Smart ladies love dumb TV, American Idol texts week 6


This week I was about ten minutes late to the Wednesday episode of American Idol due to a situation which required some beer, so Katie happily tweeted me about the show.

THIS… Is American Idol!

American Idol Top 8 Ryan Seacrest

Katie: “You won’t want to miss anything!”
Melissa: “Are you Ryan Seacrest?”
Katie: “OMG you’re missing an old timey video of Detroit.”
Melissa: “Are they showing ‘It’s so Cold in the D‘?”
Katie: “The judges just entered… Randy is dressed like Debra Messing on Smash.”

Siri is an idiot

American Idol Top 8 Candice

Melissa: “I think I’ll be ok if I don’t see Candice. I wouldn’t be ok if I missed Crete, Genell are Burnelle… WTF SIRI??” [I usually correct these mistakes but this was too funny not to share.]
Katie: “She is doing it bluesy.”
Melissa: “I’m behind this asshole on the road who keeps stopping at every light.”
Katie: “And her outfit sucks.”
Melissa: “Is it black again? She needs to wear more colors.”

I fervently believe these blousy tops that have elastic on the bottom are doing the girl no favors. It’s dated AND ugly.

Ugly judging

American Idol Top 8 Janelle KreeMelissa: “I’m dancing in my living room.”

[Nicki and Randy praise Kree while tearing apart Janelle, even though they were both decent.]
Katie: “This is uncomfortable for me and Kree. And Randy and his Debra Messing blazer/sweater.”
Katie: “Keith and Mariah, not assholes. Randy and Nicki: that was just rude and uncalled for.”
Melissa: “Making it a competition is not fair because some songs don’t favor evreyon’s voice.”
Katie: “I think that was Keith’s point but you said it more succinctly.”


American Idol Top 8 Lazaro

Melissa: “I should have saved my cookie making for Lazaro’s performance. His outfit looks like it’s from Forever 21’s lady section.”
Katie: “Are his pants leather? I like watching Idol with no sound.”

American Idol Top 8 Boys Trio

Lazaro was also responsible for making this one of the worst things I have ever seen on this show. I should have taken Katie’s advice and muted it.

That’s what I’m talking about

American Idol Top 8 Girls Trio

Melissa: “I love this. MORE GIRL GROUP SONGS.”

I want a girl group song week. DO YOU HEAR THAT, TPTB?



Katie: “I’m looking at paparazzi photos of ASkars. I’m obsessed with him and Ellen.”
Melissa: “I’m so glad you look all this up so I don’t have to.”
Katie: “I fell into a Skarsgard hole cause I watch Vikings with Gustaf [Skarsgard, I had no idea what Katie was talking about so I looked it up] and he was also in this movie Patrik, Age 1.5. He is a really good actor. And the while looking up Gustaf I came across ASkars and Ellen and I was all, what the what?”


American Idol Top 8 Results Colton Dixon

Katie: “Colton Dixon is the worst. I hate his hair.”
Melissa: “I hate the way the T [on his album] is a cross.”
Katie: “The crotch on his pants is so low. Where is Kat McPhee to hate on?”


American Idol Top 8 Results Keith Urban

Katie: “Nicole Kidman totally upgraded.”
Melissa: “I want to move to Nashville with Keith Urban.”
Katie: “Me too. And Gunnar. And Deacon. And we can make Scarlett a feminist. She has dumb doormat syndrome.”

America you failed us

American Idol Top Eight Bye Bye Devin

Katie: “I voted for you Devin!! Lazaro sucks so hard. It’s just unfair. I will miss your clothes!”

Here’s what Devin wore this week:
American Idol Top 8 Devin Velez

It fits SO WELL and it’s stylish. I don’t think a male has ever dressed this well on Idol. Devin, we will miss your perfectly tailor blazers and pants. And your pleasant singing voice.

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