Smart ladies love dumb TV, Beauty and the Beast recap, Saturn Returns

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OH the voice over opening, OH HOW I HATE YOU.

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Vincent is looking exceptionally hot this episode, but the hair is still terrible. Cat makes him feel like he has a life again but of course JT is dismissive but they go on a walk and talk about HIS love life (poor sad JT can’t have a girlfriend cause his BFF is a super soldier on the run and they live in a sketch warehouse). OH KNOW SUPER SOLDIER SENSE is up and Vincent goes to try and save the day. They go into a convenience store and save the day but I think Vincent was caught on camera.

It’s Cat’s birthday! The little sister quotes astrology as a reason Cat doesn’t want a party but of course she is throwing her a surprise party.

Things are slow at the precinct. A doctor comes in with a missing fiancée, Amy. It looks like she might have bolted but Cat says they might swing by to try and help. She then catches a look at a newspaper from the convenience store with VINCENT on it! Oh what to do!

"Saturn Returns"

Cat takes it to Vincent and JT’s. Vincent is a hero! Cat wants to get her hands on the video to make sure you can’t see Vincent and JT wants to go into ‘Phase B’ AKA video surveillance at the warehouse.

The world doesn’t make sense anymore this is why Cat doesn’t want a party. This is what happens to a girl when she meets her soul mate and he is a super soldier. And Tess and Heather (Cat’s sister I finally have learned her name) think Cat has a secret boyfriend, they are very observant girls.

Cat and Tess go and check out the guy’s apartment. It very suspicious because there are no pictures of the couple–it’s creepy clean and uber masculine. They find blood in the closet that matches the DNA from hair Cat found in the bathroom. The working theory is that the dude killed her and is staging the disappearance. AND the guy says she was clean because she was a Virgo, if you hadn’t noticed the episode is called Saturn Returns and we have had TWO astrology references in the first 17 minutes so expect many more! Man I wish I had been told it there was a drinking game involved 😉

"Saturn Returns"

The surveillance tape was clean. Cat and Vincent make a date for her birthday (but not a real date); I am going to feel super bad for him when she doesn’t show up because of her surprise party. She does notice that he doesn’t have any personal items up in the warehouse because he is on the run. She immediately realizes that that Amy may also be running from something, which could be why she bolted after seeing the announcement the dude put in the paper of their wedding.

While stealing items from the University he works at JT runs into the girl he likes. She asks him out for coffee and it’s very cute but he just stammers and says he has to go. Vincent tells JT he should have gone but then sad JT says that they can’t bring people they care about into their life cause of all the lies.

Amy is in Witness Protection, blah blah blah they are off the case. Cat then figures out Heather is planning a surprise party for her. Cat goes to Vincent’s to tell him she will meet him after the party. He tells her that she has a life and should go live it and that it’s too hard to keep his secret that JT tried and now he too lives in what I will now call the ‘warehouse of sad’.

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THIRD astrology reference, everyone drink. JOE, that’s the hot bosses name FINALLY! Thanks rented for the party photo booth party montage! Vincent stops by on the fire escape to bring Cat her present and sees hot British Evan kiss her. POOR SAD VINCENT let’s hope he doesn’t get too ragey! Vincent goes home and commiserates with JT then gets some sort of weird headache.

"Saturn Returns"

The marshal from witness protection knocks on the doctor’s door and kidnaps him. Turns out HE was not the marshal he in fact killed the marshal and Amy’s parents (they reason she was in witness protection). Cat and the gang track her to a hotel. She tells Cat all about her life on the run and how if Michael (doctor fiancé didn’t know his name till now) hides with her he would never be a doctor. Cat sees so much of her and Vincent in Amy and Michael. Cat kicks non-marshal’s ass without any help.

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Cat goes to see Vincent and tells him she knows that she will have to hide this part of her life but that’s her choice. She invites him to dinner. JT asks his cute girl for coffee YAY! Vincent gets ready and walks to Cat’s but has another weird headache. We see Cat alone and sad. The last scene is Vincent waking up on top of the Brooklyn Bridge…HOW DID HE GET THERE???

All pictures are from the CW

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