Previously on BATB, Vincent tore out a guys heart (FOR REALSIES), Cat was conflicted about their relationship, Tess was jumping on the “Gabe is a better boyfriend” bandwagon (Tess has inappropriate relationships with men in power I hope they address this [What is her problem? I am going to cast a new boyfriend for Tess. -M]), JT was on a retreat (JT!!!), and we discovered a SHE-BEAST!
This week I’m going to try and keep this recap to 1500 WORDS!
Condor our neighborhood creepy bio-dad has some dude planting bombs, with the sole intent of killing someone. They do start their conversation with some Thanksgiving banter –HOLIDAY EPISODE! [I LOVE holiday episodes, I cannot wait for Christmas BATB. -M]
Cat stops making out with Vincent because she has a vision of Vincent with a heart in his hand. They talk about him losing control and whether or not he is the last target on the list. She then gets a call from Condor/Bob who invites her to Montauk [Are they visiting Nolan? I want him to exist in their world. Maybe Tess can date him–he’s rich and a sharp dresser. -M] for the holiday. Vincent points out that as an assassin it’s probably not a good idea for him to go to Thanksgiving at an FBI agent’s house.
Tess ruins Cat’s Thanksgiving Day cheer by bringing up Mohinder’s theory that Vincent is the last name on the list. Cat in a RAGE goes to confront Mo with Tess and who should they find but Tori. Though it appears that Mohinder brought her in to make sure she doesn’t go running to the press about monsters in Manhattan, I think she is secretly there trying to find out how to rid herself from her beastliness. Cat demands Mohinder’s proof but when he goes to look for it on his computer all of his Muirfield files are GONE –JINKIES!
Vincent is at an abandoned warehouse talking to Condor, he is worried because he doesn’t sense a beast –wait a damn minute he called Vincent, Condor. Are they both Condor or have I been too busy in to notice that he is calling Vincent Condor –fuck it from now on Bob is Bob, Vincent is Vincent, but Gabe will always be MOHINDER! Back to the show, the warehouse blew up and now Vincent quite rightly does not trust Bob. Bob is really fucking easy to type –WIN! [But Condor is funnier. Katie, the reader is the loser here. -M]
Back at the ‘too kool for school houseboat’, the entire gang is trying to find Vincent –JT oh how I missed you! Vincent comes in just as Cat is talking about how out of control he is. Everyone argues and then JT suggests that they might all benefit from working together (GOD BLESS YOU JT). JT (smartest guy in the room) points out that they should probably leave the ‘houseboat of impending doom’ since Bob knows that Vincent is not dead. [Why does he keep leaving? Is the actor really busy with another gig? WE NEED THE VOICE OF REASON. -M]
They form a plan. Vincent will call Bob and they will extract his voice to find out who he is. JT will also hack into Mohinder’s office computer to find out who stole the Muirfield files.
Mohinder gets a call and has to go to the hospital because poor Tori drove her car in the Hudson river. She wants Mohinder to sign her out of the hospital because it’s Thanksgiving and it’s super depressing in a hospital.
Bob calls his bomb-maker and bitches about Vincent not being dead, while whining he gets a call from Vincent. Vincent at first sticks to the plan but then blasts Bob for stealing his life. Tess get’s enough audio to try and find out who the handler is and JT finds out it was the FBI that hacked into Mohinder’s computer. Cat decides that they should ALL have Thanksgiving in Montauk –FUN!
One question: was Bob cooking a complete Thanksgiving Day meal just for himself? Think about that folks!
Bob calls the bombmaker (with food in his mouth, GROSS) and tells him that he is going to try and get Vincent to go to him by playing the NEW father card –BOB IS THE WORST! Cat and Vincent arrive alone (where is the gang) and try to come up with a Thanksgiving codeword for when they can come clean to Bob –it’s cute, it’s also pumpkin.
