Smart ladies love movies, this week in trailers, July 1, 2015

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Movie Trailer Monday

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of! [Note: Katie is on a cross-country road trip I am EXTREMELY jealous of. This post is extremely late because it was my birthday this weekend and I was busy crying into my fried food and cake. -M]

Notable movies coming out this weekend

Magic Mike XXL

WHATEVER. You know you are going to watch this, do not pretend. [I like when they show him sanding a metal penis, and then they ruined it by showing what little plot there is. I hope Childish Gambino is in a Spiderman costume when he strips down to his Peter Parkers. -PJ]

Into the Grizzly Maze is out onDemand and for rent

James Marsden + Billy Bob Thornton + KILLER BEAR. “This bear is not territorial or hungry. It’s pissed off. When a grizzly gets angry, all of you taste the same”: words of wisdom from Douglass (Billy Bob). [I’m really tired of that epic chorus played in all movies– it would be way creepier if they used less dramatic arrangements. -PJ]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

Ten Thousand Saints, August 14, 2015

Directed by the husband & wife team behind American Splendor, Ten Thousand Saints stars Asa Butterfield as a kid in the 80s who loves hardcore and moves to New York with his cool dad (Ethan Hawke). Emile Hirsch is also in this, which is good because Katie and I can never remember what he’s been in recently. [Did you like Boyhood? Do you not want to wait ten more years for another movie? Watch Ten Thousand Saints! -PJ]

Grandma, August 21, 2015

Lily Tomlin, who plays a sassy old lady, tries to raise money for her granddaughter’s abortion. There are so many SLLS faves in it, like Judy Greer, John Cho, Sam Elliott and Elizabeth Pena (RIP), who I loved in this show called I Married Dora (Dora was the maid, OF COURSE) as a kid but I realize is probably racist now. [Will I see this movie? Depends. -PJ]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

Meet Me in Montenegro, July 10, 2015

This seems like a white dude fantasy, and I am so sick of those right now. It’s also the romantic version of Boyhood, filmed over four years. But, Rupert Friend in a silly hat! I know, I can’t get too excited about it either, but Katie and I will see this when it arrives on cable with some wine. [So he takes a leap of faith? Mmmkay. If you didn’t get the symbolism, we spelled it out several times for you in this trailer. -PJ]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

6 Ways to Die, July 31, 2015

It’s probably not a good sign that this movie’s biggest star is Vivica A. Fox. [The seventh way is to watch this trailer. -PJ]

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