Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, Ancestors


Previously on BATB, Cat broke up with Vincent, which is crazy since she shot him, he should at least be the dumper not the dumpee and a bunch of other stuff happened like Cat finding a skeleton in a secret room in Tori’s antique shop.


Vincent apparently got himself on The Talk, with Julie Chen and Sharon Osborne, good for Vincent –that will show Cat. Vincent is clearly winning the break-up. Apparently Vincent is telling everyone he has had amnesia for the past ten years. Julie asks him what he is going to do now that he has been found and he stares blankly into the middle distance while contemplating his life. I hope he goes back to being a doctor THEN this show can be like a police procedural/sci-fi romance/Grey’s Anatomy hybrid with BEASTS because it isn’t overstuffed as it is at all. [I watched this episode and excitedly texted Katie about the CHENBOT appearance! It was the best! -M]

Back on the mean streets of Vancouver NYC, Cat is rolling her eyes at Vincent in a newspaper at a coffee shop. Tess comes in and tells Cat she needs to take time to get over Vincent. The girls are summoned by Mohinder to go back to the precinct. [I loved the little table where they were sitting. I wish I could get coffee in the middle of the day with Katie! -M]

Vincent yells at Tori after his segment on The Talk because he should have been booked on Live with Kelly and Michael oh wait nope he was mad because HE IS LYING MORE THAN EVER! Everyone on this show hates lying even though they all lie all the time.

The ladies meet Mohinder and a blond woman (Elisabeth Rohm, the lesbian from Law & Order) in a grungy basement in which they have brought their own corpse –FUN! The corpse is a thief/con artist who looks a lot like Cat. Since the woman is dead, the FBI want Cat to take her place and infiltrate the crew. Mohinder and Tess are against it because Cat just got out of a bad relationship (Tess seriously says this in front of everyone which is HIGHLY inappropriate and extremely condescending), Cat initially refuses BUT then she gets a Google alert about Vincent on The Talk and she is ALL in. Note to Cat: you should stop receiving Google alert about your ex when you break up with him. [I don’t think she should get Vincent Google alerts when she’s WITH him, but what do I know. -M]


At the gentleman’s club that JT has to be squatting in because there is no way he can afford it, JT is desperately trying to get ahold of Vincent and Tori, who show up just as JT is leaving yet another message for them because he was attacked. JT has been working on the weird skeleton and the muggers/robbers/jerks/shadowy government goons stole the shackle but not the skeleton –WEIRD. It is also discovered that the skeleton is 10000+ years old and a distant cousin to Vincent and Tori i. e. Muirfield used some of its DNA to make Vincent and therefore BEASTS predate Muirfield. I miss Muirfield. I don’t want more shadowy government goons. [I really enjoyed hearing them pronounce Muirfield. -M]

Cat and Elisabeth Rohm go over the operation while Mohinder whines about it being dangerous (I guess because he is in love with Cat but AGAIN it comes off as condescending). Rohm gives Cat a speech about how she trusts her because she arrested her own father (Bob was only the bio-dad she knew for 2 months). Mohinder calls for a sidebar with Cat because he is a lawyer NOT a cop (not like the show knows the fucking difference), while in the hall Mohinder asks Cat if she is being impulsive because of Vincent and Cat tells him that she is a cop and is trained to do this (she doesn’t actually use those words because this show decided to be wishy washy and vague with everything). We end the scene with Mohinder’s gorgeous and yet worried face.

