Smart ladies love dumb TV, The Wanted Life recap, Comeback Like a Pop Star


Not only is this the finale of The Wanted Life (so, so sad), but it’s also an hour (worse for me than you).

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Nathan has to get surgery and he leaves the gang, who is still hanging at Atlantis. Everyone is worried about him but we all know he’s fine now.

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Scooter is the most serious person ever. I miss Nano.

LA montage! Showing Scooter’s office, he and Nathan having the shortest conversation ever on that amazing grey couch.

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Max tells the dudes he got the part, 5 weeks filming. They are all super excited for him but Tom is concerned that Max will need to spend his time focusing on the band.

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The boys all decide to leave the Bahamas early and surprise Nathan because they are all super good friends.

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Nathan’s mom looks 22. Actually she’s probably not much older than me–I could have an 18 year old. This is really scary and I feel old.

While Nathan is put under for surgery he interviews that he is still worried about his career. Two hours later he’s in a lot of pain but he kisses his mom and high fives the doctor.

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All four boys walk through the door to surprise him and he cries. It’s actually a really sweet moment.

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So expressive!

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Nareesha and Kelsey are leaving LA. Nareesha, in typical Nareesha style, is happy about no germs and getting back to work. She isn’t going to see Siva for a month while The Wanted are on tour.

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Tom says he will miss a lot about Kelsey. “She’s my best friend… we have great sex.” Oh Tom.

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Reworking songs without Nathan is challenging but the band is up to it. Nathan isn’t even there which is a big difference. They perform at a radio concert in San Diego to (shocking) more screaming girls!

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Max sings Nathan’s part and it’s kind of mediocre but he even admits he didn’t pull it off. Even when he’s an asshole he’s honest.

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Scooter plays the boys a song that he thinks they are waiting for–“We Own the Night.” It is SO CORNY and sounds really generic and I knew what was happening before it did. Scooter thinks it will be an international hit, because he manages Justin Bieber and can see the future.

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Playing Wembley Stadium: Scooter tells them to be aware of the gossip about replacing Nathan. Siva says that’s not even up for discussion right now. Everyone hopes Nathan is ready for the Summertime Ball at Wembley and–surprise!!–we know he is.

Nathan is excited to work with a vocal couch again to get ready for the Summertime Ball.

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Working with cute old lady Alison, who I am obsessed with. Cool necklace lady.

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N & K meet for the first time in a while. You mean they don’t hang out except when they’re forced to? Nareesha has some good clothing news (she’s going to get a dress line!) that will keep her committed to England for a while but she hasn’t told Siva.

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YAY everyone arrives back in London and their are fans stalking them at the airport and I’m happy that they are famous somewhere.

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Tom and Kelsey are living with K’s mom until their house can finish being redecorated. Her little brothers love Tom and want to be in boybands too. K says she has big news about Nareesha and Tom asks, “Is she pregnant?” Tom says they both want to be with each other 24/7 but it’s not realistic. I wish we could see their house because it’s probably weird and fun and cute like them. I say this as someone who is really enjoying how all these things my husband and I have in our house represent us.

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Nareesha tells Siva about her new job prospect and makes a huge deal of it. Siva says “you deserve to do well.” He is kind of happy for her but also really sour. They are too serious. He says they go everywhere together and he has to choose between his relationship and his career. Nareesha says he needs to stay dedicated to the band. Siva says Nareesha is his best friend. Just like what Tom said about Kelsey! Except without the lewd/hilarious sex comment. I think this story ends?

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Look at the disgust with which is he drinking his tea/coffee.

They seem like they are still together but N won’t be going on tour with S because she has her own life. FINALLY GIRL.

Max drinking with his brother and his precious mother. His brother says he couldn’t sleep because of all the {makes sex noises}.

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He’s showing his mom his “O” face.”

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Mom is not amused.

Max tells his mom about his new acting job and she asks how it will fit into The Wanted.

At this point I am totally bored and it’s only 10:33. The structure of this episode is totally obvious and I want to sleep.

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Counting down the hours to the Summertime Ball. The room that they are in looks familiar–I’m pretty sure it was seen in X Factor UK (Louis?) but I can’t find a photo of it.

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Nathan walks through the door and says it’s a “gametime decision” about the Summertime Ball. Look, we all know what happens, so this dramatic tension is only for the five people that watch this that have never heard of The Wanted and leave the TV on after The Kardashians.

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My husband has joined me and is making jokes about Nathan being “the best one” but then when I tell him they have the same last name this is verified. He asks is the band lip syncs and when I can’t give him an answer he gets pissy because I haven been watching this show for six weeks. I know what the band has said but I don’t know what the actual truth is. And I really don’t give a fuck.

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At Wembley, Tom says there will be 80,000 eyes on the band but I think he means 80,000 sets of eyes or 160,00 eyes. This figure would make him “shit a brick” more than the number he spouted.

This is by far the worst episode. It’s the finale, it should be exciting! Also it should have only been half an hour. Jay hardly gets to be funny and there’s too much fake dramatic tension.

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Wembley doesn’t look full and they’re playing during the daytime. Who played this shit? I took some time to research this, and Ellie Goulding, Disclosure (!!!; I don’t think their fans overlap with fans of The Wanted), James Arthur (winner of last year’s X Factor UK, if you remember), Jessie J, Lawson, The Saturdays (THANK CHRIST), Union J (also on last year’s X Factor UK), Robbie Williams, Psy (oh Scooter!),, Olly Murrs, AlunaGeorge and a bunch of people I have never heard of (Labrinth? Naughty Boys? Loveable Rogues? DOES LOUIS WALSH NAME THESE BANDS??).

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During the break in “I Found You” that Max fucked up earlier in the episode, Nathan pops out from the floor.

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SURPRISE, GREAT BRITAIN! The boys are so happy to be reunited.

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Nathan says if he died right now, he’d be a happy man and that he’s home.

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He tells the audience “I’m back” and then there are wild screams which may or may not be put on by producers. I love how stoked everyone is to be performing together. AWWW.

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Max says he does want to do some acting at some point but he knows that know it’s about The Wanted and it will be for some time. So he will he not be doing that movie? This is so confusing.

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The other little recaps with the 4 dudes are super boring. Did I say 4? I meant 3 because Jay didn’t get a fucking recap because he’s single and apparently doesn’t have any friends or family.

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Nathan is so happy to be drinking again!!

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Jay says they should have a baby like The Hangover. They could carry him around and call him something like Arthur. That’s what’s next for The Wanted. And probably recording “We Own the Night.”

Oh yea totally right about that because we now get a sneak preview of their new single which is scoring a montage of all the exciting things that have happened on The Wanted Life.

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It is bittersweet especially because we don’t know if there will be a season 2. And if that Jonas show is like on season 3 than this show should be on forever.

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Final thoughts on The Wanted Life:

My favorite member of The Wanted is Jay, of course. My second favorite is Tom because he is a super sweet person and a good friend. My least favorite is Nathan because he had the worst storyline.

Their music makes me yearn for The Saturdays.

I hope Siva gets that stick out of his ass and learns to enjoy life because he’s fucking young and needs to have some fun.

I wish E! would do one of these shows about Cheryl Cole or Tulisa.

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