My husband says this show would be better if it was called Chasing the Sundaes. They’re not in a musical group but the show is just ladies eating ice cream, going to photo shoots (??) and running after ice cream. I don’t think any of this makes sense but I just feel there aren’t enough shows about ice cream so I am 100% behind this idea.
Re: the episode name, I hope someone gets a tattoo for reals. [Future Melissa is really disappointed that the tattoo part sucked.]
The episode opens with Mollie, Vanessa and Frankie getting really excited by fro yo.
Vanessa’s must have cost $15, as it is HUGE. Vanessa can’t stop coughing–I guess she’s choking on some pistachios. Frankie says “oh she loves her nuts” and pats her on the back.
The girls go to a pumpkin farm and there is some kind of hay race competition between Mollie and Vanessa and I could not keep up with what was actually happening due to terrible editing.
Ben came back to Los Angeles and Una showed him around her “penthouse” AKA two-bedroom apartment.
She shows Ben the wall partitions and says she can hear her mom cough in the other bedroom. Ben asks if her mom with be able to hear them having sex. Then they show this unfortunate pic of Una’s mom.
Frankie and Tor go to–surprise!–the same nail salon the girls went to earlier in the season.
Frankie’s sister is so excited–they’re talking about all the touristy things they are going to do. They are reminiscing to their younger years–Tor always got away with doing “cheeky” things and Frankie got in trouble.
The girls decide to get matching tattoos but worry their parents will be mad because they’re apparently like 16. Well at least Frankie will get in trouble it seems.
Also, Tor’s hair is looking much better. Congrats, lady!
Una is relieved to be in the studio again since it’s so cramped in the apartment. I still don’t think they live in a penthouse.
There is some kind of terrible rapping is happening in the studio and I want to mute it so bad. They show it multiple times and I decide that I never want to hear it again.
However, the producers are certainly jamming out to it.
Mollie volunteers to babysit so Una and Ben can have some couple time. Maybe Una’s mom will get some alone time too.
The girls have been invited to Adam Levine’s Halloween party (if they can procure tickets, surely K and I can too!). Adam the Management Coordinator (where’s PETER??) tells them to be appropriate and serious but not too sexy. Adam, do you know these girls at all? Plus they’re at Trashy Lingerie. How is that place NOT slutty? (You have to pay $2 a year to shop there which is a fucking RACKET.)
I think these are supposed to be toy soldier outfits but they are so fug. Una keeps her hand in front of her crotch since her pants are apparently see-through.
Thus begins the most fun part of the show ever. Halloween costume try on! If I edited this show, I would have made this a montage set to a fun pop song, like Brendan Benson’s “Poised and Ready.”
Cut to another day… Una and Ben hand the baby over to her aunties. She cries immediately. Rochelle bounces the baby around and it’s fucking adorable.
Mollie tries to sing her a song, “Aoife Belle, she just loves her Auntie Moll; Who’s her favorite auntie, if it’s Mollie, give her a smile.” The kid bawls.
These two are getting dove tattoos based on some inane explanation Frankie gives. She is squirming in pain because they’re getting it on their feet instead of on like a normal fatty body part. SO BAD.
Right after they get the tats their dad calls. “It’s like he knows!” They don’t appear to answer it.
Ben and Una drink champagne on a rooftop with a giant fire element.
They apparently met online or were introduced by friends because they mention they chatted on the phone before they met up!
Una calls the girls and Rochelle tells her it’s all under control even though Aoife is screaming in the background.
Rochelle says, Looking after Aoife makes me really want a kid but it will be hard to juggle being a mom and being in The Saturdays. [Again, does she know she’s pregnant? This is very fishy.]
The girls return Aoife the next day. Mollie shows off her singing to Una and Aoife screams again. Babies like Mollie as much as they like me!
Paps are taking pictures of Una, Ben and Aoife on the Venice Beach boardwalk. I think they take pictures of anyone who has cameras following them. American paps don’t care who The Saturdays are!
Ben says he could get used to being in L.A. I could too if I had access to a pool every day. Please buy me a pool. My backyard is like .1 acres but there might be some room.
“America, get ready for Halloween, Saturdays style!” -Mollie
ADAM IS TOTALLY READY.
The girls dress as five devils. Adam loves the costumes and think they look like a proper band. Vanessa’s hair and makeup are bananas. It is different from all the other girls. She says “I look like the freakiest little bitch you’ve ever seen.” Ummm ok?
WHO WAS AT THE PARTY?? Was it just for a plot like Khloe’s recent addiction and sudden cold turkey quitting of Cuban coffee? They don’t show anything else and I am left super disappointed.
Next episode: Vanessa has throat problems, The Sats perform at the Roxy and Rochelle wants to go visit Marvin!