Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, The Beast of Wall Street, SEASON 3 PREMIERE

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Previously on BATB,  it’s been just shy of a year and the only thing I can remember is that VinCat is alive (and together) and Mohinder is dead (and going back to Heroes –poor sad Heroes). [At least we know that we won’t have to watch Heroes. It’s a win-win. -M]

We start the new season with Vincent running and jumping over rooftops to meet Cat who has used her siren to speed home so that they could be together –aww.  The next morning our cuties wake up together and make breakfast adorably. Vincent is apparently going back to work as a doctor –REAL JOB. He looks super hot in a tie and leather jacket. Also he has facial hair this season AND Cat has a super cute haircut.

It’s been two months since the events that ended season 2 and JT is just NOW returning to work at the university. He has a cane and terrible nerves. He gets stage fight and leaves the school. Tess tries to calm him down over the phone and they make plans for lunch. She bitches to Cat about JT’s neuroses –NEVER CHANGE TESS.

Cat is on the phone with the shadowy government dudes who saved JT’s life and who are apparently with DHS. She is keeping these phone calls from Vincent (oh Cat really, will you never learn). Tess accuses her of secretly wanting to chase beasts again. Cat feels like they might still be apart of something bigger. Tess warns her that Vincent will freak when he finds out she is “cheating on him” –as usual Tess is the voice of wisdom on this show.


Cat meets with the agents, one is named Thomas or Thompson (has a goatee) and the other dude has no name (he is too bland for a name). Agent Bland (until he gets a name) wants to know where Vincent is, Agent Thomas (or Thompson) and Cat explain that they only want to involve him if the threat is real. Then they all play a game of whose life has been fucked over more by the beasts/shadowy feds (if I were voting, Vincent would win). They show Cat videos of people who have super powers. She demands actual proof before going to Vincent.

Vincent goes to the gentleman’s club (oh thank god they didn’t get rid of this set) to see JT. While there he does three things: asks JT about class and teases him about his cane (I’m thinking he agrees with Tess that JT should be better by now), picks up a very large bottle of pills (looks deeply concerned –OH JT don’t become a pill popper), and finally asks JT for a box he left with him before Afghanistan (SO HE CAN PROPOSE TO CAT WITH HIS MOTHERS RING).


Cat goes with Heather to try on a wedding dress (for Heather, not Cat). I forgot Heather was engaged. Did we meet the fiance? Heather’s hair ages her badly. Cat gets a text from Agent Thomas (name is confirmed) who wants to meet at DHS.

Vincent’s first day at the hospital is chaotic. Vincent asks a very harried nurse if he will be able to leave on time so he can propose to his girl –she gives him a “bitch please” face. I hope harried nurse becomes a series regular.

Tess and JT have lunch at a cafe/bar/Starbucks. They are sitting on coaches. Who eats like that? JT is obsessing over how he is still alive. Tess tells him he needs to “get off his pity pot and grow a pair” –if Tess ever leaves this show it will be a tragedy. She tells him she can’t take care of him anymore. She also gets a text from Cat about meeting the dudes at DHS. Tess is fed-up with EVERYONE.

Team DHS and Cat are meeting with the very worried wife of Tyler, a workaholic who has become both more aggressive and ambitious overnight –OVERNIGHT. He recently went crazy at the office and broke out of jail. He is also secretly watching them talk about him. Cat tries to come up with excuses about how he is just another nutcase workaholic in NYC and then he attacks her and team DHS (I bet he killed Agent Bland which is why we never get a name).

Vincent is late to the ultra swanky restaurant, but of course, so is Cat because she is getting beat up by Tyler. The maitre’d makes a dumb joke about women always being late (he is officially the first person of season 3 forced to take my feminist theory course). Vincent gets a call and has to go back to the hospital because Cat was attacked. If the maitre’d hadn’t been such an ass I would say he deserves a big tip for holding the table.


