Smart ladies love dumb TV, Beauty and the Beast recap, Trapped

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OH GOD the full voice over introduction this week KILL ME…

Every promo picture is practically a photo of Jake Ryan in fatigues. I hope you enjoy it. Not one in his pea coat though and that my friends is a tragedy.

This week in case-of-the-week land we have a Justin Beiber-esqe singer who is shot at. Its attempted MURDER (can you imagine if this really happened to the Biebs). I will for the duration of this recap refer to him as J.Biebs (for you Melly, for you) [thank you, I am honored -M].

Cat keeps texting JT for Vincent status updates and is getting no answer (SO RUDE!). JT wants her to come over so that she can trigger an attack and they can study it to synthesize a treatment. I’m shocked that JT is actually FOR this idea and Vincent is hesitant. JT wisely points out that Cat has seen him at his worst and hasn’t run; she is obviously a keeper (this last bit is mine because I actually like Cat, she is tough).

Imposter J Biebs is sooooo ANOYING…he calls Cat, “Cat in the Hat”. Is it too much to ask for a faux Drake, I love me wheelchair Jimmy. His manager (for now referred to as Scooter Braun, J Biebs real manager and also the manager of The Wanted) tells the ladies that apparently J Biebs is getting hate mail. Who would send J Biebs hate mail (its rhetorical Melissa). Poor Tess has to endure protection duty with J Biebs. Imagine the real Bieber and multiply that by 1000 and that’s how annoying this kid is, POOR TESS, indeed. FAKE J Biebs is in a twitter feud…SHOCKER!

Cat goes to see Evan who is still having issues with the events of last week (AKA being kidnapped by a weird psychopath intern). He is skeptical that she didn’t see anything or know anything about the vigilante who saved him. She makes him sift through teeny bopper hate mail.

JT doses up Vincent and locks him in a cage and we get FLASHBACK #1. Vincent is first dosed with super soldier juice by non-other than Cat’s mom. OH NOES!

Vincent barely has any memories from his time in Afghanistan. JT believes the memories were suppressed by Muirfield. Vincent wants to keep Cat in the dark about her mom but JT is adamant she would want to know. Even JT is on team soul mates this week.

First Cat is like my mother was never in Afghanistan but then she is all like that secret shadowy government guy showed me a picture of her with Muirfield scientists. JT and Vincent are pissed she didn’t tell them sooner but she thought that guy might have been lying (this is true he was secret and shadowy you can’t believe those people they are totally up to no good). They induce another black out…

FLASHBACK #2, this time with BEER! He also is the with a hot girl who wigs out (the same thing that has been happening to Vincent they keep calling is a fugue state but that makes me giggle) and breaks a table. She is given serum by Cat’s mom and taken away.

We immediately move on to FLASHBACK #3 and this time we get Jake Ryan lifting weights. Cat’s mom is there (can I just say that boy needs to cut his hair it is WAY better in the flashbacks and it might also be an ill fitting wig if an ill fitting wig is better than your current haircut it is time to get a new stylist). She asks him questions about how he is feeling. She also tells him she joined this project to protect her daughters (I guess from terrorists but AWWWW she is dosing her daughter’s soul mate with super soldier serum for her own safety, boy did that backfire, HILARIOUS and SAD). Vincent is concerned for hot girl. Cat’s mom tells him these black outs might happen to all of them at some point and are a side effect of the treatment. Cat is NOT the cause! UMMMM but Cat’s mom is dead how will we make the serum, Cat vows to find the serum in her mother’s files.

 

Cat goes to her dad to find her mother’s files. He locked them away because her mother worked for the government and did super secret stuff. He was worried about what he would find there. Now see here is a dude who clearly knows that if you wife does super secret shadowy government shit you lock that crap from your nosey daughters. He gives her the key because she plays the “I’ve always blamed myself for her death but now it could be a secret shadowy government conspiracy, DAD.” Smartly played Catherine, smartly played.

NOW WE HAVE FAKE DRAKE who is in the twitter feud with fake J Biebs. I have zero tolerance for the slang these kids are using. Tess is also done. He points her in fake Scooter Braun’s direction. They think he might have staged the shooting as a publicity stunt.

Cat goes through her mom’s stuff with JT face-chatting in (for technical support I mean he is a scientist). They banter it’s funny. Turns out he needs some sort of equipment that the lab at the police station has. She breaks him in and buys him sometime to make a serum. I do NOT have a bad feeling about this; nope I think this will work out fine. JT would not survive in jail and think of his poor coffee friend.

Cat forces poor Tess to stay with the idiot J Biebs and takes Evan (so JT can sneak into the forensics lab) with her to check out the manager’s office. They do find an autobiography the manager is writing where the last chapter is ominously about the death of J Biebs. Tess and J Biebs spot JT when she takes him to see a corpse. JT wisely puts on a lab coat and Tess just walks by him. Tess might be terrible at her job.

The biggest thing though is that when JT gets back to the warehouse with the serum, Vincent has escaped from his pen. HE is also FULL ON RAGE MONSTER AND FLASHBACK #4…Vincent saves Cat’s mom because she was against the super soldiers being murdered. Cat talks Vincent out of being a rage monster. Hopefully JT will be nicer to her. Vincent takes the serum even though JT wanted to test it first. It is VERY emotional.

ALSO they are all of him with the beer in his hand!!!

J Biebs, Cat and Tess lay a trap for fake Scooter Braun. Tess beats the crap out of the hitman. I love these ladies. Poor sad J Biebs, his manager tried to kill him. J Biebs tricked out Tess’ squad car it is very cute. She also lets Evan know that she saw his new “intern” in the lab he plays like he has one. WEIRD!

Cat and her dad have a touching moment, touching but boring. She then goes and puts flowers on her mother’s grave. She vows to clean up her mother’s mess (Vincent) and to make it right. Vincent is watching her and then they talk. The serum works. He looks hot in a pea coat though so there’s that. The vow to live in the now and not the past and they don’t kiss.

Next week they go to a wedding together!!!

All photos from the CW

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