Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays recap #SatsAndTats

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My husband says this show would be better if it was called Chasing the Sundaes. They’re not in a musical group but the show is just ladies eating ice cream, going to photo shoots (??) and running after ice cream. I don’t think any of this makes sense but I just feel there aren’t enough shows about ice cream so I am 100% behind this idea.

Re: the episode name, I hope someone gets a tattoo for reals. [Future Melissa is really disappointed that the tattoo part sucked.]

SatsVanessaFroYo1

The episode opens with Mollie, Vanessa and Frankie getting really excited by fro yo.

SatsVanessaFroYo2

Vanessa’s must have cost $15, as it is HUGE. Vanessa can’t stop coughing–I guess she’s choking on some pistachios. Frankie says “oh she loves her nuts” and pats her on the back.

SatsFarm

I didn’t even feel like taking real screencaps here.

The girls go to a pumpkin farm and there is some kind of hay race competition between Mollie and Vanessa and I could not keep up with what was actually happening due to terrible editing.

SatsBenUna

Ben came back to Los Angeles and Una showed him around her “penthouse” AKA two-bedroom apartment.

SatsBabyAoife

She shows Ben the wall partitions and says she can hear her mom cough in the other bedroom. Ben asks if her mom with be able to hear them having sex. Then they show this unfortunate pic of Una’s mom.

SatsUnaMom

Frankie and Tor go to–surprise!–the same nail salon the girls went to earlier in the season.

SatsFrankieTorSalon

Frankie’s sister is so excited–they’re talking about all the touristy things they are going to do. They are reminiscing to their younger years–Tor always got away with doing “cheeky” things and Frankie got in trouble.

The girls decide to get matching tattoos but worry their parents will be mad because they’re apparently like 16. Well at least Frankie will get in trouble it seems.

Also, Tor’s hair is looking much better. Congrats, lady!

Una is relieved to be in the studio again since it’s so cramped in the apartment.  I still don’t think they live in a penthouse.

SatsRapping

There is some kind of terrible rapping is happening in the studio and I want to mute it so bad. They show it multiple times and I decide that I never want to hear it again.

SatsProducersDancing

However, the producers are certainly jamming out to it.

Mollie volunteers to babysit so Una and Ben can have some couple time. Maybe Una’s mom will get some alone time too.

SatsAdam

The girls have been invited to Adam Levine’s Halloween party (if they can procure tickets, surely K and I can too!). Adam the Management Coordinator (where’s PETER??) tells them to be appropriate and serious but not too sexy.  Adam, do you know these girls at all? Plus they’re at Trashy Lingerie. How is that place NOT slutty? (You have to pay $2 a year to shop there which is a fucking RACKET.)

SatsCostumeSoldier

I think these are supposed to be toy soldier outfits but they are so fug. Una keeps her hand in front of her crotch since her pants are apparently see-through.

Thus begins the most fun part of the show ever. Halloween costume try on! If I edited this show, I would have made this a montage set to a fun pop song, like Brendan Benson’s “Poised and Ready.”

SatsCostumeSport

These look so cheap. I would not spend $2 to try these on.

SatsCostumeRacecar

I think Rochelle is a racecar drive but I have no idea what Frankie is supposed to be.

SatsCostumeSnowWhite

SatsRochelleJasmine

Adam told Rochelle this was a Jasmine costume but Rochelle (rightly) stated that Jasmine wore purple! She also wore green but that is neither here nor there.

SatsUnaFairy

Una as an elfin girl (Poison Ivy???) is SO CUTE.

SatsBabyDate

Cut to another day… Una and Ben hand the baby over to her aunties. She cries immediately. Rochelle bounces the baby around and it’s fucking adorable.

SatsBabyHandOff

SatsAoifeCry

Mollie tries to sing her a song, “Aoife Belle, she just loves her Auntie Moll; Who’s her favorite auntie, if it’s Mollie, give her a smile.” The kid bawls.

SatsGirlsTattoo

These two are getting dove tattoos based on some inane explanation Frankie gives. She is squirming in pain because they’re getting it on their feet instead of on like a normal fatty body part. SO BAD.

SatsAndTats

I am generally not a fan of white ink.

Right after they get the tats their dad calls. “It’s like he knows!” They don’t appear to answer it.

SatsBenUnaDinner

Ben and Una drink champagne on a rooftop with a giant fire element.

They apparently met online or were introduced by friends because they mention they chatted on the phone before they met up!

SatsMollieBabyScream

Una calls the girls and Rochelle tells her it’s all under control even though Aoife is screaming in the background.

Rochelle says, Looking after Aoife makes me really want a kid but it will be hard to juggle being a mom and being in The Saturdays. [Again, does she know she’s pregnant? This is very fishy.]

SatsUnaHappy

The girls return Aoife the next day. Mollie shows off her singing to Una and Aoife screams again. Babies like Mollie as much as they like me!

SatsPaps

Paps are taking pictures of Una, Ben and Aoife on the Venice Beach boardwalk. I think they take pictures of anyone who has cameras following them. American paps don’t care who The Saturdays are!

SatsVeniceBeach

Ben says he could get used to being in L.A. I could too if I had access to a pool every day. Please buy me a pool. My backyard is like .1 acres but there might be some room.

SatsAdamHalloween

Stay classy, Adam.

“America, get ready for Halloween, Saturdays style!” -Mollie

ADAM IS TOTALLY READY.

SatsVanessaDevil

It looks like she is wearing a visor.

The girls dress as five devils. Adam loves the costumes and think they look like a proper band. Vanessa’s hair and makeup are bananas.  It is different from all the other girls. She says “I look like the freakiest little bitch you’ve ever seen.” Ummm ok?

SatsGirlsDevils

WHO WAS AT THE PARTY?? Was it just for a plot like Khloe’s recent addiction and sudden cold turkey quitting of Cuban coffee? They don’t show anything else and I am left super disappointed.

Next episode: Vanessa has throat problems, The Sats perform at the Roxy and Rochelle wants to go visit Marvin!

2 Comments

  1. 1. I think I need to arrange any sort of business meeting or meaningful conversation I need to have to take place in a nail salon. They always look like they have so much fun in there.

    2. Why is the only peep of we’ve seen or heard of Frankie’s boyfriend been at the airport in London when the flew back? It’s a damn shame because he’s gorgeous (and I’m sure intelligent, charming, talented, etc, etc). At least Vanessa missed her boyfriend and attempted to talk to him on the phone when she first arrived.

    • 1. Agreed, especially when you can bring booze to the salon.
      2. I have wondered that myself. She barely even talks about him. Una can’t go 30 seconds without mentioning Ben and/or Aoife.

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