July 14, 2014
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love movies, the week in trailers, July 14, 2014

Movie Trailer Mondays

Snowpiercer

Each week I review movie trailers that came out the previous week or for movies that are about to premiere. Some of these movies I am excited about, some I am mildly curious about, and the rest I make fun of!

Notable movies coming out this week

Boyhood

It’s been a long time since I really thought about Richard Linklater as a visionary filmmaker which is sad because I think I saw Waking Life in the theater (not that I remember it being good but I do remember it being special) and I loved Before Sunrise and Dased and Confused so I’m excited to see Boyhood and that it’s getting good reviews. [We saw Waking Life together! I am looking forward to Boyhood as an experiment, I think everything about it is fascinating. -M]

Snowpiercer, is out onDemand and for Rent

I watched Snowpiercer this weekend onDemand. It is fantastic and well worth the $7.99 I paid for it. I also got to drink a shandy and eat a backed potato so YAY onDemand new releases! [This is the only movie people I know are talking about. Therefore I have no interest in it, Chris Evans or not. -M]

Movies I can’t wait to see in an ACTUAL theater

My Old Lady, September 10, 2014

Kevin Cline and Kristen Scott Thomas have excellent chemistry just in this short trailer and even though I’m fairly sure I know where it’s going this still looks delightful. I can not tell you how happy I am that we are finally getting trailers for fall movies. [Kevin Kline, I am so happy to see you. Adorable AND set in Paris. What more could you want? -M]

Wild, December 5, 2014

Reese Witherspoon stars in this movie adaptation of Cheryl Strayed’s memoir (which my mother loved, I haven’t read it because it’s not a comic book). The trailer looks awesome and I’m totally more excited about this now then I was. [Yeah I was surprised at how excellent this trailer is! I actually might see this. I like when movies based on books keep narration because it allows the main character to retain an inner life. -M]

I won’t go to an ACTUAL theater but will pay for it on Amazon

Love is Strange, August 22, 2014

This movie looks delightful but I think it will play better on the TV than in a theater. I’m also SO EXCITED that Darren Burrows from Northern Exposure is in something CURRENT! [Awwww so sweet! I know I'm pretty mean about shit on here but touching family dramas like this are movies that I truly love and are long lasting. More like this! -M]

Unbroken, December 25, 2014

Angelina Jolie made this movie about a man who survives a brutal Japanese POW camp. It looks fantastic. I will enjoy it better sobbing in my own home. [Also, the cinematography looks excellent. I will not watch this around other people, too much ugly sobbing. -M]

You would have to PAY me to see it in an ACTUAL theater

Exodus: Gods and Kings

Too many white people playing Egyptians. When the movie from the 50′s, The Ten Commandments (which I have seen more than once –thanks Catholic grandparents) did a better job of finding a minority to play Pharaoh Rameses II (Yul Bryner who was part Mongolian and Russian and basically the go-to brown person in films of the 50′s) than a movie made in 2014 in which there are countless talented people from Egypt that’s problematic and irritating. ALSO I don’t buy Christian Bale as fucking Moses (sadly you become a fan of Charlton Heston’s gravitas when you watch The Ten Commandments back-to-back with Ben-Hur). Maybe I just don’t have any interest in this because it reminds me of religious movies from the fifties. Nope it’s because Joel Edgerton is NOT even close to being a person from North Africa or the Middle East. [If you are not going to hire actual Egyptians for these movies, JUST DON'T MAKE THEM. Film is a worldwide business and there are actors in every fucking country, even Egypt. I just can't anymore. SO. TIRED. -M]


Gif from francoisarnaud.

July 14, 2014
by katie
1 Comment

Smart ladies love dumb TV, True Blood recap, Death is not the End

TrueBlood_EricandGINGER

Previously on True Blood, Alcide died –I MISS HIS ABS!!! Faves Eric and Pam decided to go after Sarah Newlin (the always awesome Anna Camp). Lafayette and James listened to funk and got high –they are truly my favorites as that is what I would do if there were crazy people with guns and/or fangs out at night.

This week in Beyoncé

Bey did “Flawless,” a song that launched a thousand billion “I woke up like this” memes. It also has a dance associated with it and the video is a series very strong, memorable images. Bey’s outfit mimicked the one she wore in the video, a plaid shirt and short shorts (leather of course), but she made it sparkly because she is the center of fucking attention. Her dancers also wore plaid shirts around their waists, but with words across their asses. Classy.