Vincent walks into the hospital and notices Agent Thomas on a stretcher. He and Cat chat and she informs him that Agent Bland (BARNETT) is dead –I totally called it. Vincent uses his super powers to save Agent Thomas. Vincent is really pissed off that she lied and that his proposal was ruined. I LOVE (rolling my eyes) how Cat feels like it’s fate that they are supposed to save the world when in reality the only reason they are chasing after Tyler is because she keeps talking to DHS (if you would stop taking their calls they would stop trying to get you into beast club). Cat is basically a storm chaser like Helen Hunt in Twister, but instead of tornadoes, she chases after souped up assholes. They fight some more and Vincent walks away in DISGUST –much like Bill Paxton, but ALSO like Bill Paxton, he will always come back (man, I want to watch Twister). [We should have watched it together, as it stars noted Melissa crush Jeremy Davies. Though PSH is also in it and I haven’t been able to watch one of his movies since his death. -M]

Vincent goes to JT’s to bitch. JT is disappointed that the proposal did not go well. Vincent should go talk to Tess because she is the best at giving people hard truths. This show needs more Tess in general.


Cat is at the precinct going over surveillance video. Heather comes in because she is leaving for Miami. Heather notices the footage and they talk about Cat and Vincent’s relationship woes. Heather tells Cat that she needs to talk to Vincent and to stop making decisions for them by her self –good advice Heather I bet its the haircut that makes you look 45.

BACK AT THE HOUSEBOAT! Oh houseboat, I’ve missed you. [Is it still decorated “ultra modern masculine”? -M] JT bangs on the door with his cane to get Vincent’s attention. Vincent doesn’t want a pep talk (he just wants to eat) but JT makes him have one anyway. JT is on team destiny with Cat –see Vincent should be talking to Tess who I feel is firmly on team normal life. JT convinces Vincent that maybe Cat is right.

Vincent goes to the hospital to talk to Agent Thomas but finds that he is being strangled by Tyler. Vincent saves Agent Thomas who asks him “if you won’t stop them who will.” Vincent goes after Tyler. Cat sees him and tells him to wait he does not (those two and their shitty communication).

BATB_EP301_WallStreet_3Cat and Tess are going after Tyler who they call Zane (I might have completely made up that the douche-beasts name is Tyler –how is that possible– I hope it’s Tyler Zane or Zane Tyler). Tess doesn’t understand why they don’t want Vincent to take him down. Cat says that Zane/Tyler is very strong. Also Vincent may not be able to control his RAGE. They evacuate Tyler/Zane’s office building. Tess notices that the dudes are fighting on the roof via surveillance –as usual Tess is the only person on this show who is good at her job (sorry Cat but really you are always going on off-duty adventures).

The boys fight with Vincent nearly losing on several occasions but he is able to get the better of Tyler/Zane. Vincent in full beast form nearly kills Tyler/Zane but Cat talks him down. If we are playing the blame game this is Cat’s fault for putting him in this situation.

At the houseboat of testosterone, Cat and Vincent finally have a conversation about their relationship. Agent Thomas got Tyler/Zane into a secure medical facility. Agent Thomas fears that some shadowy group is using NYC as a giant petri dish for experimentation on people. Cat thinks that she and Vincent are meant to stop these people together as a team. If I were her I would include JT and Tess in this conversation because in reality those two always have to HELP.


Speaking of Tess, she goes to the gentleman’s club to talk to JT who even thought he was told to grow a pair is super happy to see her. Tess tells him she needs a drink and he obliges. He asks her how her day was and she basically says same old same old. JT has also ditched the cane and takes Tess out to get her a real drink.

On the rooftop of lust Vincent and Cat decide to save the world together. Vincent then gets down on one knee and proposes. Cat says yes. I just realized that sexist maitr’d is probably still sitting at that swanky restaurant with Cat’s roses.

Next week kids, JT may have a brain tumor that’s growing and is attacked but another douche-beast –RUH ROH! [NOTE: I am on vacation so unfortunately there will be no new BATB posts until I come back the second week of July.] 

One Comment

  1. Love your reviews!!! Im kindda tired with Cat’s back and forward with beast/man, destiny/normal!! Make up your mind, lady!!!

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