Chasing The Saturdays did not air on February 3rd due to the Super Bowl. I have some reality TV show thoughts I’d like to share in lieu of a recap.
Claim: If The Saturdays become famous in the US, it will not be because of their music
This Perez Hilton performance that was in the first episode. Though the footage was edited to make the girls appear super popular; the crowd, did not in fact go wild. Also: WTF, Vanessa? That is the least flattering outfit ever. Why can’t these girls get real stylists? You cannot be famous until Ryan Hastings puts you in some some Miu Miu. This whole mess did not look that bad on E!, possibly because the girls were filmed from above with really nice cameras and the editing was lightning fast. (Thanks to Brooke for the tip about this!)
Reality shows make you aware of stars’ desperation for fame. The idea for this post came from Kerrys blog who just started watching The Bachelor (she promptly quit, and I don’t blame her cause I don’t even watch that shit). Americans love reality TV stars but we can also see through their famewhore bullshit. I know what you’re doing, Saturdays/Bachelor contestants, and I don’t like it, but I will continue to watch your shows because I can do whatever I want.
Reality tv ≠ record sales. I am not interested in anything Kim Kardashian can give me–styling tips, clothes from Dash, a fluffy dead kitten or a shitty line from Sears. What she can do is entertain me. Same with any of these people: Denise Richards, that Jonas kid, the Osbournes, Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie, Ashley Parker Angel, and the girl from The Bachelor whose show I run across randomly [How did I miss Ashley Parker Angel?!? Is that a guy or a girl, is it a band?!? I’m so confused?!? -K]. And if I only want their show, I’m sure much of the viewing audience feels the same way. I have no doubt that there are some cult Jonas fans running the earth but they do not make up the entire viewing audience for Married to Jonas (I know this because I watched it). Therefore, by skills I learned in math class, reality TV show fame ≠ record sales. [The exception to this is singing competition shows, of course, for many, many reasons.]
Fame is gracing tween school supplies. I know Brooke says people like The Wanted but until I see their faces on school folders at Target, I will be filled with doubt. I searched “The Wanted” backpack on Amazon and found nothing but “One Direction” backpack gets you this sweet messenger bag. They are doing a reality show on E! too, which is not surprising at all. The Wanted, like The Saturdays, want to be famous, but they will not ever be One Direction famous in the US. Tweens do not watch Chasing The Saturdays— it’s on at 10pm on Sundays! There is an age gap between who should buy Saturdays records and who is watching their show–all the hip gays in LA can’t give them a number one hit. [The Wanted are hilarious we will all love them when their show airs —I’m serious I have watched a lot of Wanted Wednesdays! -K]
People are sexist. Ladies, you will learn this the hard way. Take it from Bob Lefsetz, even semi-respected music writers will sexualize you and trivialize your talent, especially if you are on the big bad stage of E! reality TV.
No mystery. When you’re a reality star people feel they know you and then want to talk to you about things that happened on your show. Who the fuck goes up to Mariah Carey in a restaurant? NO ONE. Mystery makes people more famous, because when Katie Couric or Oprah interviews these enigmas it becomes a huge deal.
Reality TV show fame is fleeting. As I’ve shown, it will not equal record sales or licensed paper products. What it does equal is more reality shows, a hosting gig on the worst singing competition show on TV or a low-rent clothing line if you’re lucky. I commend Nicole Richie for becoming a legitimate designer of goods people actually want (House of Harlow, affordable AND cute) as opposed to her reality TV BFF Paris Hilton, who is a huge, dated joke.