Smart ladies love movies, this week in trailers, April 7, 2014

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Movie Trailer Mondays

XMen_PatrickStewartandIanMcKellen

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

Notable movies coming out this week

Only Lovers Left Alive

Draft Day is also opening this weekend BUT I love SWINTON and Tom Hiddleston more than I love JGar and the career resurgence of Kevin Costner (but I do love them enough to mention them AGAIN). The amazing Tilda Swinton and the internet’s boyfriend star in this indie vampire movie –just when I thought I was over vampires Swinton pulls me back in. [There is no chance I will watch this movie but I love the idea of it. SWINTON FOREVER! -M]

Alan Partridge, is out onDemand and for Rent

Back in February we lamented the fact that you can’t watch old episodes of Alan Partridge easily in the States but you can now watch the feature film! [YAY! No theatrical release for us, though. Sadface. -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

X-Men: Days of Future Past, May 23, 2014

I’ve watched this trailer about fifteen times since it came out. I am super stoked for this X-Men extravaganza. When I was in high school and obsessed with the X-Men cartoon, The Days of Future Past episodes were my favorite (I was a big Bishop fan). [I love these X-Men movies, they are cable favorites. January Jones isn’t in this one, is she? YUCK. -M]

Lucy, August 8, 2014

ScarJo is actually becoming more interesting the older she gets and the more times she plays Black Widow, to the point in which I not only think I will like a ScarJo fronted film but can’t WAIT to see a ScarJo fronted film (I don’t like her enough to stop calling her ScarJo though, but that’s cause I’m an asshole). [I think I have my new summer haircut, but without bangs! I am warming up to her too, maybe it’s the pregnancy and the fact that I feel bad there isn’t a voice acting category in the Oscars. -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, May 23, 2014

I’m a big fan of a restrained Robin Williams. I am also a big fan of a disgruntled Peter Dinklage, unhinged Melissa Leo, and Mila Kunis in super sass mode due to some dickface fucking up her day. The only reason this is in “…I can’t wait…” is that I think this will play better on the TV than in a theater. [You are so right, this is definitely perfect for TV! I think it will be enjoyable and fun and look I can’t even say anything bad because that’s what Richard Kind does to me. -M]

Sex Tape, July 25, 2014

Jason Segel is the only reason this isn’t in the “you would have to pay me…” list. It looks like it COULD be funny but I find Cameron Diaz extremely tiresome. I don;t hate her I just find her shtick old like she has been playing the same character from A Life Less Ordinary for over a decade (now I feel old). Also is it me or are we over joking about the cloud like this film dated itself before it was released. [How does this even happen? I don’t think this technology even works that way. Meh, I will watch this on cable to repeatedly ogle Jason Segel in his underwear. -M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

The Signal, June 13, 2014

Add Laurence Fishburne to our increasingly growing list of people who are too good for the projects they choose (though I hear good things about Hannibal). [I was going to say something really mean about how terrible this looks but then I thought, “But the people involved have families! Families who are Googling their movies and don’t want to read bad shit!” WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? -M]

Gif from 1neveroddoreven1.

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