February 26, 2015
by melissa

Smart ladies love dumb TV, ranking the top 12 girls on American Idol

Pretty J Lo from last night. Via.

Pretty J Lo from last night. Via.

Today: my completely scientific rankings of the Top 12 girls of season 14. There are only two girls I like enough so far to vote for, though that might change when I see them pick from real songlists and/or sing in front of a live audience.

I will be watching tonight (last night I was at a majorly important college basketball game) and cheering on my favorites. Who do you like?

1. Tyanna Jones

I love quirky teens! This Bey cover was ON FIRE. She was so self-assured and hit every note. My favorite girl right now. [I love her so much! She is TOTALLY my FAVE! -K]

2. Joey Cook

Joey went to VCU, played out in Richmond (with some of my friends, too) and I find her charming and her voice both sultry and strange. I never saw her but I DID see this girl once who is on her YouTube channel. [I adore Joey and her accordion. I want her and Clark to have adorable babies with fraggle legs –FANFICTION! -K]

3. Adanna Duru

Sarina absolutely has a better voice but Adanna posts Tinashe (!!!) covers on YouTube and I am just more drawn to her as an artist. [This video makes me like her so much more (in all honesty, I forgot she was a contestant). -K]

4. Sarina-Joi Crowe

She plays guitar too! Her voice is ridiculously good and I hope she goes far enough this season to help her career. If people don’t vote for her it’s because she comes off a little mature. [I do remember Sarina-Joi because she has tried out for the past four years and her voice is lovely. -K]

5. Maddie Walker

Look, I don’t love her either, but I need a country girl to back in honor of Skylar, my favorite Idol contestant. [SKYLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -K]

6. Shi Scott

My placement of Shi is probably controversial but I just think she’s so pretty. She VLOGS, and according to her username and old videos, her real name is Shaina. She’s memorable, though, which I can’t say for the next three. [So pretty. -K]

7. Katherine Winston

I never remember this girl at all. Maybe she should dye the tips of her hair a bright color? [Who??? – K]

8. Alexis Gomez

WHO? [HAHAHAHAHAH. I made the comment above before I saw this comment by Melissa. I have no clue who this person is either. -K]

9. Lovey James

I remember there IS a Lovey James, but I cannot tell you what she sounds like. Her professional-looking videos have more views than any of the other contestants and all remind me of Rebecca Black. Who is putting money into this crap? Her parents? Based on her music ALONE she should be last but I still don’t dislike her as much as the final three girls. [This video scares me. -K]

10. Jax

Katie will be so mad I didn’t put her last, but she has a nice voice! However, she just needs to grow up, stop wearing camouflage and wash that X off the side of her face. [NEMESIS! -K]

11. Loren Lott

I don’t think there’s any substance in Loren’s performances or songs. She clearly just wants to be famous (she has a demo reel which states she is a singer/actress/model) and her friends and family have been telling her for years she should be a singer/actress/model. [She is very pretty. That is all. -K]

12. Shannon Berthiaume

Just… no. [I always forget about this chick too! The girls are completely forgettable except for the top four. -K]

February 25, 2015
by melissa

Smart ladies love dumb TV, ranking the top 12 boys on American Idol

I feel like this gif is going to be so versatile. Via.

I feel like this gif is going to be so versatile. Via.

Tonight is the night! The Top 12 boys will perform for our votes! Like many others, I think the boys (it feels weird calling a 29 year old a “boy”) are stronger than the girls. Tomorrow, look for my post on the lovely ladies of American Idol.

I am not making predictions here (I am always wrong this early), but ranking the contestants on their previous work and how much I enjoy them.

A lot of these people have auditioned for other shows so going through YouTube videos is a chore. I tried to get non-Idol videos, if possible.

1. Rayvon Owen

Rayvon is from Richmond, so I am biased. He went to the same religious-school-with-a-good-music-program that Melinda Doolittle (and several other season 14 rejects) attended, Belmont University. Not only is he dreamy with a good voice, but he just seems completely profesh and ready to go. Of all the videos I posted here, this is the only one I watched all the way through. [Such a crystal clear voice, so foxy! -K]

2. Savion Wright

Oh Savion, you are are all my Idol hopes and dreams wrapped in one precious package. I think he has a chance to be a huge fan favorite because of his personality and that he is familiar to voters. [We were so crushed when he was not in the top 24 last year. -K]

3. Riley Bria

I really want to dislike this kid, who is 18 and reminds everyone of a tiny Keith Urban, but he has potential and is a great guitar player. He doesn’t seem phony or try-hard. [I keep forgetting he exists but that’s cause he is a child. He does have a nice voice. -K]

4. Clark Beckham

White dudes that sing soul ARE NOT my favorite. But Clark can wail, and for reasons I do not understand, Katie loves to watch his legs when he plays piano. [His legs are like Kermit arms, they are so spindly and frenetic. I shall dub them fraggle legs!-K]

