Smart ladies love dumb TV, Beauty and the Beast recap, Bridesmaid Up!

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I’ve given up on my intro voiceover hate. The Golden Globes have done me wrong…

Bridesmaid Up!

Cat and Heather (her sister for those of you who might have forgotten) are throwing a bridal shower breakfast in honor her dad’s wedding that’s in two day. Cat is SOOOOO excited she tell Heather they are “Bridesmaiding it Up!” it’s adorable. What’s even more adorable is the banter she has with soul mate Vincent who is still “festive” his term after taking the serum that has stopped his black-outs. She wishes Vincent could go with her and then they joke about him getting ragey over pigs in the blanket and man I fucking love this show in its escapist brilliance. She says he could go as Vincent Zalanski who she went to kindergarten with in Denver and then he kills the mood by bringing her another case.

I fear that the case of the week might be gross; apparently Vincent came across a guy who reeked of blood including his suitcase. She gives the case to Tess because Cat has a party to throw, yo (sorry, sorry it just came out). Evan interrupts her and tells her several interesting things: 1) he wants her to go through security footage to find the guy posing as his intern (JT) and 2) that he is doing secret research on genetic mutation (is this real or is he just trying to cover up that he has been looking into the beast who kidnapped him).

Bridesmaid Up!

 

And back to the boring as all get out bridal shower breakfast in which I hate everyone except Cat and Heather and quite possibly new step-mom but I’m on the fence. Of course they ask Cat about her personal life and how she can go to a wedding alone. Then they brow beat her until she freaks out and tells them she is secretly dating a doctor named Vincent Zalanski, LOVE IT! Poor Cat had to “Bridesmaid Up!” JT is going to be UBER fucking pissed.

Back at the warehouse of despair everyone is happy. Vincent thinks he is cured and wants JT to make him angry to see if he gets all ragey. JT refuses more adorable banter ensues. I love happy go lucky Vincent.

Back to case of the week, what we know is that the guy Vincent smelled is a finance guy who is married to a high-end matchmaker. We also know that there is a dead finance guy who had a date last night set up by our beautiful matchmaker. Did her husband kill the dead finance guy? Joe tells the ladies that they may have a tip on the husband but they need to find the date first (100 pennies the date was the matchmaker). And for General Hospital fans the matchmaker is played by Rena Sofer aka Lois (who I loved) [I love Rena Sofer from Ed–hey, put that show on DVD, assholes! -M].

Bridesmaid Up!

So Cat doesn’t know that Vincent wants to go to the wedding and she is under pressure to find a date. Tess tells her to ask Evan but Evan is going with Heather BUT since they are dealing with a matchmaker who will most likely lawyer up the moment she smells cop Tess sends Cat in with her wedding sob story. Cat totally works her magic and finds out who the date was. Also because men don’t like whores you aren’t allowed to sleep with anyone until after 3 dates, FUN!

Cat goes home and has a heart to heart with Vincent who wants to take her to the wedding but alas she won’t let him because she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him because she didn’t want to go to a wedding alone. It’s hard being soul-mates with a super soldier who is in hiding from shadowy government types.

So here is why I am a bad recapper for this show I care very little about the case of the week and am totally invested in the relationships SO um I’m kind of confused by what they found out but Cat recapped it for Vincent, so here we go: apparently the husband was doing a deal with the dead guy but the deal fell through, the matchmaker feared for their livelihood so she killed him (the husband had an alibi) then the husband cleaned it up on his way home hence he smelled of blood.

Bridesmaid Up!

Whatever, the cute news is that Cat and her dad have a heart to heart at the rehearsal dinner so she has to take someone (she doesn’t want to worry him with her aloneness). She won’t take Vincent for fear of exposure so Vincent convinces her to take JT.

In Tess and Neal news Tess sees a vague image of JT and Neal gets an image from a sketch artist. So now Neal has a sketch of JT.

As JT is getting ready and of course complaining, Vincent is reading Cat’s profile for the matchmaker and realizes he is her ideal mate. We think Cat has been stood up she then tells the wedding party she has no boyfriend and then Vincent shows up and they dance and I’m a fucking sucker for a good romance.

Bridesmaid Up!

Of course everything turns to shit. Evan is studying DNA and Vincent’s in particular from the old cases including Cat’s mothers. Cat asks him if he has learned anything and indeed he has, apparently Vincent’s DNA is mutating becoming more of an animal. Vincent and Cat realize that they can never really been together BUT then Cat gives this really great wedding speech (not as good as the one I wrote for Melissa’s wedding that was TV themed, I know you’re SHOCKED) and realizes that she and Vincent DO make sense and she leaves the wedding.

Bridesmaid Up!

She is then in a car wreck with the matchmaker aka Rena Sofer (you deserve better than this part) who blames her for ruining her life (for proving that her husband was involved in a Ponzi scheme and was involved in that dudes death). After the matchmaker runs her off the road she pulls out a gun but our girl Cat is as fast a draw as Raylan Givens and kills Rena Sofer. She then collapses but Vincent gets her out of the car by going all ragey just as Evan and Heather drive up THEN. CUT. TO. BLACK.  NO FUCKING KISS…TEAR…

Even I think Vincent looks hot in a tux and as you know loyal readers I often have issues with his hair.

Even I think Vincent looks hot in a tux and as you know loyal readers I often have issues with his hair.

See you at the end of January!!!

Photos from the CW website, is it too much too ask that the promo department gives us a more varied collection of photos last week it was 5 shots of Vincent drinking a beer in FLASHBACK #1 and this week it was nothing but shots of the wedding.