So SLLS’ favorite viking vampire Alexander Skarsgard has made a video with the Australian Indie-Electro-Pop band Cut Copy in which he plays JESUS SWEDE (new band name, you’re welcome), your friendly neighborhood vineyard owning cult leader –FUCK YES!
So grab a friend…
And your favorite beverage…
And read my JESUS SWEDE gif-tastic FAN FICTION…The Ballad of Jesus Swede, Jill and that Bearded Bastard Raoul.
HEY BUDDY YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!
As the leader of your very own wine themed cult you must inspect your vineyards and your vegetable fields (no self-respecting cult leader buys vegetables at the store).
You drink your daily glass of Metamucil (vitamin enriched) while one of your disciples washes your tootsies. It’s unfortunate nobody thought to wash your hair.
You take a pee while your assistant cult leader Patty makes sure everything is cool with the plumbing.
You flashback to that time in the mountains of Sweden when you almost burned to death but you were saved by Patty.
“Thanks Patty you really saved my bacon. Let’s go find out what everyone else is doing.”
“Well, most of our followers are playing a rousing game of duck, duck, goose, some are playing basketball, and that shifty beardy fellow Raoul is meditating with Steve. Also you need to baptize Jill at noon.”
“I do love a good baptism. I used to be Aegir the God of the sea.”
“Yes sir and I was Ran your sea goddess.”
“Duck, duck, goose was invigorating, let’s play basketball, Patty!’
“Let’s roll Patty, I got shit to do and I need to fuck with that bastard Raoul.”
Whispers, “You’re going to die.”
Nothing more pleasurable than a baptism.
“I think I need a nap.”
“No Patrice! I need a nap!”
“JILL! NOT RAOUL!”
Silence…Raoul is listening to Latin American musician Juanes.
“I’m so sad I need to eat my pain!”
“Do you want to make out, my hair might look gross but it can’t be as gross as Raoul’s beard.”
“I am watching you Raoul.”
“PATTY! I’m out of here!”
Here is the real video in all its glory, but let’s be honest you will never forget RAOUL, that creepy bearded bastard! Incidentally, the song is quite good.
And with that, kids, I’m done!
Gifs and photos courtesy of the brilliant people behind these blogs, wearecutcopy, skarsgardalexander, mookie-30, henricavyll, noradrenaline, mygloombeauty, a-jhskarsgard, spygirl1129, skarsjoy and deerwaves.