So since the video is so memorable and includes words of wisdom about feminism from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (you should read Americanah already) that are not in this live performance, the audience was going nuts for the song. We were given insight into how everyone dances in their bedrooms to this song because the director kept cutting to the audience making ugly “super into it” faces usually reserved for dancing alone in their bedrooms, not that I know anything about that at all. If I was in this video I’d be royally pissed.

I also watched True Blood this week, even though I had no idea what was going on! -M

This week in Bon Temps…

TrueBlood_EP04_Pam

  • Jason and Sookie call Alcide’s dad and Hoyt that Alcide and Maxine are dead. Ryan Kwanten kills it in his scene with Hoyt (who was his best-friend before Jessica glamoured him into not remembering them).
  • This episode has so many people from the past, HOYT, John Doggit AKA Alcide’s dad, and the magister.
  • I’m so glad that Pam and Eric were forced to move to Shreveport as I could never see them living there of their own free will. I love how unhappy they look when they are told the video store is all theirs. [The fact that they are ageless vampires--right??--makes flashbacks so fun because they don't have to make them look young or anything. -M]

TrueBlood_OHGOD TrueBlood_IMSORRY

  • Sookie gives Arlene’s kids a pep-talk. She also goes to read Holly’s mind to find out where the hostages are. EVERYONE IS IN THE VAMPIRE BAR! THE VAMPIRE BAR! FINALLY you fucking nitwits. Poor Holly has to be re-traumatized just so they can find out that the vampires are hiding out in the most obvious place under the fucking sun.
  • Sam wants to go to Fangtasia in the daytime but everyone wants to wait till night –I guess so that Bill and the other non-sick vamps can help.
  • Jessica won’t eat so Sookie tells her to shut the fuck up and if she won’t feed off of her then she will feed off Lafayette. [He was in one teeny tiny scene. What a bunch of crap. -M]
  • I wish the past 7 seasons had just been about Pam and Eric running a video store. I love how Eric and Pam met Ginger who of course loved vampire movies. Also Eric’s nineties wig is the best ever he looks like Brandon from 90210.
TrueBlood_EP04_90210Eric

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  • This episode is one part people telling other people their loved ones are dead, and the other part Pam and Eric being awesome in awesome wigs. [Which part do you think I liked more? HAHAHAHA. Pam is the best. -M]
  • Sookie feeds Bill. Jessica is so whiny this episode it makes me want to throw something at the TV. Lafayette puts her straight because he is seriously the only person on this show with any fucking sense.
  • Ginger, who is the BEST ever, gave Eric his throne and came up with the idea for Fangtasia. Pam glamoured the memory of the idea away from her and told Eric it was her idea. Eric calls Pam a bitch and it’s sweet. Seriously why is this show not these two being awesome in funny wigs.
  • Eric to Bill “Pam says you wrote a book in which you claim to not be an asshole anymore” is classic Eric! Though I would venture that Bill is still an asshole. Everyone is sad Eric is sick. I’m sad Eric is sick.

TrueBlood_EP04_wroteabook TrueBlood_EP04_wroteabook_2

  • Eric and Sookie is the worst. Eric and Pam is the best. Angry Willa is funny. That is basically how I feel about the whole scene at Bills house.
  • Sookie’s magic fairy vagina convinces Eric to force Pam and poor Willa to join the gang to save Arlene, Nicole, and town drunk Jane Bodehouse. [I love that she's the town drunk! I knew something was wrong with her. -M]
Sookieyourvaginaisglowing

Remember that one time it glowed?

  • Eric too sick to break the wall is sad, even worse is Bill breaking it instead of him. Pam telling Bill that Sookie will never love him is great and sadly probably not true based on the direction of this season. Sookie you and I have a love hate relationship but I will really hate you if you end up with Bill. I really want Sookie to end up alone and not being fought over like meat.
  • Eric, Sookie, and the rest of our team are trying to stealthily save Arlene but the stupid mob of townspeople are also trying to take out the vamps of Fangtasia –those motherfuckers should fucking die. Arlene gets to say goodbye to Terry because this episode is basically the ghosts of guest-stars past.
DON'T DIE ARLENE!!!

DON’T DIE ARLENE!!!

  • Our vampire team are able to kill off the bad zombie vamps and it looks like most of the crazy townsfolk mob (oh thank god). Sookie saves Arlene or rather Eric sends in a non-infected vamp to save Arlene.
  • Eric gives Sookie sad eyes that are basically “I’m leaving you forever. Have a good life. Don’t end up with Bill as that’s lame”. Eric and I have the same feelings regarding Sookie.
  • If the show killed off the dumb townspeople AND the zombie vamps who is the new big bad (I assume they won’t follow Pam and Eric on the quest to kill Sarah Newlin).

