Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, The Most Dangerous Beast

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Previously on BATB, I went on vacation and a LOT OF SHIT HAPPENED; Bob and Carol (NEW NEMISI/NEMISISES???) blew up the houseboat (NO!), Tess made captain (YES!), JT became invincible (OKAY!), Cat and Vincent realized they are co-dependent while in therapy (THANK GOD THEY ARE IN THERAPY!), and Heather tried to give VinCat her wedding (OH HEATHER!). I’ll try to get recaps for the 3 episodes I missed next week (FINGERS CROSSED!).

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At a coffee shop our lovebirds get into a fight immediately because of Cat working and NOT getting them concert tickets. Cat is still concerned about Bob and Carol (who have the best bad guy names –if I ever become a villain my name is going to be Gail or Edna). [Like this? -M] The two do a very good job of helping each other through their issues (AKA Vincent does a good job of calming Cat down) until Cat swears she spots Carol and goes off after her (the fact that Cat just says Carol and get’s up to run after her is hilarious). The two split off for the day with Cat going to work (as a cop not a beast hunter) and Vincent going to do hospital outreach out of the city (Vincent works a whole hell of a lot more than Cat).

At work Tess gives Cat a “normal” case and a new partner, Wesley. [Who seems hot from his pictures. RIP Joe, my fave BATB eye candy. -M] Cat is of course not pleased by being asked to do her job (I love Cat, but lets face it, she is the worst police officer). Tess tells Cat that she can’t always cover for her and that she needs to be present at work. She also tells Cat that she has to stop pestering JT who is trying to figure out how he can extract the serum from his blood so that he can go back to normal.

Speaking of JT and the gentlemens’ club (best set after the houseboat —RIP HOUSEBOAT), his healing ability has corrected his vision and he no longer needs glasses (Austin Basis looks weird without glasses–I think he is a person for whom glasses improve his looks OR I could just hate change). He is immediately called by Cat who of course asks him about Bob and Carol. He initially gives her a hard-time (and it makes me kind of feel bad for also giving her a hard-time –Cat, we do it out of love) but does tell her that Bob and Carol have the ability to see in slow motion (do not try to think about this too hard) and that she and V can defeat them if they impair their vision. He hangs up because Tess tells him to via text while giving Cat the “do your fucking job” look but he immediately gets a call from V who is worried about beasting out while doing outreach work (JT, TESS, and I all roll our eyes at these two fazools). JT calms him down because JT is basically the therapist of the group.

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Cat and Wesley go deal with the “normal” armed robbery and Cat completely abandons him when she sees a blonde woman walk by (again this is hilarious, she is in the middle of coaching Wesley and just says Carol and runs off). Wesley is confused and very “what the fuck” but it’s cool cause Cat calms herself down and goes back to work. This is fortunate because it really is CAROL! And Carol is trying to lure Cat to an alley (I’m guessing) so that she can kill her. Bob, meanwhile, is in the woods with a crossbow and an injured man so that he a lure Vincent and either kill or cage him.

As part of their therapy homework Cat and Vincent are to do separate activities and only to call at noon and late afternoon. Cat breaks the rules by calling Vincent at 11:48 (her co-dependency is strong, I think we could all make a case that she is also co-dependent with Tess and Heather too) she is also in a coffee shop making Wesley get her a coffee (one must love Cat’s commitment to coffee). Cat complains about Tess to V but calls her Carol. Vincent tells her they have to trust each other but is cut off due to bad cell reception.

Bob obviously has a better phone plan than V because he is on his cell with Carol chit chatting about their evil 3. So far those plans include Carol murdering a man to get Cat and Bob in the woods trying to get Vincent. Bob and Carol need to kill VinCat so that their boss (the BIG BAD) will give them the antidote to get the serum out of their system. Now I know Bob and Carol are assassins and therefore bad people, but they should just tell Vincent their troubles because he can send them to JT to fix. Then Bob and Carol can join the scooby gang! Also Bob and Carol are the after counseling version of VinCat it’s kind of cute except they are killers (lovable killers –Natasha Henstridge was born to be on Beauty and the Beast).

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WESLEY!!!

Cat and Wesley are at the NEW crime-scene which is right across the street from the OLD crime-scene. Cat realizes that only Bob and Carol OR Bob or Carol could have killed the latest victim. She hilariously tells Wesley that it’s Carol and Wesley is like “who now and what now.” She sends Wesley off to patrol the rooftops close to the crime-scene and leaves a message for Vincent that is basically “I was right, BITCH! Call me back.” Wesley folks is a keeper. He is adorable and his facial expressions are priceless (good job casting director).

In the woods Vincent finds the cabin and immediately knows that Bob is after him. It looks like Bob is going to give Vincent a test. I guess a test of his skills and if he passes he will trap him for the big bad and if he doesn’t Bob will kill him. To be honest I’m trying not to get too invested in the plot particulars because sometimes –as you know dear readers– they make me stabby/ranty. Instead I’m trying to pay attention to the hilarity that is the way Vincent says “Bob” and Cat says “Carol” it always makes me giggle. Vincent hears the guy Bob injured call for help and goes after him. Bob types into is old ass flip-phone that he is texting “beast morality.” I have so many questions; Like who is the big bad? Boy, Bob is super quick at typing numerically! Why does Bob NOT have a smart-phone? Does he have an old lady phone-plan? Is that why it’s so good in the woods? I thought old lady phone-plans didn’t have texting? Does Bob’s ability make it difficult for him to read and that’s why the type on his old lady phone was so huge? Is that why he could numerically text that quickly?