Vincent tracks the goons to an apartment with beads on a doorway (I just want to point out to production designers that GOONS don’t have beads on doorways; kooky psychics, college kids, and the Ropers are people who have beads on the doorway NOT shadowy government goons. Goons should live on a masculine houseboat –oh wait.). Anyway they don’t find the guy and Tori decides this is an excellent time to ask Vincent why he cares so much. Vincent points out that they attacked JT his BFF AND the shackle is connected to his past which he knows is his truth and not another lie. Tori was kind of growing on me but now she is just kind of annoying. Basically Tori wants to move on and forget the past because she is scared Vincent will get back with Cat and Vincent is like trust me (which is kind of sad because it’s not entirely his fault everything went to shit, it’s the writers fault). [Tori is the worst. I want Cat to throw her into the “Hudson.” -M]


Cat meets the crew at the bar. She starts asking questions like a cop and one of the dudes gets spooked so she beats him up. This earns there trust but as they are leaving she runs into Tori and Vincent. So she makes out with one of the dudes from the crew I guess to make V jealous –I don’t know anymore about anything but hey, we’re on a mission guys that’s kind of a win! Tori comes in and gets pissed that Vincent tracked Cat –Vincent cannot cut a fucking break.

Cat forms a bond with the head goon’s brother who isn’t a complete asshole but the head goon IS a complete asshole.

JT and Vincent are having a man talk because Vincent is confused that he tracked the goon but then found Cat. JT is like “DUDE (he really did say dude) it takes time and your emotions are crossed” but then he awesomely tells V to get over himself to “beast-up” and most importantly to get out there and “AVENGE ME!” JT is the star of this train wreck. [BEAST UP is my favorite thing from this episode. I demand a JT spinoff. -M]

Vincent, who is now all ready and rearing to go, heads back to the goons apartment and interrogates him. Basically Vincent chokes him into telling him that he was hired to steal the shackle AND also a gem from a lady at the Russian consulate. Then he tries to shoot Vincent but Vincent kills him first (this is cool, the goon was a terrible person and so according to the show totally cool for Vincent to kill).

In fact we learn the dead goons name is Shorty while Cat and Rohm meet about the operation. Mohinder is again completely inappropriate because of his feelings for Cat and as a feminist I’m getting very irritated that Cat, who has shown herself to be a fucking badass, has to keep telling people she is capable of her job. Fuck Mohinder, that guy has to fucking go. If this is the shows way of making us think he has changed it is going really badly. I think I liked him better when he was trying to kill Vincent than as the patronizing asshole who shouldn’t even be Cat’s boss–he is the assistant district attorney NOT a police captain!


At the goons warehouse, head goon is sad and pissed than Shorty is dead. He thinks that Cat is the one who killed him. When Cat shows up head goon is super pissed she is wearing the wrong outfit (I myself kind of dig her military style burgundy coat) AND that he thinks she is a cop. As Mohinder, Tess and Rohm listen in they all look super concerned.

The goons take Cat to the 28th street pier to see if she is wearing a wire and to easily dump her body in the water if she is. Cat thinks on her feet (because she is uber qualified for her job) and orchestrates a fight so that she can fall in the water and short the wire. This works and she is again proven to be one of the gang. She and Patrick (aka head goons super nice brother) have a moment (Cat is trying to save him from this life of crime). Since they are working for someone and I fucking hate Mohinder and think he is still evil and still out to get them all and I feel HE is this season’s super bad guy and has been belittling Cat because he is both in love with her but also does not want her to screw up his Russian jewel heist. Anyway, Mohinder and Rohm go to the pier and find evidence that Cat is with the goons but Rohm does ask Mohinder how long he has been in love with Cat.

Cat who is at the Russian consulate undercover as a caterer is sent by head goon baddie to steal the key to the safe from the Russian diplomat. Patrick then tells her to hang out with the wife so that they can break into the safe. But who does Cat run into but Vincent Keller who is undercover because he is avenging JT.


At the party Vincent and Cat banter about blowing each other’s covers then they put it together that they are both after the gem. Everyone goes after the gem; Cat takes out head goon and nameless goon. She then follows Patrick through the HVACs vents to the master bedroom. Vincent has seduced the wife to get into the bedroom then delicately subdues her by using the Vulcan death grip (though this time it’s more of a pass out grip). Cat and Vincent fight some more. She pulls a gun on him and sends Patrick for the gem but then Vincent holds Patrick by the throat and calls Cat’s bluff that she will shoot him. Cat asks him if he killed Shorty (which she is not cool with because Vincent being allowed to kill people was so last season) and then asks him who has he become (Cat, why didn’t you ask that earlier in the year when you found your boyfriend with no scar, amnesia, and ragier tendencies, NOPE all you did was browbeat him into remembering you and then get pissed off that he “allowed” your creepy bio-dad to turn him into an assassin. Cat go ask Bob what the fuck they did to Vincent when they trapped him at the end of last season, that’s who you should ask not Vincent. Vincent is trying to find answers to questions you want answered but are too stupid to ask your own super skeevy dad who is in prison. Man I am so sorry for that long rant.). Anyway Vincent has the gem.

