Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, Don’t Die on ME


Previously on BATB, I was irritated that the show is no longer a procedural, that the writers are toying with my patience when it comes to our soul-mates, opining the prospect of a love triangle/square, AND rejoicing about Tess and JT.


We open on the first episode of 2014 with Cat giving a videotaped deposition to the internal affairs agent investigating creepy bio-dad Bob’s illegal activities. The guy thinks it’s an open and shut case, while Cat is having flashbacks to shooting Vincent. When she leaves the deposition, current potential love interest Mohinder asks her if they are okay and then informs us (in case we forgot in the many weeks we have been gone) that Bob confessed (was his name Bob?) so as to protect them ALL.

Cat proceeds to whine about how Vincent (who if you recall suffered a brain injury in which he does not fully remember his past, he occasionally gets glimpses) chose to be a beast and tried to kill the man who has been using him as an assassin instead of choosing Cat and an uncertain future with a woman he only partially remembers (who he has been having some serious relationship issues). I apologize but I have kind of lost patience with Cat, from the very moment she found Vincent she has pushed him into a relationship he probably wasn’t ready for because of what they had BEFORE he was kidnapped, drugged, and altered. Also when your boyfriend doesn’t remember you, acts violently against you, AND you shoot him, it’s time to get counseling or break up. Date Mohinder, Cat, he’s perfect if you forget that not that long ago (like 6 months) he kidnapped you so that he could kill your supposed love-of-your-life AND he came up with that plan as a human NOT a beast. It is a bad sign when I am ranty 4 minutes in. PLEASE LET THERE BE SOME TESS AND JT SOON! [Here is where I realize I don’t remember anything from the earlier part of the season. But maybe that’s a good thing? Oooh there was a fancy boat! -M]


Back on the boat of loneliness and blood, Vincent and Tori fight over what to do about the fact that he is bleeding A LOT. Go to the hospital and my family finds out I didn’t die in Afghanistan 10 years ago OR treat myself because I am a doctor. Cat shows up and has terse words with Tori, then breaks up with Vincent. It’s super fun and not at all annoying. Nope I’m not at all ranty –I need more beer.

TESS! Back at the precinct, Tess is incredulous that Cat “wants to move on” i.e. gives her side-eye that would cut glass. Cat is also still confused as to why she feels weird about her break-up with Vincent even though she knows it is for the best (I’m just going with the break-up and buying her and Mohinder china in my head for their really fucking boring wedding). Tess is all “maybe you feel guilty for shooting Vincent” and “you need to take some time for you, I’m still not over Joe and it’s been 6 months” (OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT JOE). Mohinder interrupts their little tete-e-tete, because internal affairs have more questions for Cat –ruh-roh, what will the Scooby gang do now?

Meanwhile Tori and Vincent barge in on JT because Vincent is still bleeding. JT freaks out when he sees the wound and is sent off by Vincent to go steal blood and antibiotics (he very adorable points out that since he previously stole a body and now blood he will never get tenure–oh JT you beautiful man, I have missed you). After, he leaves, Tori gets a call from some corporate douche bags who basically blackmail her about her father’s beast like nature into signing papers for the sale of some company –SNOOZEVILLE.


Back in the interrogation room, Cat is again asked if she was indeed alone when she arrested Bob. She again asserts that she was indeed alone when she arrested Bob. Mohinder demands to find out why the FBI is investigating something that should be cut and dry. FBI guy informs Cat and Mohinder that he found a bullet from Cat’s gun with blood on it at the scene –double ruh-roh! After refusing to budge on her story the internal affairs dude suspends her.

Cat whines to Mohinder that she is STILL protecting Vincent and now maybe fired once they trace to bullet to her gun. Mohinder because of love and redemption offers to steal the bullet for her but is saddened when Tess shows up because JT has been arrested for stealing (HE CALLED TESS) and Cat is like I must save Vincent! She will go find Vincent. Tess will go bail out JT. And Mohinder will go back to his office to ponder why on earth an assistant district attorney is the head of a police precinct –oh wait that wasn’t him, that was me.


