Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, Cat and Mouse

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Previously on BATB, Vincent was sent to jail then escaped, Tess and JT started a relationship, Mohinder was a douche, and BT-DUBS Cat was kidnapped (most likely by Mohinder, RIGHT???).

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Best. GIF. EVER!

This week we start with Tess in a kerfuffle because Cat is missing and her stuff is NOT missing –being the only person on this show who tries to work [Besides JT! -M], she deduces this means Cat has been kidnapped. God bless Tess. She goes to the gentleman’s club to find JT passed out after too much scotch and one too many gummy worms –she gives him pills and water; again, God bless Tess. After explaining to JT the situation and that they need to find Vincent so that he can rescue Cat, JT remembers that he and Vincent had established a rendezvous point if V ever had to escape. The only two members of the Scooby gang worth a damn go after V in their quest to find Cat –JT AND TESS TO THE RESCUE. [Gahhhh with Cat needing to be saved by our hero. If anyone should save her, it should be Tess.-M]

Mohinder has taken over the precinct AGAIN. [What the eff is going on in this district? I’m concerned about the higher leadership. -M] This time because he and the captain are supposed to work “together” to find Vincent. Mo asks the Captain if Cat has checked in (way to point out to your friends boss that they never show up to work) the captain says he will track her down but Mo says he will do it. MO TOTALLY KIDNAPPED HER, RIGHT???

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At a secluded warehouse on the outskirts of NYC Cat tries to figure out how to escape. Meanwhile her love is sitting at a greasy spoon diner probably close to the Canadian border waiting to say a final goodbye to his BFF –AWWW. JT is so excited to see Vincent, it’s adorable. Vincent tells JT he can’t leave Cat behind and JT, who is a total shipper, has a squee moment. Tess tells V that Cat is missing. V freaks out, but JT tells everyone to remain calm. Tess wants Vincent to go to Cat’s apartment and to track Cat, JT points out that the police have the place surrounded. They all look baffled as to what to do next. Come on Scooby gang, save Cat!!

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Back at Cat’s apartment, the gang’s plan seems to be for JT to climb up the fire escape to be arrested by Mohinder so that Vincent can slip in and track Cat. All is good until Mohinder comes in and admits to setting Vincent up by alerting the cops to his whereabouts apparently to protect her from Vincent (Cat you are so lucky you dumped his borderline abusive ass). Mohinder, Cat does not need your protection nor does she want to be your girlfriend you are on the edge of being a crazy ex-boyfriend who can’t let go and does terribly destructive and harmful things. [HE IS HER BOSS. Just let that sink in. If my boss hurt my husband I would run far far away. SO unprofessional. -M]

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Mohinder tries to interrogate JT. Mo is seriously the worst.  At one point, he tries to get JT to turn on his friend by telling him that Vincent let JT end up in jail so that he could be free —isn’t Vincent a big fat meany? JT and I are not having any of this bullshit. Tess comes in and reminds Mohinder that he doesn’t have shit on JT and therefore has to release him. She then calls Mohinder on his shit. Mohinder threatens that she and Cat will have to pick a side. Mohinder is totally the crazy ex-boyfriend who can’t let go and does terribly destructive and harmful things, let’s all hope that his journey to crazy town ends with him off the show. [And fucking fired. Seriously, NYPD, what is your deal? -M]

Turns out Cat has been kidnapped by the FBI who are trying to rescue a kidnapped contact before she is killed. Cat and I are distrustful BUT the FBI agents were sent to Cat by Elisabeth Rohm’s Agent Landon –YAY, we loved her! Cat is still unsure about helping them, until they tell her they might be able to get Vincent exonerated and yet…

Vincent and JT break into Mo’s apartment. JT want’s access to Mo’s computer so that he can watch the surveillance video and alert Vincent if Mo spots him. Vincent tells JT that they may need to reevaluate JT’s level of illegal involvement in the shit Vincent gets into but JT, like the true shipper he is, will not let Mo use the legal system to break up VinCat –ADORBS.

