. The second one, released this summer, has sold 23,000 copies according to Wikipedia, which is not very good.
How old is she? Also this is the worst. -K
Jewel has been rocking this look for twenty years, which I guess is ok because she looks good, but I AM SO BORED.
Her shoes might be cute??? -K
Cam picked a fabulous color but the nude lining renders this dress flat and lifeless. Her make up also looks a bit heavy.
I hate when the lining ruins a dress. -K
Kimberly Williams-Paisley’s dress is too juvenile, and her hair is calling out to be a bob again, but I like her weird-ass shoes.
Her dress is also causing sloop boob. -K
This is good for Kellie Pickler, but her boobs look so uncomfortable. I also wish this had teeny ballet straps, I don’t know why.
MEH. (I do love the color –PURPLE 4EVA!) -K
Little Big Town needs to coordinate their outfits better. They don’t even look like they would know each other.
I am so over SHEER! -K
Worst Dressed- The Voice Edition
They get their own category because they are all so bad.
Hey, Cassadee Pope won The Voice once! Unfortunately, I can’t say anything else about her because this was the first look I pulled and I am trying to be nicer this year. Surely, this won’t last.
She looks like she was attacked by a shredder. -K
Former Voice contestants, I want you to do better! RaeLynn’s hair is depressing and her boobs fit in this dress strangely. DIE, HI-LOW HEMS, DIE.
If only the top were fitted better and the whole bottom was knee length without the ruffle. -K
Danielle Bradbery, who I think just played a bar in the middle of the day in Richmond last week–she was once on Hart of Dixie! Oh how the mighty have fallen!–might have been going somewhere nice with the top of this dress, but she loses me with all the cheap crap at the bottom.
FUCK SHEER! Man I am really mean tonight, I blame Your’re the Worst it made me cry. -K
Just when I learned to accept my hatred of Florida Georgia Line, along come LoCash Cowboys (what is THAT NAME?), making FGL look downright classy.
WHY? WHO? WHAT? I hate everything. -K
Douchebro country bands are multiplying! This is Brothers Osborne and they think they look really cool.
Ginger beard’s pants are very tight it makes me uncomfortable. -K
UGH the wash on Tracy Lawrence’s jeans! I didn’t think people wore shit like that in real life.
Is he wearing three types of denim to an awards show? -K
(L-R): AWESOME, boring as fuck, unnecessary scarf.
What is up with boring as fuck’s shoes? Are unnecessary scarf’s pants wet? Was it raining on the red carpet? I am NOT okay with this wet look! -K
I appreciate you, Steven Tyler. I really do.