5. Quentin Alexander

I know Quentin is not the best singer, but he is cute and stylish and would probably put out the most interesting album of all the contestants. [I think I might like his personality the best. -K]

6. Mark Andrew

I like that he’s older (29 is like ancient for this show, and above the age cutoff, so he must have gotten in on a technicality), but not that he can’t remember the words to “Skinny Love” and complains about losing sleep because of a baby. [He has a laid back style I dig and reminds me of the dudes I went to college with. -K]

7. Qaasim Middleton

Something about Qaasim bothers me–maybe it’s the Hollywood background (he was on Nick’s Naked Brothers Band, whatever that is) and the fact that he has auditioned for every reality show ever. But his mom is awesome and his performance last week was great! [This kid has talent and apparently really wants to be famous so go forth Qaasim, just stop flirting with Jax she is my nemesis. -K]

8. Trevor Douglas

He annoys the crap out of me and Katie, but teenage girls will love him (more than Daniel I suspect). The role of P2 keeps getting younger and younger! Trevor won a contest called “DFW Icon.” I assume that is “Dallas Fort Worth” but in higher education it’s “drop fail withdrawal.” I actually had Trevor at #7 until I watched the video above. He will be top 5. [I would like him if he sang show tunes. Every year I drive Melissa crazy with my want and desire for these kids to sing show tunes this kid has the right amount of obnoxious affection to really be great on the stage. -K]

9. Nick Fradiani

Nick is also 29 and seems incredibly mediocre. So mediocre that I should have probably placed him lower but I just can’t do it to someone of such an advanced age. I learned on YouTube that he plays with his dad a lot (Nick here is actually junior) and was in an America’s Got Talent group called Beach Avenue. Ugh. [I never remember him. -K]

10. Adam Ezegelian

We do not need another Caleb, especially one who is best suited to Broadway. Maybe American Idiot is looking for some new castmembers? Hire him so he can leave my TV. (Adam gets credit for starting a YouTube channel with VLOGS after making it to Idol.) [He and Trevor should run away together to the great white way –and by together I mean together! FANFICTION! -K]

11. Michael Simeon

I can never remember him (oh, just you wait until we get to the girls’ post!), so it ranks him above a child and below someone who should move to New York and try out for Rock of Ages. Sounds about right. He will now be known as the guy who covers Drake. He should probably be switched with Nick. [I always think this kid is Clark and then he sings and I’m like you are not Clark, you are a poor man’s Clark. -K]

12. Daniel Seavey

He is a child whose voice has not changed yet and I wish this show would stop putting children through with hopes of finding another Ju$tin Beiber. He’s TOO YOUNG. [He would have made an excellent come back story for 2018. Also he creepily flirts with JLo.-K]

February 24, 2015
by melissa

Smart ladies love fashion, best and worst dressed at the 2015 Oscar after parties.


The after party fashion was AWESOME!

I’m going to be honest: I enjoy the Oscar after party fashion about 100000X more than the actual ceremony, where people are so afraid to end up on dreaded Worst Dressed lists that they wear the safest, blandest dresses that cost more than an IKEA kitchen remodel.

Best Dressed

Diane Kruger

Leave it to THE KRUG to make me love this dress-over-pants thing. -M

The Krug looks amazing in red! I’m going to confess that I’m kind of a fan of the dress over pants when it is done well like above. -K

Also the best:

Marion Cotillard

So this is a top covered in gum with a faux fur, ribbed skirt and a waiter’s shirt tied around her waist? GENIUS. -M

This dress is wackadoo and divine! -K

Rashida Jones

No one does prints better than Rashida. NO ONE. -M

First, the dress is basically a love letter to awesomeness and second, those earrings are GORGEOUS! -K

Emma Stone

Convincing flapper. -M

This is so fun! I bet she had an epic time dancing in this fun frock. -K

Camilla Belle

I wish someone had worn this at the ceremony. It should be seen by everyone! -M

I LOVE THIS! I am a big fan of of the 2015 Spring Schiaparelli Couture line and desperately wanted someone to wear this dress to the awards show. -K

Brittany Snow

I love that this is like a full-length version of something I’d get at Anthro. -M

This is so much fun! -K

Lupita Nyong’o

I am so happy Lupita has discovered Calvin Klein. -M

She really is the most beautiful woman in the world! -K


Solange KNOWS how fantastic she looks. -M

This is so fantastic. Solange is sparkletastic. -K

Felicity Jones

A little on the safe/boring side, but since her ceremony dress burned my eyes, I applaud this gown. -M

I think I hate her bangs. I think they ruined the Oscar gown and they look too heavy here are well. BUT on the brightside more great jewlery. -K

Laura Dern

She looks like the ocean. -M

Laura Dern rocks fashion. -K

Mindy Kaling

I need this in every color. -M

This is so flattering. -K

Angie Harmon

Now I don’t care for Angie Harmon AT ALL, but her dress looks like it has 3D snowflakes all over it. -M