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Vincent tracks Cat to the warehouse just as Cat subdues her captures and escapes only to run right into Vincent. Cat is miffed that Vincent came back for her because he should be saving himself AND she can take care of herself as evidenced by the fact that she subdued not one but two FBI agents. Vincent gets a call from JT warning them that Vincent was spotted on a camera and that Mo is after them –OH NOES!

At the precinct, Mohinder is super annoyed that V and Cat are able to evade his evil surveillance cameras. He corners poor Tess and tells her she needs to find Cat and persuade her to act as if Vincent kidnapped her so that he can save them all from a life on the unemployment lines. I think this show would be fantastic if Gabe died and the other four formed a private detective firm out of the gentlemen’s club –seriously CW you should fucking hire me, I could fix this show. [I like this idea! Could that weird thrift store from last season also be involved? And maybe they can resurrect Hot Joe from the dead. -M]

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Back at the Scooby dungeon hangout, JT is worried because Tess isn’t taking his calls –I am hoping it’s because she is packing her desk. Vincent and Cat look concerned but Cat is more concerned about Vincent. She and Vincent have a heart-to-heart, V wants to help Agent Knox but Cat does NOT trust the FBI. V listens to her but you could see he was going to call Knox. The Scooby gang wouldn’t be the Scooby gang if one of the gang didn’t go off and do their own thing only to have to be rescued by the other three.

Cat calls Tess, who apparently drank the Mo Kool-aid and tries to talk Cat into trusting Mo and to stop running. Cat and I are both incredulous. [And me too! Was she drugged or just unable to resist Mohinder’s “charms”? -M] With Tess on the side of the police and with Mo telling everyone that Vincent is armed and dangerous (nothing says crazy ex-boyfriend like a dude who issues a manhunt for the capture of your current boyfriend) Vincent tells Cat that they have to stay and fight together because bad shit keeps happening to them –true fucking story. So to the FBI they go! Vincent adorably makes Cat apologize to Agent Knox for hitting him in the face with a chair, HA!!

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Knox informs VinCat that his agent is being held in the United Nations building which means that they will have to break in and break out without getting caught or the FBI will disavow the mission. They initially walk out but when Knox begs them they cave –and Mo says that V is a bad guy. Cat demands Vincent’s exoneration in writing before they do anything –that’s my smart girl.

JT goes to plead with Tess to rejoin the team. She tells him that she is still part of the team but that she is staying silent as to protect them. JT tries to give her the same speech that Vincent gave Cat that they could save him if they work together but Tess’ last words to him are stay out of trouble –TESS what are you doing? Can’t you see Mo is on a train to crazy town and he can’t get off, don’t get on the train too, that train is BAD NEWS BEARS! [Maybe she’s trying to infiltrate Mohinder’s crazy from the inside? I can’t believe she’s flipped on her BFF. -M]

Vincent and Cat try to come up with a plan to get in the UN and it’s kind of fuzzy but I think Cat will pose as an agent and hope to be taken too by the terrorists (how are there terrorists in the UN and only two FBI agents working on it, dammit I need to stop trying to find logic in this show) and then Vincent will find them and save them. Tess works with JT (because she is NOT the type of girl to just hop on the crazy-train –thank God) to fake surveillance footage to keep Mohinder from the UN building. With the help of the Scooby gang VinCat is able to sneak into the UN (if it’s that fucking easy no wonder there are terrorists there, this recapper is on the logic-train and she is having a hard time jumping off).

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UN building  rescue mission fun-time bullet style for recapping and reading ease:

  • VinCat crash a party in order to have the bad guys snatch her.
  • Cat fights the bad guys but also lets them take her (in reality she would have kicked their ass).
  • Cat’s plan is genius she is taken to where they are holding Agent Mallory.
  • Mo yells at Tess for lying to him and says he will take her and JT down but she informs him that the evidence will lead to him because it came from his computer. She also told him she picked a side and it was NOT a trip to crazy town with him.
  • Vincent and the ladies run for it but they are only able to get Agent Mallory out of the building.
  • VinCat take refuge in a stairwell because Cat looks like she might collapse from all the running–so much running and stair climbing. She tells him to run and he tells her to trust him–I roll my eyes because it’s like the tenth time we have had this conversation in one fucking episode.
  • They escape by jumping into the East River. [EWWWW. -M]

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When they go to find Agent Knox he informs them that Agent Mallory is safe and thanks to them they found the terrorists in the UN BUT they rescinded Vincent’s exoneration because somebody called somebody and told them because Vincent ran that implied guilt–MOHINDER, YOU BASTARD!

