Smart ladies love dumb TV, Beauty and the Beast recap, Any Means Possible

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WOOHOO! Crappy voice-over recap of everything that has ever happened ever. I’m still so sad about Tess and Cat fighting.

Any Means Possible

MAKING OUT! It’s time to get busy! But OH NO VINCENT GOES ALL RAGEY! That will kill a mood. Okay. this must be a dream because he just tossed her across the room AND Vincent wakes up!

Cat shows up because Vincent gave her a key to the warehouse. JT excuses himself so that they can get busy (I love funny JT). Vincent is all weird to Cat because of the dream and acts like he has someplace to be (dude, you are a rage monster who lives in a warehouse on the outskirts of NYC, where you gotta be?!?). Cat is all I thought we were gonna hook up but here you are skipping out on me. Vincent does not tell her the truth BECAUSE HE NEVER DOES!

Evan is in an all white room at Muirfield headquarters. He is pissed that they don’t want him to work for them. They pull a gun on him and tell him to go home.

Cut to Cat talking to her step-mother (I think?) about not getting busy with Vincent (cause she can’t talk to Heather and/or Tess?) and in walks Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder from Heroes and/or Jai from Covert Affairs) our NEW character in only a towel (I still hate you, Mohinder, but dude you are lovely) [DAMMIT I’m sad I missed this. -M]. They banter about her being in the men’s locker room but she just points to a self breast exam poster —HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…snooze….

B&BT

Thanks “innerbeautyandthebeast” for the gif!!!

Cat needs girl talk (I guess the step mother wasn’t good enough) so she bribes Tess with coffee. She tells Tess about Vincent AND NAKED GUY IN SHOWER, who of course walks in just at that point. Mohinder (as I am now calling him because I missed his name) is the new assistant district attorney. Cat and Tess gossip about the new ADA and Joe’s new hired guns (Cat calls them assassins).

Mohinder interviews Tess about Joe and Cat, she gets very testy. When he asks her about requesting a new partner she covers for Cat she tells him she wanted a change but then he brings up the tampered evidence. Will Tess cave!

JT comes home to get the scoop on the great Vincent/Cat hook-up from V (JT called him this and it’s totes easier to type, so V it is!). Just as they are talking about how nothing happened and why, Cat walks in. JT leaves and V tries to talk to Cat about their intimacy issues but Cat stops him to tell him about the hunt. V initially responds as he always does by brooding and pushing Cat away but then relents and tells her about his dream and this one time two years ago when he was hooking up with a girl and nearly killed her. FUN!?!

Any Means Possible

Cat and V are going to try and figure out why Darius was going to kill Heather by finding the guy who fled the scene. I’m guessing this is the case-of-the-week. Vincent does the leg work so that Cat won’t lose her job if she gets caught helping the vigilante [Cat has a job?? -M]. He goes undercover and they learn about a man named Ray. Cat goes to Evan to see if he found any evidence that Ray was at the crime scene. Evan immediately calls Muirfield to tell them he might have a man who has seen the beast. Evan, never trust a shadowy government agency that has an all white room and employs one of the vampires from Twilight.

Cat and Mohinder talk at the coffee machine about his investigation. He tells her that HIS mother was also murdered so they BOND he also has a hand tremor (the DTs is he a DRUNKARD???).

Any Means Possible

Ray is apparently very rich and is throwing a party. So Cat and V are going to a MASQUERADE BALL. FUN!

The ball looks like the orgy party in Eyes Wide Shut. We slow-mo as V sees Cat in her dress because they are soulmates PEOPLE. V and Cat find Ray. The plan is to plant evidence on Ray so that he tells the truth instead of implicating V.

At the precinct Joe tries to give Tess booze at work (Joe is off the rails). Tess tells him they need to take a break because of Mohinder hanging out at the precinct. She doesn’t want Joe to get screwed because of an affair with a subordinate. She also thinks its nuts that he hired the two hot heads. Joe tells Tess that she is the only thing that makes sense and then they make out in his office with the blinds open (MORONS).

Any Means Possible

Cat flirts with Ray so that they go off to a “closed exhibit”. Both Mohinder and Evan are at the party which means one of them is definitely going to fuck up Cat and V’s plan.

Cat plays hide and seek with Ray in the dark exhibit hall. She then pulls a gun on him and tells him that she will plant evidence at the crime scene if he doesn’t come clean with the truth. There is a noise and he gets her gun. V in rage monster form pins the dude to the ground and Cat lays down the law–if Ray does not tell the truth then she and the beast will find him and NOT be as kind as they are now.

Once Ray leaves Cat and V talk about how he saw V’s face but that V was in control, which means they can have sex! He is in control of his rage monster tendencies! This is just like on Downton Abbey when they realized Matthew’s penis was not broken after WWI.

Any Means Possible

The look of a man who thinks he might one day get to have sex!

Ray tells Mohinder that the vigilante killed Darius to save the girl and that he did not get a good look at him. He also asks for immunity but I’m not sure how he thinks he will get it. Mohinder accuses him of not telling the complete truth. I am betting a thousand pennies that Mohinder is a part of Muirfield and might also be a rage monster (remember the hand tremor) [You are so smart! -M].

Any Means Possible

HOLD THE PHONE! So Twilight Muirfield agent calls Evan and is all you did a good thing last night silencing a witness before he could talk to the authorities and Evan and I are all SAY WHAT? Ray was found DEAD at the ball. Evan doesn’t correct him and is hired by Muirfield.

Did Mohinder kill Ray? Is he not as I just guessed part of Muirfield? Is he a vigilante wanting to find V to form some sort of justice league? Mohinder you better not try and turn this show into Heroes we will not be saving any cheerleaders!

Joe brings in the entire task force into a conference room and forms a justice league of his own to catch V. Mohinder is also part of task force. They then go to a press conference to announce to the city they will find the vigilante.

Any Means Possible

Cat goes to V’s to talk to him about what’s going on. She reaffirms her love for him and tells him she isn’t scared of him. Then the CW plays really bad music and Jay Ryan takes off Kristin Kreuk’s clothes and he does NOT turn into a rage monster. He almost does but her LOVE chills him out.

Next week the cops might find the warehouse!!!

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