We then jump to Tori and the corporate douchebags, whom are mean and try to kill her which prompts her to beast out but not kill them. SNOOZEVILLE CITY!

Tess arrests JT and takes the blood as “evidence.” She is mean to him about his friendship with Vincent, belittling all that he has done in the name of friendship and makes him look all sad.

Cat goes to the gentleman’s club and yells at Vincent about giving up and just dying. Why are they all giving things up for HIM if he is just going to die? WHY VINCENT WHY GIVE UP! (I might give up because the writers seem to want us to hate Jay Ryan a little more each week and this week is that he is lazy and suicidal) I don’t find this at all romantic and moving. I also don’t understand why last season it made sense for Vincent to stay off the grid and now everyone wants him to go to the hospital and announce to the world he is ALIVE. It makes sense for him to be off the grid, especially in the context of what this show was supposed to be which was a man solving crimes with his soul-mate NOT every fucking week some NEW shadowy government group is after BEASTS cause guess what KIDS, just as Vincent and Cat are having their heart to heart Tori walks in and gives the them fantastic news that MORE people know about BEASTS. They aren’t even beasts; they are more like the rage infected zombies of 28 Days Later.


Tori tells Cat and Vincent about the goons. Cat is kind of a pill (Kristin Kreuk is too fucking good as an actress for how they are treating her character this season). Vincent is delusional and believes he can help them all by going to the antiques store the goons wanted to buy. He tells Cat to leave, that they are no longer her problem and she tranqes his ass. She tells Tori that she will help with the investigation because then she can move on (I then realize that if I drank every time Cat has said “move on” this season I would be an alcoholic).

Then because we haven’t been through enough this episode, we go check on Bob in prison. Man I fucking hate Bob. Bob kidnapped Vincent and started us down this road of insanity; I blame BOB FOR ALL THE RANTING. Of course Mohinder meets with Bob to go over the internal affairs mess. Oh god, Bob tells Mohinder he would rather an ex-beast dating his daughter than a real beast and that’s when I actually throw peanut m&ms at the TV. Anywho those two are going to come up with a plan to help Cat –blah, blah, blah, grouse, grouse, grouse, grumble, grumble, grumble, blergh, blergh, blergh, that’s how I imagine this recap is to those reading it. [I’m just scanning it to find news about JT and Tess. -M]

When JT and Tess get back they find Vincent passed out. JT freaks out and drops the bombshells of all bombshells that it was he who gave Vincent’s name to Muirfield. He was helping them with clinical trials and thought that it would merely give Vincent a boost and an edge in war, he didn’t know that Muirfield was corrupt. This, this is why he put his life on hold for his friend. Tess tells JT that he should be proud of all of the good Vincent has done, all of the lives he has saved and I scream “HUZZAH someone remembers that Vincent isn’t dick” at my TV! JT get’s Vincent to wake up and he asks them where Cat and Tori are.


Where are Cat and Tori you might ask, well the ladies are checking out Chelsea Curios the world’s worst antiques shop (at least it doesn’t have a secret hospital in the backroom). The two discuss Cat’s codependency and the fact that when Cat says beast, she says it like she wants to spit (which is true, are they directing them to say that word like it’s dirty because it makes me kind of uncomfortable, this show is supposed to campy fun AND Not some really insane allegory on racism in modern America). Just as they find something (a camera? I’m not sure what they find) the goons show up and threaten to kill Cat. The goons point out that what they found is a retinal scanner (thanks bad guys), they then threaten to kill Cat so that Tori uses the scanner.

Meanwhile Mohinder goes to steal Cat’s bullet –ROMANTIC. You have to give the writer’s credit for packing these episodes with an intense amount of plot.

