Look, Katie and I spent a lot of time during our texting this week talking about March Madness. It happens. It also means we really didn’t say a lot about American Idol. So I’m going to mix in some of my opinions with the texts.
America, you suck
Weirdest phrasing (tie)
I texted Katie about BOTH Angie and Janelle’s phrasing this week because it was so fucking bizarre. Janelle lost the melody of “I Will” (truly one of the prettiest songs ever) in her desire to be an artist and Angie… well, I don’t know what she was doing. Also trying to be an artist? She just confused me. For some reason it annoys me when people change the gender in songs. If you want to listen to a great cover of “I Will,” might I suggest Rose Melberg (Go Sailor, The Softies)?
Or if you’re interested in a weird interpretation of a Beatles song, one where the gender is not changed (yay!), see The Fiery Furnaces’ “Norwegian Wood.”
I got off on a little tangent there… maybe I should go back to Idol? OK?
Devin, you are one-upping every girl on this show with your style and they all probably hate you.
This isn’t fair, but Ryan Seacrest is also dressed flawlessly, even more so than the judges (the only one who doesn’t dress in a manner I hate is Keith but a Mustang tee and beat up jeans does not deserve best dressed). We are really upset about his break up though.
Katie: “What is the Hough thinking? They were perfect for each other.”
Melissa: “I would have taken a week off work [after a break up]. He’s such a trooper.”
I also liked Amber’s butterfly print dress which I think is this one from McQ. I would have switched the necklace for a cool armband that didn’t get in her way while performing but whatever.
The buttons on the shirt are weird and the ill-fitting jacket makes me think he’s won a major golf tournament. Lazaro would benefit from a 3-button jacket–it wouldn’t gap as much.
More about Angie
First is worst, second is best…
Jessica with Ne-Yo was actually pretty great!
Katie: “I wish she would have sang songs like this last year. I would have liked her better.”
Melissa: “Too many Celine ballads. I think they were afraid of sexualizing her because she was so young, but she looks great! She’s like Sporty Spice.”
They’re wearing us down
Katie: “Nicki has been annoying me since the waffle analogy of last week.”
Katie: “Randy just started this sentence with ‘Yo, yo.'” I wish they put electrodes on his chair and shocked him every time he says yo.”
Apparently this happened too
Because the Idol tour needs another ballad singer, America chose Aubrey to join the summer tour over Charlie. He probably wasn’t chosen because of his frail emotions.
This week’s winner
Candice, you didn’t sing a ballad, you weren’t boring, you wore a leather vest (!!), and you had amazing stankface. You won American Idol this week.