Smart ladies love dumb TV, Beauty and the Beast recap, Seeing Red

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Thank god we don’t start with the stupid voice over; instead, we get an abridged last two minutes of the last episode.

Cat has apparently been shot, I don’t remember that happening but it’s been so LONG since the last episode. Vincent sees Evan and Heather and leaves Cat on the road. Thank God Evan is a doctor because poor Cat is bleeding a lot. Both Evan and Heather saw Vincent at the scene and lurking by the side of the road but it’s so dark they don’t know what they saw.

Cat is rushed to the hospital AND of course Alex —Vincent’s ex-fiancé— is Cat’s nurse. Alex and Cat have a weird conversation where Alex over-shares about a love that got away (exposition is better shown than told show).

Seeing Red

Vincent shows up dressed as doctor (with a mask on) as Alex leaves and he and Cat talk. She thinks he saved her but Vincent being the ever chivalrous rage-monster he is tells her the truth: that he ripped off the car door but left her on the road because he couldn’t change back to him and that Evan is the one who really saved her. Cat tells Vincent she loves him, animal DNA and all. As he leaves he sees Evan bring Cat flowers and THEN Alex sees him as he takes off his mask —he hides just in time.

Evan and Cat banter about how they have each saved each other’s lives. Cat prods him on what he saw at the scene for damage control purposes so they know what they have to do to protect Vincent’s identity.

As Evan leaves Alex comes back to question Cat about the mysterious doctor (Cat’s room is like Grand Central Station with all of the people in and out). Cat lies that all he did was check her chart but then Alex sits down and tells Cat that the doctor that he is Vincent Keller and should be dead (the writers this week seriously need to work on how they dispense information because with all of her nervy over-sharing Alex is creeping me out).

JT! JT has been working on the issue of Vincent’s ever mutating DNA. He theorizes that it might be another step on the evolutionary chain and MAYBE Vincent is developing another superpower OR changing genders like a clownfish —oh JT how I’ve missed that dry sense of humor.

Seeing Red

Cat tells Vincent not to come back to the hospital, so of course he goes to the hospital. The two have a cozy conversation where he kind of explains who Alex is but doesn’t actually say “she was my fiancée”–way to be an honest rage-monster, Vincent. He then pops up in Alex’s car (this will not end well for any of them).

Vincent half ass explains to Alex where he has been and that there are dangerous people after him. She asks him about Cat and that bastard tells her that Cat is his police handler to protect him —LIES. Vincent, a chivalrous rage-monster would not tell lies like this. He then tells Alex to give up on him, that he wanted to contact her everyday but that it was easier to think of her as moving on. She then gently caresses his face and I want to throw something at the TV.

Seeing Red

We cut to TESS! Tess is visiting Cat for the first time. She apologizes about Rena Sofer being murderous and then tells Cat she kind of fooled around with JOE! And he is married! Oh Tess I would totally hit that too, Joe is so DREAMY! She catches Cat Facebook stalking Alex and like the awesome best friend she is taps into the NYC police database to do some real sleuthing, turns out Alex has a stalker —obviously other than Cat. Cat calls JT not because she thinks Alex has a pervy stalker but because she thinks Alex is being stalked by MUIRFIELD SHADOWY GOVERNMENT GOONS! She successfully freaks JT out because Vincent is not with him he is probably with Alex —JT is so smart.

Cat being the badass she is leaves the hospital and stops some pervy guy from killing Alex. He does seem to know who Vincent is so maybe Muirfield is employing pervy dudes to stalk people for them, maybe only pervy dudes will stalk people.

Alex takes Cat back to her apartment to clean her up and lets spill that she saw “Vince” and that he told her Cat was his handler (the look Cat gives here is priceless, it’s a combination of bitch please and I told that fucker I didn’t care about his mutating DNA). She confides in Cat about the mysterious break-in and that they didn’t take anything they just went through her closet. Cat then goes through her closet and finds letter from Vincent to Alex and that they were to be married. Vincent Keller you big fat LIAR!

Seeing Red

Vincent shows up and it is again reiterated that Cat is only his handler. Cat is all “Handler really!?!” and Vincent is all “I didn’t know what to say” and Cat looks like she wants to shot him but we have a damsel in distress and Cat is a badass so to the police station she goes to see the evidence the original cops took. Evan “world’s best guy friend” runs the evidence for Cat. It is also hinted at that Evan might have once been a surgeon before being a medical examiner. He finds out that the guy is not from Muirfield but is in fact a pervy stalker ex-con who tried to get drugs off Alex in the ER. Cat can’t arrest him because forensics would find Vincent’s DNA in her house and car.

Alex suggests they use her as bate and catch him in the act of attacking her?!? Because he has been secretly checking her email the send a fake one out that she is meeting her lover after work —I totally agree with Vincent this is a dumb plan. Creepy dude then sets off a small bomb in the ER and takes Alex —NOT A GOOD IDEA GANG!

Pervy guy takes Alex to the basement. Cat and Vincent follow because it is underground Vincent can’t hear very well so they split up. Cat finds them but because she is you know INJURED the guy overpowers her. Vincent appears as a giant hulking rage-monster and saves the day ALSO his new superpower is being able to see in the dark —HUZZAH! Vincent and Alex kiss as Cat walks in. POOR SAD CAT! Go date Evan–he is British, a nice guy and to my knowledge has not lied to you at all this episode except that I think he saw more of Vincent then he let on but at least he didn’t hide a fiancée! He also was once a surgeon and though he didn’t tell you the story he did say another time, its official Alex can have Vincent I’m now team Evan.

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JT and Vincent discuss his NEW night vision ability and how nice it must have been for him to save Alex. Vincent quickly changes the subject and sends JT scuttling back to the university where EVAN SHOWS UP! It turns out that Evan wrote a paper on crosspieces DNA and wants him to become his research partner!

Cut to Cat and Vincent and the fire escape of deep feelings. Cat is hesitant about them moving forward —as she should be— and Vincent is all “I’ve watched over you, I know you like bad boys since you can keep your distance and I am the ultimate bad boy” cause watching over someone isn’t CREEPY! Cat is like “you know you’re right I’ve got issues but I can’t get close to you until you sort out your feelings for your ex-fiancée”. AND SCENE…

Seeing Red

Will JT partner with Evan? Will Vincent ever realize that he is the douche in his relationship with Cat? Will Tess and Joe have hot sex? Find out next week for answers to probably none of these questions.

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