Back at the antiques store, Tori opens a tunnel and the goons force Cat to go in first but she beats up one of them and Tori is able to seal Cat in the room while going after the rest of the goons. Unfortunately Tori is not quite as strong as Vincent and is quickly overpowered but Vincent comes and saves her but soon collapses. Meanwhile in the tunnel Cat finds the bones of a person/beast who had been chained up –CREEPY. When she is released Vincent tells her to call 911 and Cat leaves looking like she can now move on –I don’t know why, maybe because Vincent is going to be a hero out in the open? Was that it Cat, you wanted to remember that Vincent is a HERO not the guy who tried to kill your creepy as fuck father who cause all of this pain in the first place, was that it?!?!?

We get a glimpse of the internal affairs guy being pissed off that the bullet doesn’t match Cat’s gun. Good job Mohinder. And a fleeting look of the corpse, I can’t fucking wait to find out what that shit is about –seriously I’m intrigued.

Vincent tries to leave the hospital when Tori tells him the police took his fingerprints but she tells him that together they can handle people asking questions about “Vincent Keller war hero ALIVE.”


Mohinder and Cat have a heart-to-heart about what she realized in the store which was that she felt she owed Vincent for saving her life so many times but now he has Tori to save and so she is free. Even Mohinder looked skeptical of this but also super excited that she will go get coffee with him. And Mohinder tells her what a great guy her father is because man isn’t that the hallmark of this show, let’s forget all of the terrible things people did, except for Vincent, Vincent is a dick for trying to kill Bob who was a murderous bad guy. It was cool when Vincent killed all of those other murderous bad guys like Joe’s brother because he was saving Heather but not Cat’s bio-dad who I am fairly certain had something to do with Cat’s real-dad (the guy who raised her) being pushed out into the street and killed.

We end with Vincent giving a press conference, I guess about his being alive. I bet his cousin will be super-duper PISSED.

Next week Cat and Vincent are both undercover (is he now a policeman, FBI agent, working for ANOTHER super secret shadowy government agency, the CIA, MI6, the Buena Vista Social Club, my grandma, MOHINDER, all of the above especially my grandma) at an event and they angrily trade barbs –FUN???


  1. Hi there like the review but one point re the following
    JT freaks out when he sees the wound and is sent off by Vincent to go steal blood and antibiotics (he very adorable points out that since he previously stole a body and now blood he will never get tenor –oh JT you beautiful man, I have missed you). Unquote
    Think the word you mean is “tenure” NOT tenor – JT is a professor not an opera singer (though we know Austin Basis has a great singing voice).
    I love the ins and outs of where the writers are taking us – Beauty and the Beast is immense & can’t wait for the next episode. And now Vincent out in the open – so now we will see a true Keller? Bring it on

    • Hey Denise,

      Thank you for pointing out the typo! There are too many words for us to really catch everything in the amount if time we have,so we appreciate the help 🙂

      Despite all of the ranting,I have to admit I too am curious about how Vincent will handle fame and notoriety.

      As always thanks so much for the comment!!!

  2. I love you. I am so on Team Vincent and am sick of the Vincent hate. If I’d been Catherine I would have held Bob down and told the love of my life to go ahead and rip Daddy’s heart out with my blessing. Please by all means continue to rant. You’re generally almost 100% spot on (IMO). I don’t agree that V was lazy and suicidal in this ep, just at the end of his rope and in the circumstances I’m not surprised. I could never possibly hate JR or V. He’s the ultimate victim in this show and everyone seems to forget that. I’d like to see any of us handle a brutal brain wipe with half as much control. lol. Thank you for making my day. <3

    • Hey Karin,

      Thank you so much for the LOVE and I’m happy you enjoyed the recap enough for it to make your day!!!

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂

  3. Priceless analysis as always…thanks so much for showing me the light side of this dark journey! It’s your spot on re-telling that has me howling at the irony of what this professionally written show has become! I LOVE IT!!!

  4. Hi, Katie. I am a different Denise than the “tenure/tenor” Denise who posted above. LOL.

    Thank you for a fabulous review! Hits all the right notes.

    All best,

    Denise from NY

  5. Thanks, Katie. Looking forward to your review of 210!

    Have a great week!

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