Smart ladies love dumb TV, American Idol live show 8 recap

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It’s another week of IDOL and another week of me recapping for Melissa, this week we are down to six contestants (BYE DEXTER) and each contestant will sing two songs one country AND one rock song –FUN?!? Let’s look on the bright-side at least we won’t have anymore duets AND Jessica is singing “Jolene” one of the greatest songs, EVER!

Last week Terry Bradshaw, this week Grumpy Cat.

Last week Terry Bradshaw, this week Grumpy Cat.

First up is Jena who starts off the night with Heart’s “Barracuda,” I enjoy it. Jena’s voice’s is weird and I like it. Keith is really into it AND Harry didn’t look like he wanted to die! I actually might want her to win.
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Before Sam, Ryan introduces us to a blond boyband called R5, we need Brooke to tell us who they are but she is on vacation.

Sam is up second with Imagine Dragons’ “It’s Time,” I only know Imagine Dragons’ from their Grammy performance with Kendrick Lamar but I think they wrote “Radioactive” which I hate. [Kendrick Lamar makes everything palatable. -M] Sam is trying to connect but it looks more like he has developed a facial tick. This song is bad and I hate Sam. JLo can’t speak because the girls are screaming so loud (the youth of tomorrow scare me).  Sam also apparently turned 18, he jammed with the kids and had cupcakes –I want a cupcake. [Yesterday one of my friends posted a picture of her box lunch from Sally Bell’s and all I could think about all day was the cupcake. -M]

CJ, who should have gone home well before Majesty Rose is up third singing “American Woman” by The Guess Who. He might be on tune but that also might because he is not really but speak singing. A member of the backing band is really good at guitar, it’s not CJ because he is beating his guitar with his hand in beat but not actually playing the guitar.

I am bored and wish I was watching This Old House and reading more Queen & Country. OH, I read the first three issues of Marvel’s new Ms. Marvel and its fabulous. I bet you didn’t think you would get comic book reviews in this Idol recap. Seriously though I highly recommend Ms. Marvel (it’s also written by a woman) AND Queen & Country which might get a movie adaptation starring Ellen Page.

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Alex is singing a song by a band I have never heard of, Neon Trees (I wish there was a shrugged shoulders emoticon I could insert here). The song is called “Animal.” This is way more rocky than I would have predicted, usually Alex is basically a singing Starbucks. [HAHAHAHA!!! -M] The reviews from the judges were mediocre. It was more fun than he usually is BUT I was still board.

Caleb is of course singing “Sting Me,” by The Black Crows, it is exactly like you would expect. I wish he had picked something edgier, like something from a rock musical, like JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTARPassing Strange, Spring Awakening, and/or American Idiot. There are so many contemporary musicals that his stage presence and voice would be amazing with.

Our girl Jessica is singing “Somebody to Love” by Jefferson Airplane. She is wearing a skirt and her legs are amazing. Her voice is phenomenal and I agree with Harry’s criticism from last week, she needs to practice her swagger. This is my favorite so far.

Sam is the first contestant to tackle country and he covers Shania Twain’s “You’re Still the One,” and Melissa and I both want to kill ourselves. He is not our “one.” In fact we have vowed to quit if either Jessica or Jena go before him. [Who thought this would be a good choice? Once on Idol someone sang “Come Pick Me Up” by Ryan Adams, so he should have done that. -M]

Caleb is next with the first of two Carrie Underwood covers, he sings “Undo It.” I guess we should be happy he is doing something different and not some country rock song. Caleb is looking more and more like Meatloaf with every passing moment he is on this show.  He should totally sing a song from Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s Caleb’s birthday, Happy Birthday Caleb. [I think it was a good song choice, as it was contemporary, by an Idol winner, and everyone in the audience knew the words. -M]

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For his country song Alex sings, Willie Nelson’s “Always on My Mind.” I am bored even before he starts singing. In my boredom I notice that Alex’s head is too big for his body and it makes me uncomfortable. To correct this problem I suggest he wear pants that aren’t so skinny. It isn’t bad. I really liked how slow he sang the song. Keith wanted more heartbreak. I want bigger pant legs. We all want something. [I LOVED this, I think it was one of my favorite Alex performances after One Direction. It reminded me of Phosphorescent’s AMAZING 2009 record, To Willie.  -M]

Jena is back singing the second Carrie Underwood, “So Small.” Her voice is lovely and it’s a really great performance. She is having a really good night. She would be my favorite except Jessica is going to sing “Jolene” and that wins everything.

CJ’s second song this evening is the Zac Brown Band’s “Whatever It Is,” I have no fucking clue who this band is or the song. CJ is sing talking again which I think is his way of staying in tune, I’m not sure it works. The judges look bored. I just want to get to “Jolene.” [I told Katie in a text that the Zac Brown Band is like the Foo Fighters of country.  And hey, Dave Grohl works with them a lot. -M]

Jessica ends the night singing, Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.” Jessica was amazing but the electric guitarist was a little bit too enthusiastic, it didn’t matter though cause it is Jessica and Dolly, and that, friends, is a win and a wrap!

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Gifs from americanidol.

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