Okay so apparently someone dies or something big happens and I am watching this late cause of American Idol —GO DEVIN!— so this recap will be fraught with trying to find out who is going to die. Oh how I hope they held off on killing Alex for this week! I know many of you hope it’s Heather but I kind of like her daffiness —don’t kill me!
Melissa, we do have full VO (had it last week too) but I have come to accept it as reality.
Cat is concerned that because stupid Heather saw Vincent that they will have to make her give up her life like Alex. Vincent is all “no she barely saw me just say I’m some random dude from a bar.” Cat attempts this but Heather is TOO smart or more likely knows when her sister is lying and convinces Cat to invite him to dinner.
Cat goes to tell Vincent he has to have dinner with Heather (because her relationship with Tess is dunzo SOB) and they try to kiss again but are interrupted by JT —dear show just let them fuck already, though a commenter pointed out last week that that might NOT be a good thing given Vincent’s rage monster issues. JT wants to know what’s up with Evan since he hasn’t heard from him since they discovered the bugs in his office. Cat informs JT that Evan was dumped though we know that he was really recruited by Muirfield.
Evan is visited by a Muirfield operative who tries to “recruit” Evan to their “cause”. Evan continues to argue that he has no choice (showing he’s no dummy).
Vincent shows up for dinner. He brings Heather flowers and is willing to submit to her third degree (yada yada intense feelings, too intense had to go back to his ex, blah blah blah, snoozeville). Then Heather surprises them with JOE’S HOT AS FUCK BROTHER! It’s a double date with hot guy and rage monster! FUN!
After the commercial we are in the midst of the most awkward double date ever. At one point Cat awkwardly calls Vincent “honey” and Jay Ryan does a great job of looking like he might fall out of his chair in amusement and confusion—intentionally! BUT Hot Darius gets a text message and Vincent’s monster sense picks up that something is amiss (could this be case of the week?). Then Heather mentions that there is a picture of Vincent from their father’s wedding (so who gives a shit about sketchy Hot Darius when Muirfield could come in a kill them all). Vincent tries to get the proof from Heather’s bedroom but is caught. Heather tells him her instincts were correct and that she doesn’t trust him. Vincent leaves. Hey, at least he didn’t rip anybodies limbs off.
At the precinct Cat is greeted by Tess who is like “we need to talk” and Cat is all like “YAY we will be BFFs again over Starbucks”. But NO instead she is taken to an interrogation room where Cat and Tess have planned an intervention (an intervention is not an intervention without a sign ladies, geez Heather I thought you were an event planner) about Vincent. Cause according to Tess he doesn’t exist and SCENE.
I have no idea who is going to die OR what the case of the week is! I did read the synopsis on CW.com and apparently…
Heather goes missing and Vincent is forced to make a tough decision that saves her life.
INTERVENTION! The ladies point out that Vincent is toxic and that Cat has completely changed since meeting him (Heather says it’s hyper vigilance —Heather can suck it). Cat points out that this is all a misunderstanding and it’s not like their lives are all that perfect (she has a point, even though I stuck up for Heather at the top of the post she has been grating all episode and Tess is fucking her boss who also happens to be married). Tess is like bitch I’ll report you if you don’t dump his ass. Then two things happen: Hot Joe walks in and Vincent texts Cat.
Joe tells Tess that his wife is coming to his gala. He also tells her he is going to leave his wife after the party. [THEY NEVER LEAVE THEM. -M] Tess makes a funny Clinton joke about integrity —oh Tess I heart you even if you are a hypocrite.
When Cat meets Vincent in the alley its cause stupid fucking Heather posted a picture of him on Facebook. Okay here is the thing Heather has no boundaries when it comes to Cat. It is one thing to post pictures of your friends on Facebook but it’s just rude to post a picture of your sister’s possible boyfriend that you have only met TWICE. Now they have to put her under rage monster surveillance to keep her safe.
