Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays recap, #SatsOnTheBeach

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Another episode without an Una story.  How much longer can this go on?

But look at the cute kitchen the girls have!

Sats dinner

Aww they all eat together!

Mostly they harassed Mollie about being single. Rochelle and Vannesa showed Mollie how to dance without pointing her finger into the air.

Sats dancing

Then they record a new song. This must not be important because like .000001 second of it is shown.

Sats singing

Marvin told Rochelle over Skype that they got the house they bid on! From the photo it doesn’t look super fancy. I like the UK, you guys.

Sats house

They start to discuss what the rooms are going to be. Marvin wants to turn the dining room into a pool table room. Rochelle dismisses this immediately, and I agree because pool tables are fucking ugly. He then requests a music room, which seems entirely reasonable, and Rochelle shoots him down. C’mon, let him have a creative space all to his own! My husband has one and it’s actually pretty great for our marriage.

So she goes window shopping with Una. Responsible Una. Rochelle should have brought Vanessa if she wanted someone to enable her! She walked out empty handed.

Sats furniture 1

Instead of calling Marvin, Rochelle did what I would do and went shopping alone. LA furniture stores, from what I read on Emily Henderson’s site, are amazing. I would have a really hard time not shopping every day if I moved there for a few months. Rochelle pointed to a bunch of stuff and said “I’ll take that!” because she has seen Pretty Woman too many times.  The bill comes to $23,000 (!!! I could furnish my entire house and redo my kitchen and floors for this price, but I work in higher ed and do not have popstar money), but I’m sure the shipping costs are way worse.

Sats furniture

What the fuck do you mean $23,000???

Una gets Rochelle to confess about the “thousands of pounds” she’s spent on furniture. Una tells Rochelle that furnishing a house is something she and Marvin should do together.

Sats NO

Don’t disappoint Una!

This is a sweet sentiment but Marvin wants a pool table. It’s a dire situation. Over Skype, Rochelle tells Marvin she’s going to cancel her purchases and he promises to wait until she returns to buy furniture. AWWW.

The other story, about trying to find Mollie a date, made me uncomfortable. In interview, she talks about her last boyfriend, a really foxy model and how she saw him at a model event (this seems fake) with his new girlfriend and got upset.

Sats model

Hey where did Molls’ boobs go?

So Frankie and Vanessa think that because Mollie is shy she needs help meeting men. They are really proud of saying “mister right now” at the same time because they love bad cliches.

Sats hi five

So proud that they give each other a high five! HEY IS THAT A TATTOO OF A DREAM CATCHER, VANESSA? EW.

Molls has an E! camera following her around all the time, plus she’s cute, so I’m sure men do not ignore her. This ordeal leads to some painfully awkward scenes.

Vanessa asks these guys seated behind her if they’re single. I hid under my pillow during this part, I’m sure Mollie wished for the same thing.

Sats lunch

They do not look like hot male models!

Then the three of them learn to surf.

Sats beacj

Sats paps

Look! Paps!

Sats douche

This is their instructor who Mollie thinks is like “Ken from Barbie and Ken.” If Ken was a douche.

I’m sure this whole thing, plus the hot surf instructor and the paparazzi at the beach, was all set up by E! There are lots of interviews from each girl about the cute surf instructor and how Mollie should date him. After the lesson they ask if he’s single, he says no, MY TIME WAS WASTED.

Then Mollie is dragged to some awful nightclub where a normal guy (read: not a model or the Prince of England, like Mollie is used to) hits on her.

Sats clubbing

She leaves the club and the girls run after her to the street. Mollie says she doesn’t want their help and then they hug and hail a cab.

Sats hug

Sats cab

Molls and Vanessa look so pretty here!

THAT’S IT.

Next week: something happens with Una. Finally.

All screencaps by me.

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