TrueBlood_EP04_08

The Good

GINGER I LOVE YOU!!!

GINGER I LOVE YOU!!!

Pam and Eric and all the wigs are the best ever. Also any episode with Ginger is divine.

The Bad

GROSS!

GROSS!

Sookie and Eric and their sad looks of love made me roll my eyes for Pam who was outside. Eric sick is so sad. Don’t die Eric, we need you!

TrueBlood_PAMThe WTF?

Apparently this was the episode that they decided to bring back all of the fan favorites. Most shows do this in their final season but usually spread it out True Blood decided to go whole hog and do it in one episode OR every episode will be like this since we have had SO many fucking guest stars.

Next week kids I think we get more Pam and Eric in funny wigs and maybe a cowboy HAT!

Stills and gifs from HBO, vampire-blondiemarvelandwhimsyaskarsswedishmeatballsskarsgardfansloinsofdoomblueletter, and furstevessake.

July 11, 2014
by katie
0 comments

Smart ladies love dumb TV, Hemlock Grove season 2 premiere, Blood Pressure, LIVE

 

HemlockGroveSeason2

Previously on Hemlock Grove, Roman learned he was an Upir (fancy vampire), Peter left Hemlock Grove for greener pastures (but he’ll be back because he is one half of the dynamic duo and the show is called Hemlock Grove), Olivia was on her way to the morgue (she is a fancy vampire, she can’t die), Shelley was missing (come back glowworm –every time I type that I sing this song), Norman left his wife and Olivia swiftly sent him to bed (hopefully he showered first) and presumably Johann is off doing dictation somewhere while sipping a pimm’s cup and playing baccarat.

Want MORE Hemlock Grove click here to go to our recap of Season 2 episodes 2-4.

melissa, 08:01:10 PM

TESTING. Oh yay another season of yellow tint! WOOO

katie, 08:02:51 PM

Why are we in Massachusetts instead of Pennsylvania? I hope I selected the right show.

katie, 08:03:47 PM

I hate creepy masks. I find them both frightening and hilarious at the same time.

melissa, 08:03:54 PM

Oh the old angel candle + gas stove thing.

katie, 08:05:00 PM

Destinay AND Johann have both made the credits. This season is already better than season 1.

melissa, 08:05:13 PM

Now Ohio? What the fuck is going on? Though I do want to go to this party.

melissa, 08:06:23 PM

I’m 100% on board with more Destiny and Johann. I do not pay attention to the credits because that’s time for me to talk shit about True Detective on facebook.

melissa, 08:07:28 PM

Of COURSE they’re going to Seattle. Peter will fit in there, it’s very Twlight-y.

katie, 08:07:32 PM

Seattle > Hemlock Grove

katie, 08:08:00 PM

LYNDA!

melissa, 08:08:52 PM

Hey new love interest for Destiny! So much more interesting than Letha and Peter.

katie, 08:10:14 PM

Poor sad Peter.

melissa, 08:10:30 PM

STOP CRYING OVER LETHA, YOU WUSS.

katie, 08:10:35 PM

Boy his hair grew fast if he is still grieving Letha.

katie, 08:11:55 PM

Letha wasn’t even interesting at least Roman was mourning Shelley and Peter, people of substance.

melissa, 08:11:58 PM

I love that Destiny and that dude are fucking already. OF COURSE.

melissa, 08:12:35 PM

NAKED DUDE BUTTTTTT!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

katie, 08:13:31 PM

OH NOES NOT LYNDA!!! Somewhere Dougray Scott is lamenting not having Lili Taylor’s agent.

melissa, 08:13:35 PM

HAHAHHAHA all of Lynda’s charges are HILARIOUS.

melissa, 08:14:37 PM

“The judge is a twat.” This show is fucking better already.

katie, 08:14:49 PM

I dig Peter’s hat –FANCY! I actually laughed at the circus clown line. Also the lawyer said twat –LOVE IT!

katie, 08:15:44 PM

ASK ROMAN??? Roman is so sad without you Peter.

melissa, 08:15:53 PM

I wish this was a wacy road trip with Peter and Destiny. Maybe that guy she was fucking would show up in random places. I would watch that.

katie, 08:16:29 PM

BAD CGI!

melissa, 08:16:59 PM

Oh Roman is much better not in high school. I think the high school thing dragged the show down.

