Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays #UnitedSatsofAmerica

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Although another episode aired on Monday, I was out seeing a friend’s band so I don’t have time to include it in this review. I will post it later in the week instead!

The Saturdays 2

The Saturdays are a five member, all girl, British pop group. I have been following them on 3am for some time and have become kind of obsessed with them without ever hearing their music. [They were the girl group I covered in my British Invasion posts located here and here! -K]

Chasing the Saturdays begins with the girls having some Visa troubles at the American consulate because their manager Peter submitted their topless photos from an album shoot as their Visa photos. Ooops? I guess they figure it out, as the girls then move to Los Angeles to try to make it in America like their friends The Wanted. Have The Wanted really made it here? I find this claim dubious. [YES!  Well at least they have made it to Northern Virginia where Brooke is there biggest fan! -K]

We are introduced to the five girls, and here is what I know about them from seeing them on TV for 21 minutes and reading about them on British gossip sites:

Mollie The Saturdays
Mollie: The cutest and only single one. She is blonde, dresses the best and seems to be the center of the show. However, this is probably because her search for love is the most interesting storyline. She says the girls call her a “Disney character” because she is so positive. That is so vague. My nickname is going to be “Game of Thrones character” but I won’t tell you who so I can be mysterious (just kidding, I’m probably Rickon; that kid is so fucking weird).

Frankie The Saturdays

Frankie: Until a week ago, I only knew Frankie’s name of all the girls. She has short, swoopy hair and has appeared on reality TV before as a member of S Club 8 and also with her former flame, McFly’s Dougie Poynter. Frankie has struggled with depression and was hospitalized for a month in 2011; Mollie calls her “sunshine and showers” for her two-sided personality.

Rochelle The Saturdays

Rochelle: I call her “girl married to JLS guy” (his name is Marvin apparently and he is really hot). She is the most beautiful of all the girls, resembling a mid-90s supermodel who wears really good lipstick. She was also in S Club 8 with Frankie.
Una The Saturdays

Una: Irish redhead married to a footballer who has a nine month old, so her mom moves to LA with her to watch Aoife Belle (pronounced like Eva, which makes it the coolest name ever). I’m hoping for some old fashioned E! family hijinks but she seems a little too mature for that. [Una is in her thirties while all the other girls are in their early twenties this makes her my favorite! -K]

Vanessa The Saturdays

Vanessa: I don’t get Vanessa. She dresses like Taylor Dayne circa 1987 and wears the harshest makeup. From the show I learned she is the youngest Saturday and she likes to party. She has a really strong voice, but generally I have ignored her.

Not many things happened in this episode, which is a hallmark of any E! reality series. The girls moved into their new suites (part of a larger penthouse in downtown L.A.) and everyone is pissed Vanessa has so much closet space, probably because she fills it with scrunchies, giant hoop earrings, and J Lo’s wardrobe from 15 years ago. [Why are all her clothes too small? You are tiny Vanessa you can go up a size! -K]

They go out with their manager Peter and eat smoothies/milkshakes, which makes me curse my lactose intolerance since I crave milkshakes all the time. Anyway, Peter tells the girls they are not only going to the VMAs but they are going to perform at Perez Hilton’s afterparty!!! Una and Mollie both interview how they have always wanted to go to the VMAs and the girls are really surprised, like they didn’t know E! was totally setting this up for them.

The girls are taught a whole new routine together for their new single by a guy in a hideous striped shirt.  I learn that dancing maybe isn’t their greatest strength. Una appears to have crazy abs, despite having a baby less than a year ago. I have a ton of respect for her and her workouts.

Una abs

At the VMA red carpet the girls wear a bunch of fug white clearance prom dresses from Macy’s:

The Saturdays VMAs

Do these women not have stylists? I do not understand why they always look so terrible. [They must have the cheapest and WORST stylist ever cause the outfits they have been wearing this week to preform their new song –I can’t remember the title– and to shill the show have been TERRIBLE! -K]

A short montage of interviews is shown, including one where the interviewer asks the girls to sing for her. The microphone logo was mildly blurred out but we all know it was E!, which means this moment was completely fake. I hate being good at reality TV; it makes everything less enjoyable.

Then they change again and make it to Perez’ party, where they all hug him, despite the fact that he’s wearing a  Rihanna tee shirt with a parody Nirvana logo on it. I feel kind of sick. [Perez Hilton is a terrible human being! I also felt sick when Baz Lurhman turned “Smells Like Teen Spirit” into a musical number for Moulin Rouge –why was that necessary!?! -K]

Rihanna Nirvana tee

Then The Sats perform to a bunch of screaming dudes wearing crystal-studded Barbie necklaces (this happened) who love our girls. Or appear to, because you never know with E!

The cutest part of the show is when Frankie, who has been homesick and hating her $1500 grey settee in her apartment, hears a knock at her door and it’s Mollie with a new couch! Once some producers move it into her living room, the two girls cuddle on it. Frankie points to the remote and Mollie says “Why do I know it’s me who’s going to get it?” EXACTLY, MOLLS.

In forthcoming episodes, we will learn Rochelle is pregnant, Una has some kind of family crisis, Mollie is in search of a new man, Frankie has an anxiety attack , and Vanessa is JUST THERE, DRINKING A LOT. I fear I will never truly know who Vanessa is, even after a whole season of this show. I am sad. [Vanessa’s tiny clothes make me sad. -K]

All photos of the girls are from the Chasing the Saturdays Facebook page except the screencap by me.

2 Comments

  1. As the president of the NOVA fanclub for The Wanted, I can say they have been doing pretty well so far. They had the number one single of 2012 and managed to not be a one-hit-wonder with the current number one song on a dance charts. Nothing says they’ve made it, though, like touring with Justin Beiber. And they have just started filming their own E! reality series!

    I watched some videos of the performances at Perez’s party. The people on Youtube were much less excited than the people on E! were to watch The Sats perform… maybe because it looked like they spent no more than the two minutes shown on tv rehearsing for that performance.

    • Oooh I can’t wait–you know I love an E! reality series! I have a hard time gauging UK exports’ popularity in the states because of all the UK gossip I read. Like, Cheryl Cole isn’t a household name here? Whhhhaaaaaa???

      Thanks for the tips about the Perez party thing, I’m totally putting them in my next post & will credit you.

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