I wish she had on a brighter lipstick. -K

Kate Walsh

I don’t exactly love the sheer panel but this is interesting and I like her sleek hair. -M

I love Kate Walsh, Grey’s Anatomy was never the same without her. -K



Beyonce and Solange really ruled the after parties. -K

Amy Adams

I can’t believe I just watched an Oscars where Amy was not nominated for anything. One day, just like Julianne Moore! -M

This is sexy as hell! Amy should really wear this color all the time. -K

Hailee Steinfeld

I’m disappointed to see she is friends with Selena Gomez, and while I kind of think this would be better as a short dress, she still looks cute. -M

Shut your mouth Selena Gomez rules (my love for Monte Carlo will never die). I too would have loved this about a foot and a half shorter. I also agree that it’s super cute. Great face. -K

Jamie King

I think we called her pregnancy a while ago. She JUST had a baby. Anyway, I love this gold lame dress. -M

I’m really excited that Jamie is pregnant again because I read her fertility tails of woe in People a couple of weeks ago. I also love this dress and styling. -K

Judith Light

Look at Judith Light in a crisp modern suit! -M

AND she is killing it in the footwear department. The Spirit post was filled with so many sad black pumps that I am beyond excited for SILVER! -K

Jennifer Lopez

Nobody can pull off this amount of skin and glamour like JLo. -K
I don’t know, Katie, I could TOTALLY pull this off. Just kidding. She looks perfect. -M

I Have No Idea Where to Put This

Sarah Hyland

I think I love it and hate it at the same time. -M

At least it’s kind of youthful. -K

Pretty Dress, Sucks About that Hair

Suki Waterhouse

I like that she chose a simple hairstyle, but maybe not one that makes the crown of her head look greasy. -M

What the eff is up with her face? -K

Kristen Bell

The white background is making her hair look even crazier. -M

What is up with the hair? Is it spiked? I am confused. I also would have loved this dress in any other color than black.  -K

Zoe Saldana

Her Oscar hair did not get any better at the parties. -M

Which is so sad Melissa because her dress is so good. -K

Margot Robbie

Her hair still looks greasy to me but this dress is so much fun! -K

Are vertical striped dresses now a thing? I don’t think I could do it. -M

Meh Dressed

Jessica Chastain

I can no longer get excited about anything she wears. -M

She looks like an ice dancer. -K

Keira Knightley

Classy and pretty but not as adorable as everything else she has been wearing lately. -M

Melissa this makes me sad. It’s just a velvet sack. -K

Nina Dobrev

I do not get this girl at all. -M

I’m so sick of this type of dress. -K

Katie Cassidy

She is wearing this five years too late to an event that is too high class for her. -M

It’s so sad and drab. It’s like a lacy silk sack. -K

Jenny Slate

This is boring for her. But can we agree that her body looks FANTASTIC?? -M

Jenny looks both fierce and snoozy. -K

Regina King

This could be acceptable, but the netting is all wrong. -M

I want to love this but I wish she had the v shortened and the netting taken out. -K

Italia Ricci

I only included her because she’s on Chasing Life, which Katie covers. -M

I really think she should cut her hair to a pixie like she has on Chasing Life not that that would make this dress any better. -K

Judy Greer

She is SO OVER IT. Buy her book! -M

Pretty lipstick. -K

Jessica Szohr

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP with the colored lacy dresses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -M


Julianne Hough

What is up with her makeup/brows lately? She looks ill. -M

I KNOW! I so want to love this dress but her face makes me sad. -K

Worst Dressed

Miley Cyrus

Hem your fucking pants, girl. -M

Miley does not do Schiaparelli justice. -K

Selena Gomez

Is this animal print with diagonal stripes over it? -M

Oh Selena, this is NOT your dress. -K

Christina Aguilera

Ohhhhh so she’s trying to be Iggy Azalea now. Good to know. -M


Lil Kim

I don’t even recognize her anymore. -M

NO! I can’t believe that is Lil Kim. -K

Juliette Lewis

Her shoes are pretty? That’s the only nice thing I can say. -M

Her legs are really toned. -K

Dylan Penn

I am so tired of this I just can’t anymore. -M

This reminds me of the Alien movies. -K

Andie McDowell

Bloody toilet paper. -M


Natasha Bedingfield

I’ve lost the ability to care, even about dumb dresses with spider web insets. -M

The shape of this is terrible. -K

WTF Dressed

Dree Hemingway

Dree thinks she’s in a choir. -M

Fancy sack. -K

Kat Graham

Oh thank goodness for Kat and her wacky clothes. -M

Now see that is a deep v. -K

Alexandra Snow

Now this is exactly the kind of WTFery from randos I love at these after parties. -M

Should I like this cause it’s gold? -K

Cloris Leachman Palate Cleanser