Smart ladies love dumb TV, Chasing the Saturdays recap, #SatsontheRox

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The information of this episode on Fios sounds very menacing. I’m worried.

Also, I just got new glasses, so if anything looks wonky or is spelled wrong, we’ll go ahead and blame those, OK?

SatsBallet

The girls are warming up at a ballet-pilates type studio. Rochelle is complaining about being tired all the time… we know what that means. Dramatic irony, right?? She is distracting everyone with her whining. Why did no one interview that they think Rochelle is pregnant? It’s obvious. I mean, my friends would ask me if I was pregnant if I even hinted at being sick in the mornings, so I find this behavior very curious. Damn you, editors!

SatsPeterInterrupt

Dinner together again… It’s like the show’s go-to beginning. Rochelle is drinking wine so she might not know she’s pregnant. Peter interrupts their dinner to tell them they’re playing The Roxy. Who the fuck let him in? He just shows up.

SatsRehearsing

At rehearsal, Vanessa is having some problems with her voice in “Ego” and she can’t hit the high notes. She encourages Rochelle to sing the part, though Rochelle is really against it.

SatsWeirdDude

They might be singing to this guy, who thinks he’s 24 even though he’s clearly in his 50s.

Mollie, Rochelle and Frankie decide to throw a joint birthday party for Una and Vanessa since their birthdays are close to each other (well, kinda: Una’s in October 10 and Vanessa’s is October 30).

SatHiFive

For some reason I find all the tea drinking really charming.

Frankie suggests special drinks and Mollie says there should be cake. First, fried pineapple and now cake. There is TOTALLY a fat girl under that skinny body!

SatsDrLeif

Vanessa visits with kind of medium-hot doctor LEIF LUNSFORD. She’s been singing since she was 5 so she’s worried. Her voice is cracking. Blah blah medical tests blah blah. I do not care about any of this at all so I wonder why it’s in the show.

SatsVanessaThroat

No abnormal swelling or masses, which is good news. Dr. Leif thinks it’s an anxiety problem when she’s performing. Vanessa is pissed it’s all in her head, but Una completely agrees with Dr. Leif.

SatsBlueDrink

Girls meet with a mixologist to try drinks for the party girls’ birthday. He makes these blue concoctions which they think taste like pure alcohol.

SatsFrankieBartending

Frankie says he needs to get out of her way so she can bartend. She makes something with every booze ever. Frankie says it’s actually really good and peachy! I have my doubts since it looks like coolant.

SatsSerious

Una brings Ben to talk to Vanessa and comfort her about her voice. It’s quite sweet, actually. He’s talking about the mental aspect of his injury. He asks, “What would Vanessa be doing if she wasn’t a Saturday” and she has NO ANSWER. Not veterinarian or botanist or Latin American scholar. If I wasn’t in HR I’d get two PhDs in Economics like Sloan on The Newsroom. Vanessa needs a pat answer like that.

SatsEatCake

Next party stop is cake tasting. I have never wanted cake so badly in my life.

SatsCakeSong

They sing a cute song about cake, which I wish was their next single because I’d buy it immediately.

SatsCakePaps

They get “papped” eating cake, probably due to the large number of E! cameras filming them in a tiny cake shop.

SatsVanessaDavid

David the adorable vocal coach is in LA because Vanessa flew him out. She can afford this plane ticket but not clothes that aren’t from Topshop?

SatsDavidistheBest

I am SO INTO his whole look. The hair, the shirt, everything. David is my favorite.

Vanessa says she can’t do what David wants her to do before she even tries it. She can sing the note with him but not on stage and she’s really frustrated. David says she’s worrying too much and her voice is tightening up. He says she should think about it like the Olympics as a place to perform.

SatsParty

The best thing about this shot is that everyone is pretending to hide but Mollie is all, HEY GUYS!

The group gets deck ready for the party! Ben is there and Adam from last week (the one who was super into the Halloween costumes). I’m worried that Peter was missing, but we actually see a split second of him:

SatsSurprise

There’s no mistaking that glorious hair!

Vanessa loved the party because it got her mind off last week. These ladies spent 8 minutes of show time planning this party but 30 seconds celebrating it on camera. SIGH.

SatsGroupHug

Frankie’s granddad died. They urge her to go home to the funeral instead of performing at the Roxy. Was she close to him? What’s the backstory? Producers, you really let us down.

Another boring dance rehearsal, yay!

SatsDancing

Rochelle is not into it. She’s emotional, yawning a lot and can’t keep up with the steps.

SatsBackstage

The four girls go early to The Roxy (the show happened on October 30) and hang out with a guy from my high school’s theater tech crew wearing jeans that aren’t even cool enough for my 60 year old father.

SatsontheRox

Mollie sings and people audibly scream. People know the words!! Are these The Saturdays’ real American fans?

Vanessa nails the note, of course. The choreography is so pathetic they should probably just stand there and sing instead.
SatsUnaFans

Afterwards, there’s a meet and greet  with fans, which is really cute. I think the one girls’ voice I heard was British.

There are a number of clips of this show on YouTube and sadly, this is the highest quality one I could find. As you can see, the audience actually seems into our girls! YAY!

SatsRochelleandPeter

Rochelle has a one and one with Peter. She has major news to tell him: she needs to get home and be with Marvin. She “thinks” she’s pregnant (why doesn’t she “know”? There are doctors in LA!). Peter is speechless.

Next week: The season finale! Rochelle goes home to Marvin, the band goes on tour. I DON’T WANT THIS SHOW TO END, YOU GUYS.

Baby Aoife update: This episode had NO BABY AOIFE in it! I thought it was a fun, breezy half hour, but without that cute baby I would have to call it one of my least favorite episodes.

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