Cat tells Patrick he needs to get out of this racket and she helps him get away. Cat lies to the FBI that she doesn’t know who took the gem (still lying for Vincent, I see). She also rightly points out that Rohm picked her specifically for this case. Rohm says she sought Catherine out because she has noticed a pattern of thieves stealing artifacts that are either connected to Cat, her father, or her ancestors. Bob is like the beast version of Van Helsing, I love it. Rohm tells Cat that something extraordinary is happening and it surrounds Cat. [I hope this Rohm storyline can continue, I like the idea of these two broads working together. -M]


Back at the gentlemen’s club, JT has fit the gem into the shackle, which is more like a collar. JT and Vincent have decided that they need to find the person who paid to have the artifacts stolen.

We end the episode with Cat kissing Mohinder and I am so fucking annoyed. [When she leaned in towards him I definitely screamed “NOOOOOO!!” which freaked out my husband. -M]

Next week Cat gets to be SCORNED some more (let’s not forget that she broke it off with him) and gets into a fight with Tori [AND THROWS HER INTO THE “HUDSON.” -M] and also seems to be firmly dating Mohinder (who planned and nearly executed the death of your ex boyfriend and part of that plan was kidnapping you but HEY he’s changed that was part of his beast side except that Mohinder was beast gen-1 and they didn’t think when they were beasts so he had to plan that shit out as a human and I will end this recap on that).

Photos from the CW and gifs from batbnation.


  1. Yes yes yes!!! I loved EVERY INCH OF THIS! And last week’ s one too! I agree with it all in it’s snarky deliciousness.

    As much as I love Cat’s badassness she has got to be kidding me. Really with Gabe? The life-ruiner? And I’m so sick and tired of them trying to make ‘Gabe the saint’ happen ugh! Does anyone buy it at this point??

    Anyway, as per usual, this was the highlight of my BATB Tuesday!

    • THANK YOU!

      The end of last nights episode was the WORST. I do not even know what it’s going to be like with Cat dating Gabe. ALSO I am serious I still think he is a bad guy and is behind all of the thefts.

      Thank you for reading and commenting!!!

  2. You are sooooo much cheaper than a therapist and soooo much more effective for me…I was again in a very dark place after watching Ancestors but your brilliant humour has truly turned me around and made me laugh for the first time in 2 days! Thank you! Keep it up…I now have to watch the remainder of the horrid season so I ‘get’ your reviews and razor-sharp wit! <3

  3. Wow!!! I soooo agree with you!! Cat is so annoying!! Love V! Not his fault! Ask daddy Reynolds!! Yes!

    • Thanks Yoli for the comment!

      The fact that they won’t ask Reynold’s what he did to Vincent is INSANE! He is in prison and literally a captive audience they could ask him whatever they want.

      Thanks again for reading 🙂

  4. Totally agree with what you think of Gabe, I do not trust him.

    And for heaven’s sake! Everyone against Vincent, what’s that? Yes, he has killed, but I think in all this he is the victim although accuse me of sexist.

    About the kiss of the end … c’mon! A peck on the mouth, in the middle of the precinct?

    Great review, very funny, thanks!

  5. at last a review which reminds people that V been put through hell as well #BATB

    • Hey Sam,

      The show has just kind of forgotten that the whole point was trying to figure out what happened to Vincent and how to help him. And to fight crime but they have completely thrown that out.

      Thanks for the comment and for reading!!!

