Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK live show seven

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This weekend, a very beloved fan (and Melissa) favorite was eliminated from X Factor UK, Ella Henderson. This leaves one boy band, one out of touch over 28, one male oversinger, one WGWG (white guy with guitar) and one of the most divisive contestants in X Factor history. ALL OF THEM MEN. I don’t like this, you guys. I love James, but not at the expense of Ella. I will do something a bit differently this week.

ELLA HENDERSON: WHAT WENT WRONG?

I have a few theories of how the trajectory changed for former frontrunner Ella.

Song choice

She could not get it right. Katy Perry and Evanescence did not strike the right youthful chord. I told you about “You’ve Got the Love.”  She never wanted to do Adele because she didn’t want to be compared to her, fine. But how about Lily Allen? Why can’t these shows clear her songs? She probably would have let Ella do it.

This week she did a slowed down “You’re the One that I Want.” More slowed down pop songs? People are tired of this shtick.

Late-in-the-game Jahmene surge

Ella looked like the frontrunner until Jahmene sang “Listen” in episode five. Once he did that Robbie Williams song last week, his name was already written on the hearts of millions of teen girls from the UK. This week he sang “Don’t Leave Me This Way” and had back up dancers.

It was such a strategic choice–he had done so many ballads and needed something peppy and delivered.

The Jaymi Factor/Last boyband standing

My favorite member of Union J came out (I always like the gay ones, grrr!) and that probably helped mobilize some of their fan base. Plus, he comes off as really adorable and self-aware in these interviews, which definitely helped.

With one boyband left, Union J got all of District 3’s votes, when they were previously split. They’ve done “Love Story” and “Call Me Maybe” in the past three weeks, which are both excellent song selections that will help them maintain their young fan base.

Plus they had a cute package this week involving roller coasters.

Old people

Is that who is voting for Christopher? Maybe people that feel bad for him?

The “safety” issue

Like Pia on American Idol a few seasons ago, many voters probably assumed Ella was the frontrunner and stopped voting for her so their other favorites (probably Jahmene) could get ahead.

I have no idea about Rylan

It seems like he’s been getting a little more love from UK gossip sites. Plus voters are just appreciating his fun, bizarre performances like they hadn’t before. His taped packages every week are FANTASTIC.

This week he kissed babies in Disney World Paris. He said “people were giving me their babies like I was a child minder.” Isn’t that freaking adorable?

After his performance Dermot brought his boyband up for the second time in the show and asked which member of Take That he was. Rylan said it wasn’t Gary because he was too skinny to be Gary. Gary was fake pissed and went on stage. It was a real TV moment, you know?

He is also a genuinely kind guy, as is reported by UK media. If he was an asshole, I don’t think he’d still be in the competition.

Nicole

People love her. It was so smart of her to join the UK show. She used the made-up words “shamazeballs” (Rylan) and “Jahmazing” (duh) this week.

I think voters are also casting a vote for the judge they like best. Gary has been a hoot, so Christopher sticks around, and Nicole has shown more personality than my little muffin Tulisa all year.

I mean, how could you not love her? She is not afraid to make a total ass of herself.

Ella herself

This is so sad to talk about. Besides her song choice, there were some things wrong.

Her packages were not as memorable as Jahmene, Union J’s or, most importantly, Rylan. I am sure she is sweet and funny but we never saw it. Come to think of it, this was Pia’s problem too.

Another thing I noticed is that she drastically changed her hair from the same style she had for several months while viewers fell in love with her. She also changed from bright lips to nude lips. You know how SLLS feels about nude lips!!!!

James?

James was kind of a non-issue this week because he was also in the bottom two–there is a lot of Internet hate directed towards him lately for not crediting the artist from which he stole his version of “I’m Sexy and You Know It.” But he is moving forward, while Ella is not, because he is seen as an “artist.” Male contestants on this show always get called “artists” for arranging songs, while female contestants (like Skylar on last season’s American Idol and maybe Ella?) are not praised for doing the same thing.

James was very WGWG this week. Snooze.

Bonus cuteness

Dermot asked the judges what their guilty pleasures were and Louis said Take That, which put he and Tulisa into giggle fits while Gary sat there and smirked.

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