Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays recap, #SatsForever

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I’m upset that Chasing the Saturdays is ending. Partially because I’ve really really enjoyed recapping it for y’all and partially because now I have to come up with things to post about on Tuesdays. I’m considering a weekly list of all the cuss words from Veep.

The Saturdays 2

Unrelated to the show, our girls have their first number one single in the UK! Congratulations, ladies!

There’s a short recap of the season. I have a feeling we’re going to go through this again before the night ends.

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Peter (always with the laptop) asks girls at the pool: has anyone heard from Rochelle? No one has. He claims he texted and called her with no response. This is unlike Rochelle so this is either 1.) made up or 2.) a ruse showing what a desperate loser Peter is.

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Everyone is dying to know if Rochelle’s pregnant. I’m still finding it odd that she’s not telling her besties about this immediately.

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Then the conversation goes to Vanessa, who is criticized for wearing Mollie’s shirt. WHO CARES. I would rather watch 15 more seconds of Peter complaining.

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Rochelle and Marvin are at the doctors, nervously awaiting the baby verdict, since they can’t afford EPT but they can afford a trip halfway across the world to pee on a stick. Rochelle is fanning herself and the doctor says she IS pregnant. She and Marvin smooch and it’s adorable.

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Then they go out to dinner–it has to be the same night because they’re wearing the same clothes. This pleases me greatly. The pair reject some baby names: London (it’s not cool if you live there, though they like that it’s unisex) and Chelsea (too much like football). Then they move on to girl names: Rochelle the 2nd and Marvelle. I hope they go with Marvelle.

SatsPeterLaptop

Rochelle shows up and tells the girls she’s pregnant. Peter is pouting in the corner. Is he in love with her? Or just pissed that she’s knocked up and won’t make money for a few months? Even Adam is excited for her.

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The gang meets with Rodney Jerkins (who is two years older than me but looks ten years older) the producer to try to record a song that Rodney might give to them if he likes what they do. So they’re auditioning to be able to record the worst song ever. Case in point: the lyrics to “Lease My Love”:

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I don’t know if I like the love and real estate combination for a song. It’s bizarre. Rodney DID produce “The Boy is Mine” so he at least has some credibility.

The girls say said they did their best at the studio. There is no question that they will get the song because why else is this in the show?

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The Saturdays are asked to play Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which is HUGE but Leno is not really known for cutting edge and/or good musical acts.

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Rochelle is really prego. This was in January and she announced the baby in November. There is some weird editing and playing with time going on here but I’m too tired to figure it out.

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Peter tells the girls backstage that Rodney has made a decision on “Lease My Love”: We got the song! It’s great news! Peter first pumps!

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The Sats go to a fan signing in New York at the NBC store, which I totally recognize because I made Katie go there with me last time we went to NYC so I could buy 30 Rock “Who Dat Ninja?” magnets for everyone I know.

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Frankie has the cutest crazed fans. I seriously want to hang out with this girl.

Mollie is so happy and thinks this means the band is close to world domination.

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She talks to this adorable gay dude about coming to their NYC show. I’m obsessed with him.

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Rochelle and Una are talking about being pregnant. It’s really precious. Rochelle is worried about juggling work and having Peter rearrange things based on the pregnancy. Peter was mad at Una too when she announced. Peter sounds like a giant asshole. Una tells her some girls make it look easy but it’s really not. It does get better!

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Rochelle has a tough time getting up early for The Today Show, but she wants to reassure Peter she can do this while pregnant. Kathie Lee makes an ass of herself twice, asking Mollie about Prince Harry and then telling The Sats, “I don’t know what took you five years to get on an airplane.”

Performance at the The Highline Ballroom (coming up: a loser from The Voice and a Daft Punk tribute act!). Peter claims there are 50 people from the label and so many advertisers are at the show.

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Vanessa asks the audience they’re ready to party before they come on stage! I’M READY, GIRL.

They have track problems on “Issues” and have to stop the show. It really takes you out of the action when there’s a problem like that. It wouldn’t happen if they had a live band. I will learn an instrument if you hire me, Peter! I like traveling!

Mollie says leaving five girls onstage with nothing is “like James Bond without his weapons.”

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They are forced to do it acoustic, with Una. They’ve done this before so I think it was totally a set up.

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I’m so enamored of the people in the audience singing along.

This season will end on a high point.  Peter is even smiling after the show. Rochelle now knows she can be in the band while also being pregnant!It’s a wonderful day!

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Peter gives Rochelle a gift (a plastic rattle) to show his support of her pregnancy. AWWWW.

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Think of America as their second home. Nothing can stop the five seven of them (oops, Peter AND Adam are there). Each girl interviews about how hard it’s been and how they have each other’s back blah blah blah. This is all scored to “Lease My Love.” YEEEUUCKKKK.

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CHEERS! This shot has the Barbara Walters filter on it.

AGAIN NO BABY AOIFE. Seriously, you couldn’t give the people what they want in the finale?

I know what will make up for it. Here are some bonus screencaps from Ryan Lochte’s new show. He makes THE BEST faces:

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All screencaps by me.

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