Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays recap, #DeepFriedSats

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This week on Chasing the Saturdays (episode 4!!!) we heard three sentences from Rochelle and Una had the most boring story ever. At least Vanessa is growing on me! Also this episode is called #deepfriedsats. Just marinate on how disgusting that sounds.

Moving on.

SatsBreakfast

Mollie’s getting more booze in that mimosa!

The girls sit at the breakfast table (with one end free for the camera guy so it always looks awkward) and tease Mollie about how terrible her American accent is. She does a few versions (valley girl, “your top is so cuuuuute”, and something that may be racist) and the girls are right, she should stick to her cute British accent I am fully jealous of.

SatsPool

At the pool, in which only Mollie is swimming (can I tell you again how envious I am of everyone with good weather and access to a pool?), Peter, who I have not missed at all, comes up to them and asks if they’d like to play TigerHeat, a gay club night in L.A.

SatsPeterPants

Peter’s pants are so fucking hideous.

The girls complain about having to do more work. I hope they are fucking joking because working at a university for pennies is no picnic and I want to punch them and steal their pool.

[I looked up TigerHeat as a service to you, and found that it’s a Thursday-only dance night at Avalon in Hollywood. The promoters do other events in the area but TigerHear is the largest weekly gay dance event on the west coast. The DJs play pop and Top 40 music and there are male gogo dancers! Over 2000 people attend every week. After researching this I want to go there now.]

Here is their performance:

SatsUnaPhone
Boring mom Una talks to hot footballer husband Ben on the phone and tells him about Aoife and all the cute baby stuff she’s been doing.  Hottie Ben gets sad because his wife and baby left him, but don’t worry!

SatsUnaBaby2

AHH CHUBBY BABY CHEEKS!

Una has an idea to make Ben feel better and it involves Frankie working a FlipCam while she feeds baby Aoife Belle. It’s adorable and the baby does not seem interested in eating this “porridge” but I think this video diary idea is heartwarming.
And that’s all of Una’s story for the whole week.

SatsMollieLaptop
Mollie is looking for something to do and see that The Wanted are playing the LA County Fair and since they are friends with our heroines, The Saturdays plan a trip to Pomona to see their pals. This entire thing seems completely staged. I’m sure Max George would call her if he was coming to town.

SatsUnaHorror

This is Una’s reaction to the phrase “chocolate covered bacon.”

Mollie is particularly obsessed with the idea of fried butter and discusses a myriad of grody things with Una. I don’t like fried things at fairs so the idea of fried butter makes me want to puke and I gag my way through the rest of this episode.

SatsBet

A bet is placed.

In bus on the way there Mollie tries to talk about corn dogs in her bad American accent. She and Vanessa start a bet: convince 3 people you’re from Pomona or you have to eat fried butter.
“With fried butter at stake I’m telling you now I’m not losing this bet.”–Molllie.
There is a montage of Americans believing Mollie is really from Pomona, which makes us seem really stupid, including this fool:
SatsFair
Mollie couldn’t find fried butter for the bet but she ordered fried pineapple, which sounds even less appetizing than fried butter.

SatsMolliefried

This could be the cover of Mollie’s 70s-influenced country album about fried foods.

SatsFrankieFried

Rightfully, Frankie thinks deep fried pineapple tastes like shit.

Why you gotta do that to pineapple? What did it do to you?

The girls meet with The Wanted, in a field behind some tents. I don’t know these dudes names yet except Max George because he was once Hot Dude of the Week.

SatsWantedWall

They play pretty big venue at fair. The producers showed no singing at concert (saving it for The Wanted’s new show, huh, E!), just the girls sadly clapping in front of a short white wall.

SatsHairandMakeup

“Getting [their] hair and makeup done.” By themselves.


To prepare for TigerHeat, the girls say they are going “into hair and makeup,” which just means they sit in a room and do it all themselves. E! needs to give them a beauty budget.

They say they like to perform at gay clubs because they tell them if they’re good or not. This seems like a generalization but I will overlook it.

SatsIngenue

A drag queen named Ingenue (of course) greets The Sats and tells them they play their music all the time at TigerHeat! I’ll bet this is a lie like everything else in this show.

SatsFrankieSad

In the club, Vanessa goes crazy dancing; Frankie is uncomfortable and grabs Mollie goes to exit. She breaks down in stairway and is having a panic attack. As someone who has panic attacks, her reaction  is pretty genuine, especially in her interview after the attack.

SatsFrankieFreakout

I’m so glad they translate this stuff.

So this is what I hate about these reality shows: there’s a segment where Frankie freaks out, then a commercial; then we see talking about Frankie no performance, just a panic attack, then a commercial break AGAIN. Nothing really happened.

SatsTigerHeat

SPARKLY!

Of course Frankie’s fine! She rocks the performance, the club is crowded (from reading about TigerHeat, it seems like people go regardless of who’s playing) and people supposedly scream.

SatsFriedButter

Oh goodness no.

Mollie makes Vanessa fried butter on the stove– it did not look deep fried but more sautéed. Vanessa says if she eats it she will die of heart disease the Saturdays will lose their best member.

SatsButterLaugh

Fried butter is inherently hilarious.

SatsWine

I would also need to down a bunch of wine before I ate that shit, Vanessa.

Next week: Vanessa and Una get drunk! Right now I’m excited but I’m sure the show will be edited weird with too many commercial breaks and nothing will actually happen.

BONUS BABY AOIFE:

SatsUnaBaby

I can’t handle the cuteness and I don’t like babies.