  6. I hear a lot of “You shot Vincent, Cat! You could have killed him!” but not a whole lot of “You crashed Cat’s car, Vincent! You could have killed her!” Seems like a double standard. Just saying. I have to admit, I was fine with Cat shooting him, hoping it would knock some sense into him, which nope.

    Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but love for VIncent. Flawed scary beast is better than emo sort-of-beasty dude hiding in a warehouse. (Although he had his moments, for sure…) But why Tori has any issues with Cat for shooting Vincent is beyond me. I certainly haven’t forgotten that Vincent ripped her father’s heart out of his chest, even if she apparently has. Honestly. Just ripped it, still beating, right on outta there. And in front of her, no less! And she still wants to get all up in there with him? Granted, her dad wasn’t as dreamy as Vincent,but still. He KILLED her dad. Gruesomely. And she wants to hug him and kiss him and date him! That makes the kind of sense that… well, doesn’t.

    Phew. Guess I needed to get that off my chest. 🙂

    • Hey Cat,

      Feel free to rant away. I like to think this is a BATB safe space for rants 😉

      I keep meaning to write about how the show has gotten really dark this season but unfortunately I spend a lot of words pointing out all of the continuity flaws. I suppose the difference is that the show is trying to show that Vincent is darker OR the new direction they talked about is to be darker. Anyway that whole heart thing was gross and unnecessary.

      As for Tori she is terribly under written. The writers should do a better job of establishing who she is because I have zero sympathy for her and think her story-line has just added unnecessary conflict to a show that is already jam packed with conflict. Having her and Gabe means we get less JT and Tess people I actually care about.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting!!!

  7. Thanks for pointing out that which is intuitively obvious to the casual observer, and in such an irreverent, surly way . So glad I found you.

  8. You never fail to make me laugh. I think we need to keep a close eye on “Mohinder” he may be all ‘sweet and sappy’ now (gag) but wait until he get royally rejected by Catherine – I bet that nasty side will rear it’s ugly head once again. Catherine can so kick Tori’s beastie backside all the way to the Hudson – Beasties will be giving her a standing ovation. 😀

    • Hello Monique,

      Tori and Gabe/Mohinder have got to go. I am DONE with the love square of doom.

      I’m so glad I make you laugh! Thanks for the comment and for reading 🙂

  9. I’m so glad I found your review; you nailed it! Hilarious but dead on. Gaberine – EEEWWW. Mohinder’s redemption is not believable nor is Cat and for that matter Tess’s seemingly blind acceptance of his new character and motives. He was the reason Vincent was captured in season finale – he kidnapped her so he could capture Vincent to kill him to cure himself. In their fight, he almost killed Cat and forced her to inject Vincent, forever reversing his cure so that he could defend himself against Gabe. It is also inconsistent that Cat forgives him cause he’s been such an angel, but Vincent who was victimized by first Mohinder and then bio Dad can’t forgive him this season unlike last year when she protected him at all cost. Gabe is also sickening perfect this season versus Vincent who even last year made a lot of decisions thinking it was protecting Cat even if it was misguided – it came from a good place. I really hope this little foray into Gaberine is extremely short-lived and doesn’t go beyond a kiss here and there. You got to wonder how serious she is about Gabe as she looked quite happy to play tonsil hockey and to protect Patrick (bad guy). I guess one last reason to be optimistic re the short lived Gaberine, is that Cat does fall for bad boys, and so maybe its a good thing that he’s such a good guy, he doesn’t stand a chance…I too loved JT “beast up and avenge me”. That’s the problem with Tori and Gabe they are taking away JT and Tess screen time, and those pippy lines from them are so missed – it would be great against the dark theme this season to have their quips breaking the tension.

    • Thanks Jennifer for the comment 🙂

      This new Gabe is sickening perfect and if he isn’t the big bad then I am grateful you pointed out that Cat doesn’t really like good guys. That kiss still haunts me –ZERO CHEMISTRY! Plus it was so awkward the way they did it in front of everyone.

      Thanks again for reading and for commenting!!!

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