Cat goes to Mohinder and slaps the shit out of him, then reads him the riot act. Mohinder the asshole tells her that he will stop at nothing to destroy Vincent then he maniacally laughs–kids, Mohinder has officially arrived in crazy town!

Cat and Vincent promise each other a future and kiss on the rooftop–JT and I squee while Tess rolls her eyes.

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Next week, Mohinder, apparently not satisfied with crazy town, hops a plane to delusion island in his quest to free his “love” from the “beast”–let’s hope somebody shoots him. [Oooh oooh CAN IT BE ME?? -M]

Photos from CW and gifs from batbnationinnerbeautyandbeast, and gailley007.

11 Comments

  1. I can just feel the utter delight at Gabe’a demise in your words. It’s about time! That slap if I could, would be my ohone’s background, screensaver, everything! Thank you Catherine for getting it together and letting that crazy have it. I’m glad very single member of the Core Four is done with him and over it.

    Great review as always. But on a side, non-BATB note, are you or Melissa watching or going to watch OITNB?

    • I watch it but I probably won’t recap it because it’s too good and I can’t give it the analysis it deserves. I did a brief piece on it last year. I definitely hope we can do something with Hemlock Grove when it comes back!

      Thanks for reading!

      xoxoM

    • I am super stoked that Gabe has taken the train to crazytown and the Scooby gang has rescinded his membership! That slap was golden.

      Thanks as always for all the comments and especially for reading!!!
      Katie

  2. This was awesome!! I laughed til tears streamed down my face at your perfect commentary. Thank you!

  3. You used the maniacal laugh clip…I’m officially dying here lol loved your recap lmao

  4. Loved the recap as always, spot on and belly laughing good!

    • I was hoping people would get a good laugh out of that recap, really Gabe and his insanity made it easy to write.

      Thanks Kristen for reading and commenting 🙂
      Katie

  5. Awesome recap!!! So much funny and so many TRUTHS. I mean LOGIC, for real, it is incredibly painful sometimes to have it. Oh, AND, this show DEFINITELY needs to be a P.I. show, you’re brilliant!! Also, I have thoughts:

    01. They wasted a LOOOOOOOOOOT of episodes – and nearly ruined VinCat in the process – just to get them back to where they were in season one. (which is where they were best, btw)
    02. The face-slap – and Tess’ bad-ass “I chose a side,” – was the highlight of the ep for me but I am still hung up on how Cat said “…I loved you” to Mohinder. SERIOUSLY?!! YOU ACTUALLY LOVED HIM?!! BWUH?!! Shows what an amazing actress Kreuk is that she didn’t choke on the words.
    03. Dear TV gods, PLEASE BRING BACK AGENT KNOX. My eyes think he’s easy on them. While you’re at it, please throw in Agent Landon because she’s kick-ass.
    04. How is it that the side-kicks are now my favorite part of this show? JT and Tess are the glue – the logic/truth speakers – they held me together through all the crap of season 2 and now that we’ve come out the other side I’m more into them than VinCat.
    05. I know there are so many other things to pick apart in terms of BREAKING INTO THE U.N. WHUT?! But I’m mostly wondering why they didn’t go DOWN like thirty floors to find an office to jump out of? And, why didn’t Vincent break the window first? Isn’t he supposed to be Doctor Smart?!

    Thanks for watching BaTB and for providing a place to commiserate on all the things about it that I love and that confound me 🙂

    • Hey Tracy,

      This show totally needs to go back to some kind of procedural format and becoming a PI agency with ties to the FBI (bring back Knox and Landon) would be the easiest and less story changing.

      I have decided that Cat only told Mohinder she loved him because he is delusional and she didn’t want to completely crush the crazy guy in front of her. I either have to think that or just ignore she ever said that.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting!!!
      Katie

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