Smart ladies love dumb TV, American Idol texts


Things Katie and I texted to each other during American Idol boy’s sudden death round 1

Idol guys
I have corrected most of our grammatical errors brought on by autocorrect and Siri.

Idol Johnny Keyser

Katie on Johnny Keyser:

“Jesus doesn’t care if you’re wearing a cross with your blouse unbuttoned too much.”
“Poor Paul Jolley. He is hotter than this mofo.”

Idol J'DA

We love JDA:

Melissa: “He is weird and I love him. He’s X Factor UK material.”
Katie: “He and Zoanette should have a reality series with Kez Ban.”

Idol Randy Mariah

Re: the judges

Melissa: “I love when Nicki was like, Randy don’t touch me. With her eyes.”
Katie: “I wouldn’t let him touch me either.”
Melissa: “I wouldn’t even give him a polite hug.”

Katie: “I hate Randy, I find him the most dismissive of Nicki’s brilliance.”
Melissa: “She doesn’t seem to care for him either.”

Melissa: “Randy is just a parody of himself.”


Idol Chris
Melissa: “I miss Cortez.”
Katie: “I love you.” [I like to think she was talking to me but she might have been taking about Chris who wears a sparkly scarf around his head. -M]

Idol Paul Jolley

We think everyone is gay:

Melissa: “Elijah is the cute boy of the season, non gay edition.”
Katie: “Paul Jolley is not gay…she says in complete denial.”
Melissa: “Ohhhhhhhh Katie. He might pretend to be straight for country music but….”
{Katie rants about her dad and a blogger, both of whom appear gay to the world but are not.}
Melissa: “You are very passionate about Paul Jolley.” [Just look how pretty he is —YUMMY! -K]
Katie: “I’m like Dave Holmes that way when he was in love with P2.” 


Idol Kree

{Bored with terrible contestants}
Melissa: “Can Kree go again? Six days until Janelle.”


Idol Jimmy
Melissa: “Jimmy has the worst hair.”
Katie: “EVER. Plus he is bow legged like Jonah Hill.”
Melissa: “He really does not know what to do with his hair.” [I think he should cut it short because it was looking a little Charlie’s Angels last night. -M]

Sometimes we don’t talk about Idol at all:

Katie: “Holy fuck Amber Rose and Wiz Kalifa named their kid something sensible. Sebastian.”

Idol Johnny 2

Re: Johnny Keyser, again

Katie: “Devin is like, bitch you sucked.”
Melissa: “We don’t have to see him for one year, yay!” [Because he is inevitably going to keep trying out until he has reached the age limit. M]

Photos from the Fox website except Randy and Mariah.

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