melissa, 08:17:16 PM

His accent is worse this season, though.

katie, 08:17:22 PM

Roman needs friends.

katie, 08:18:31 PM

His accent sounds like a Swede trying to talk like a  New Yorker.

melissa, 08:18:34 PM

ROMAN VS JOHANN. AWWW YEAH. The corporation should be the big bad.

katie, 08:19:30 PM

Johann is my favorite.

katie, 08:20:19 PM

I miss Roman’s red Jag. It was so pretty.

melissa, 08:21:17 PM

Roman needs other rich bachelor friends. Make this into Gossip Girl!

melissa, 08:21:54 PM

hahahha her bad accent is gone! that was so smart, to make it a part of the story. Also she is wearing black, not white.

katie, 08:22:22 PM

I kind of miss Olivia’s weird accent from last season.

katie, 08:23:00 PM

Roman and Chuck would be awesome I would watch the shit out of that.

melissa, 08:24:07 PM

EWWWW Roman and this old guy with the leeches, gross. I’m glad he’s spending money. Maybe he can buy Shelley something nice when she returns.

katie, 08:24:13 PM

Ewwww leeches.

melissa, 08:25:58 PM

I love this modern house but I miss the old mansion with it’s pretty vintage kitchen.

katie, 08:26:11 PM

Oh Roman you so want to hug him.

katie, 08:26:52 PM

Hopefully Olivia will move back to the old house.

katie, 08:27:51 PM

I don’t like Roman’s haircut.

katie, 08:28:13 PM

Norman is so disheveled.

melissa, 08:28:19 PM

This is so funny! I think murder mystery storylines drag shows down.

Also, there have been so many great shots. The cinematography, despite the yellowing, is so fantastic.

melissa, 08:29:02 PM

So Olivia is still in the old mansion? In the greenhouse!

katie, 08:31:20 PM

Norman is such a lapdog.

melissa, 08:31:20 PM

OMG OLIVIA it’s your magic vagina. Norman loves your magic vagina.

katie, 08:31:58 PM

Destiny is too good for a diner.

katie, 08:33:37 PM

Oh Peter never trust white dudes in seedy alleys.

melissa, 08:34:49 PM

I love funny character moments. There’s so much more of that already. Less Letha and Christina helps.

katie, 08:35:03 PM

The Roma came from northern India NOT Egypt.

katie, 08:36:07 PM

This season is infinitely better than last season except for Roman’s hair.

melissa, 08:36:35 PM

EWWW PETER STOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

katie, 08:37:04 PM

Destiny is NOT going to be happy that Peter changed on the wrong moon.

melissa, 08:37:13 PM

OMG this is fucking horrifying.

melissa, 08:39:34 PM

“You two better bounce.” UGH.

katie, 08:39:55 PM

The last time he changed at the wrong moon his face melted off.

melissa, 08:41:39 PM

Oh no Destiny, Peter can’t be a vargulf, that would be the worst.

katie, 08:42:43 PM

Ouroboros has grown up.

katie, 08:44:07 PM

“pussybird” LOVE IT!

melissa, 08:47:22 PM

Oh no Roman looks like he wants to kill me.

katie, 08:47:37 PM

At least that dude got booze.

melissa, 08:48:28 PM

This seems like a completely different show from last season.

katie, 08:48:30 PM

Roman looks like he wants to eat everyone.

katie, 08:49:30 PM

It does seem like a completely different show.

katie, 08:50:32 PM

Get that cute baby out of that rubber room.

melissa, 08:50:46 PM

OMG CUTE BABYYYYYYYYY So much better than a demon. So people are stationed outside the door? Do they feed it? What is going on?

katie, 08:51:16 PM

I hope Shelley is in episode 2.

melissa, 08:52:57 PM

I just spent so much of my time watching season 1, it was the only thing I watched for a week besides sports and Gossip Girl, that it was very jarring to me that the tone and focus of season 2 are so different.

katie, 08:52:57 PM

Thankfully this show improved!!! Come back Tuesday for a recap of episodes 2-4!!!

katie, 08:54:10 PM

I guess the new writing team have done there job. I also like the production values more.

melissa, 08:54:19 PM

I still wish it was more of a procedural somehow, so there could be a focus, but characters hanging out and being funny is ok too.

katie, 08:56:04 PM

I do love a good procedural show!!!

melissa, 08:56:12 PM

Goodnight y’all!

katie, 08:57:46 PM

Bye everyone!!!