Or my pitch for a “The Real Queens of Europe” reality TV show
AKA Real Housewives + The Golden Girls = The Real Queens of Europe (ps there are SOOOOO many jewels in this post)
Queen Elisabeth II of England
DOB 21 April 1926, 86 (FUN FACT: though this is the QEII’s real birthday it is not her “Official” birthday that’s either the 1st or 2nd Monday in June)
She’s known as Lilibet to her family, which just kills me, it’s so cute! The QEII has been a serenely cute old lady my entire life, she is practically the same age as my Nanny. She wears pastel dresses and sweet hats. She puts her tiara on herself and she carries her handbag wherever she goes (my mother wants to know what’s in it).
Queen Fabiola of Belgium (Widow of King Baudouin)
11 June 1928 (84)
Queen Fabiola was from Spain and according to Wikipedia a nurse before she married King Baudouin. TIME magazine said about Fabiola at the time of her marriage that she was “an attractive young woman, though no raving beauty” and “the girl who could not catch a man” (jerks!). Fabiola and King Baudouin had 5 miscarriages and no living children. When her husband died he was succeeded by his brother King Albert II, Fabiloa stepped aside from public life to not over shadow the now Queen Paola.
Queen Sonja of Norway (Consort of Harald V)
DOB 4 July 1937 (75)
Queen Sonja grew up a dressmaker’s daughter in Oslo. She also studied dressmaking and fashion design from a vocational school (isn’t that like a community college, ADORBS!). She also has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Oslo. She dated her husband for nine years in secret because she wasn’t a royal. Her husband told his father that he would never marry unless he could marry Sonja (AWWWWW). She is the only Queen to go to Antarctica.
Queen Paola of Belgium (Consort of King Albert II)
DOB 11 September 1937 (75)
Paola was a shy Italian beauty who married Albert in 1958. Because Albert was the second son they did not think he would be King but there son was groomed to be the successor to the throne because King Baudouin had no children. In the late 60s and 70s the couple were “separated,” and they were both accused of affairs and for a period lived apart (SCANDAL). Apparently the King brought them back together by the 80s.
Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands
DOB 31 January 1938 (74)
She is a fucking lawyer. These ladies are so much more impressive than tiaras and cute hats (though those are also VERY impressive). I am a little upset, and so were the Dutch, that Beatrix married a former member of the Hitler Youth in 1966. There were protests AND a smoke bomb was thrown at the royal carriage. Apparently Prince Claus won over the Dutch in time because he became quite popular and he was widely mourned in death. If the Dutch learned to love Claus I guess I can chalk that Nazi shit to youth but really Beatrix.
Queen Sofía of Spain (Consort to King Juan Carlos I of Spain)
2 November 1938 (73)
Queen Sofía is kind of half-assed anti gay and anti-choice (she’s Catholic) so I’m thinking she and Daisy would be adversaries on The Real Queens of Europe. I am pleased to learn that her daughter in-law, the future Queen of Spain, Letizia, is bringing her closer to the people and hopefully to a less dated way of thinking.
Queen Margrethe II of Denmark (my fave cause she looks like she would be a good time…TO HANG OUT WITH…pervs)
April 16, 1940 (72)
In 1972 she became the first female monarch of Denmark since Margaret I, ruler of the Scandinavian countries in 1374-1412 (FUN FACT: Denmark changed the law in 1953 so that women could inherit the thrown, 1953 Britain just did it this year)! Margrethe’s nickname is Daisy and now I want her and QEII to have a travel channel show called Lilibet and Daisy do Europe…GAH!!! A painter and illustrator, under the pseudonym Ingahild Grathmer, she illustrated the Danish edition of Lord of the Rings! She also designs her own clothes! Daisy is AWESOME!
Queen Silvia of Sweden (Consort to King Carl XVI Gustaf)
DOB 23 December 1943 (68)
Silvia is from Germany and is of German and Brazilian descent (she speaks six languages AND has some fluency in Swedish Sign Language). She met the then Crown Prince at the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich where she was an education host (FUN FACT: for a brief time Queen Silvia was a flight attendant).