Back in New York Tess and JT continue to work on the voice recognition. Tess and JT decide to get drunk, order pizza, and boycott the holiday –oh please let them make-out! [This sounds like my perfect Thanksgiving. Pizza>>>>>>turkey. -M]
Back at Bob’s house which looks like it was decorated by Martha Stewart, Bob is grilling Vincent on whether –I am not making this up– or not Vincent pays property taxes on the houseboat –I just can’t. Vincent claims it’s a gift. [I CAN. I love that someone is finally asking this. Bob, YOU are the gift. -M] The entire thing is awkward and Vincent can’t get a read on Bob. Cat calls Bob dad and it’s weird. This entire thing is weird, especially with Cat and Vincent throwing around the word ‘pumpkin’. Reynolds’ plays the two of them and Cat gets Mohinder to bring the files to the house. Unfortunately Mohinder is also bringing Tori who brings out the beast in Vincent.
Vincent and Cat make-out and talk about how weird her NEW dad is.
Mohinder arrives and Bob seems to be on team Mohinder too! I am so not into this love triangle. Don’t we have enough going on with two beasts, Vincent being out of control, and Bob’s creepiness? I also worry about all of their jobs (except for JT who seems to go to work, he is living life to the fullest now that Vincent is an out-of-control amnesiac). There is just too much going on for a love triangle (which we did last season with Evan). BLERGH!
Anyway Tori shows up, both she and Vincent get weird. He attacks Bob (GOOD except not good but I think Bob should die mainly for eating and talking on a phone where the sound is magnified –GROSS). Tori goes and hides in the bathroom.
Bob plays Cat and Mohinder (he also apparently has a staff, Bob is a tool). Bob says he will consider helping Vincent if Vincent talks to him. Then Cat tells Vincent to beg her father for forgiveness to save all of them. I remember when this show was about police work and now NOBODY notices that poor Tori is acting weird, such as driving her car into rivers and asking about defibrillators –YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL, MOHINDER, GET WITH IT!
JT and Tess flirt while eating pizza and drinking some beer. I LOVE THEM! Can we just get a show with them? THEY KISS! Best thing ever. [I was still holding out for Nolan but this is awesome too. -M] Then Mohinder calls and I want to punch him in the face. He tells them to hurry the fuck up AND then tells poor Tori that she needs to stay to convince Bob Vincent isn’t dangerous.
Bob and Vincent have a chat. Bob says he will help find the ‘handler’ if Vincent leaves Cat alone (REALLY DIDN’T WE DO THIS LAST YEAR). If Vincent doesn’t leave Cat, Bob will turn her in. He will lose her to save her and if I had peanut m&ms I would be throwing them at the TV.
They sit down to Thanksgiving because Bob is a nutcase who cooked all this food for one fucking person. It’s very awkward and Bob is so CREEPY –I HATE EVERYTHING!
Then Vincent and Tori clink glasses and he leaves and she beast out. Mohinder goes after her and Cat has it out with her dad because even she can see he is THE WORST. I can’t wait for JT and Tess to figure out he is the handler and then go make out some more in the cloak room at the gentleman’s club.
Bob calls his bomb making buddy to tell him to come up to the house because they have lots of beasts to kill.
Tori and Vincent have a heart to heart. It is very sweet except for when they hug and make out which course Cat oversees which is just PATHETIC and now we have some sort of LOVE SQUARE. [The idea of this makes me insanely angry. Cat is the one for you, Vincent, stop it!! -M]
Vincent goes after Cat. She then regurgitates the shit Bob spouted to Vincent. Vincent tells her that it will never get better and that she needs to walk away or he will.
Bob sends Tori home with the bomb maker.
Tess and JT find church bells in the audio from the call and think they may be able to use them to find the location of the handler. They also talk about the kiss and Tess is like it’s cool but lets not tell anyone and I’m like MAKE OUT MORE!
Vincent gets a file from Bob –DON’T TRUST BOB! Bob also gives Vincent his car keys –DON’T TRUST BOB!
CAT, DON’T TRUST BOB! But then she and Mohinder hear church bells and they know TO NOT TRUST BOB.
Vincent walks in to the address given to him by Bob and he finds Tori and BOMBS!
Next week is the MID-SEASON FINALE, Vincent has some scratches on his face and a vendetta in his heart against Bob (Cat warns him that he must fight his inner beast and I’m like Vincent kill Bob he is THE WORST!). (1507 words!)