Bob's old ass phone (I realized when I took this that it's a sat phone but it still looks like an old lady Walmart phone).

Bob’s old ass phone (I realized when I took this that it’s a satellite phone but it still looks like an old lady Walmart phone). Also who uses that much punctuation but uses “b” and “1”?

Back at the precinct, Tess has to pull rank on Cat who wants to go after Carol with no evidence. Cat does not take it well. Tess gets a call from JT who has figured out where Bob and Carol live, a brownstone in Brooklyn. Bob and Carol do look very Park Slope/Brooklyn Heights. Tess goes to meet JT so that they can do some off the book snooping. Bob and Carol killed a DHS guy, I think so they could make this a legitimate case –Tess you are smarter than this.

Cat tells Wesley they need evidence to tie the crime to Carol. Wesley is desperate to find out who this Carol is. Poor Wesley, Cat just rolls her eyes and sends him to look up meth dealers. Carol better not hurt Wesley or I will cut a bitch.

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Back in the woods Vincent finds the wounded dude, whom I’m going to call Ted (because of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice). [I GOT THIS JOKE IN FIRST. SUCK IT. -M] Ted is hurt and tied to a tree. Vincent freaks the guy out by using his name (which I didn’t catch so it’s still Ted for the purpose of this recap). Bob kills Ted (BOB NO!). According to Bob’s muttering Vincent is passing all of the tests –GOOD JOB VINCENT.

JT and Tess bust into Bob and Carol’s swanky apartment. Tess get’s annoyed that JT kicked in the door. Tess and JT find proof that Bob and Carol are after VinCat. JT tells Tess to go after Cat and he will go after Vincent. Tess is worried that JT will do something dumb. ALSO Tess is very cranky and protective of JT, I bet you dollars to donuts she is pregnant. I’m not sure what a baby will do to this show but I bet it will be fine. OR I could be totally wrong. OR the baby will be super powered because of the serum in JT’s system! I should write this show.

At the abandoned Meth lab, Cat and Wesley have no cell reception. Cat immediately knows it’s a set-up by CAROL and tries to get Wesley to leave –Cat why did you even let Wesley bring you there. Wesley is incredulous about leaving and of course is shot (BUT IS COOL TO DRIVE –thank god) by Carol. Once Wesley is off to get help, Cat goes into the building to face Carol ALONE –though Tess is on her way.

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JT tracks Vincent and Bob to the woods in Lake Placid as Carol and Cat fight each other in the abandoned building, because of all the action I am switching to bullets:

  • Cat shoots out the lights so that it’s a fair fight with Carol.
  • Vincent creeps around in the woods trying to track Bob.
  • Vincent realizes he is in a test for his life.
  • Bob taunts Vincent with the knowledge that Carol is going to kill Cat so that Vincent will beast out.
  • Vincent is busy making a fire bomb which is throws at Bob while also beasting out.
  • Bob tranques Vincent and taunts his love for Cat –not cool, Bob!
  • Tess and the cops show up at the abandoned building.
  • Cat comes out of the building with Carol in handcuffs.
  • Tess tells Cat about Bob and Carol’s plan to split them up.
  • Carol tells Cat that Vincent is now someplace that there love won’t be able to save him –BALDERDASH!
  • JT sees bob drive off with a chained up Vincent.
  • JT leaves a message for Tess informing her that he is going to save Vincent and JT and that he loves her –AWWWWW.
  • Carol explains her and Bob’s plan to use their co-dependency against them.
  • Tess almost tries to cut Carol when she gets JT’s message.
  • JT stands in front of the truck, reminds Vincent of Cat’s love then let’s bob run him over.
  • Vincent subdues Bob or kills him. AND is able to de-beast himself by thinking about Cat.
  • Thanks to his abilities JT is all good.
  • PS Wesley was fine.

Tess and Cat are very relieved that the boys are okay and coming home. Though Vincent get’s cut off trying to Tess something about JT’s condition. The ladies go together to inform Carol that Bob is dead. Carol stops her own heart.

Tess finds JT at the gentlemens’ club. JT is freezing because he has pushed the serum too far but will eventually be fine. Tess hits him and then tells him she loves him too. So I guess I was wrong about the pregnancy thing.

We end the episode with our two cuties at the coffee shop AND they are going to the concert (GO CAT).

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Next week Cat goes to see bio-dad in prison (UGH I HATE BIO DAD –I also don’t remember his name) and Vincent get’s a bachelor party.

4 Comments

  1. I cannot wait for your Wahlburgers recaps (please say you’ll be doing them) ! I have questions to ask you when you return 🙂

    • Thank you so much for appreciating those recaps! I still haven’t decided if I’m going to do them this season–if I do them, they won’t post til Mondays.

      xoxoM

  2. Pingback: Smart ladies love dumb TV, BATB recap, Chasing Ghosts | smart ladies love stuff

  3. “Boy, Bob is super quick at typing numerically!”
    Well you get good at it by just doing it enough and to top it of he has enhanced slomo-vision.

    “Why does Bob NOT have a smart-phone?”
    Maybe he just doesn’t like those things and prefers old school models. At least that’s my reason for having normal cell. Seriously I absolutely can’t stand that bloody unnecessary touch-screen technology and it has to be fricking everywhere these days…

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