At the party Cat asks Heather for the flash drive of photos and tries to tell Heather that there is shit going down that Cat doesn’t want her involved in. Heather the idiot can’t believe Cat is picking Vincent over her AND that Cat is not a “normal” sibling. She also tells Cat that Vincent cost her a roommate. Nobody ever listens to Cat she tries and tries to tell them that she is protecting them but they don’t believe her. Has she ever lied to you before? I don’t think so!
We also see Hot Joe and Hot Darius with Joe’s wife and they do not look like they are headed to a divorce. Tess girl you are going to need your friend.
Heather is visibly upset so Hot Darius takes her for a joyride in his fancy car. UMMM Heather you are working at the gala you can’t just leave AND your sister got you that fucking job!
Cat finds Tess at the party stalking Hot Joe and his wife. Cat assumes that Heather talked to Tess about “picking Vincent” but Tess hasn’t seen Heather (she has problems of her own). Cat asks Tess for a “do over”, they remain partners, Cat shows Tess she isn’t dirty and then Tess tells Heather that Cat isn’t crazy. Tess won’t relent if Vincent is still in the picture.
Cat starts scanning surveillance video to find Heather. She sees Heather drive off with Hot Darius but also notices that a block SUV follows them. She phones Vincent who is on the case. Fly rage monster fly!
Evan corners her in the station on her way to search for Heather wanting to know why she won’t hunt the rage monster. She points out that it only kills criminals and that he should leave it be. [Also I like (Heathers?) dress, above, but her hair makes her look 40. -M]
Vincent finds Heather at one of Hot Darius’ clubs. Heather is fine; the dudes in the SVU were friends of Darius’. Cat apologizes and “fake” breaks up with Vincent for Heather’s benefit but Vincent gets all emo and is like maybe we should really break up cause we can never be normal —ROLL MY EYES. While this is going down Hot Darius is taken away at gun point by thugs (case of the week, finally).
Heather goes to look for Darius and is taken by the thugs. They knock her out and tell Darius to kill her to keep her quiet (apparently he owes them money, I’m guessing mob). Just as Darius is holding the gun at Heather, Vincent comes and attacks the mob dudes. He saves Heather BUT KILLS HOT DARIUS! FUCK that sucks! I was hoping we didn’t have to go through a pitchfork and torch wielding mob but if you kill the lieutenant’s brother that is the shit that happens. [I don’t understand why they would kill such a hot dude. This show is cruel. Also now Joe is NEVER going to leave his wife. -M]
OH NO SAD HOT JOE!
Well Cat I have no idea how you and JT are going to get Vincent out of this one. BUT I’M INTRIGUED! Good job show, killing someone we don’t really care about but who has ties to lots of characters. I also want to point out that Joe’s wife came with him to the crime scene —poor Tess.
Cat talks to Heather about what happened but Heather was knocked out when Darius tried to kill her so she is all “I really liked him”. She also says it’s like when her mom was murdered and I felt bad for her (that character might be annoying but the girl who plays her isn’t a bad actress). Tess comes to sit with Heather because Evan wants to talk to her. Evan shows her Darius and is all see he isn’t killing just criminals. Cat points out that Darius had a gun and might not have been innocent. Evan points out that the monster is circling Cat and she is just prey to a predator. Since Cat loves the monster she gets kind of pissed off.
Vincent is at his brothers grave and JT points out that Vincent saved Heather and that Darius was going to kill her. Vincent brings up the fact that because his brother was murdered (in 9/11) he enlisted and took experimental drugs for revenge. He points out that Joe will not stop seeking vengeance. JT points out that Cat will protect him but Vincent is hesitant because it is more lies she will have to tell.
MORE SAD HOT JOE!
Evan joins Muirfield.
Vincent breaks up with Cat because he wants her to have normal. But she points out that her normal is with him and tells him she loves him. And finally they fucking kiss.
NOOOOO! No new episodes until March 14th! Hot Joe is drinking at his desk and bringing on trigger happy cops! There is a masquerade ball! AND it looks like Vincent gets all ragey in the sack with Cat (oh commenters you are so smart). See you on the 15th!!!