Smart ladies love dumb TV, The Wanted Life recap, Crazy Like a Pop Star

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The show opens with dance instructor Sarah teaching Jay and Siva some moves. Siva has two left feet so Jay thought he’d go with him. They are both awful and awkward. Siva does the white guy lip bite thing. Did no one make sure these guys had rhythm before they hired them to be in a boyband? My bad rhythm has cursed my chances of ever being in a girlband & I am ok with that.

At the mansion Tom is trying to get everyone to make him breakfast.

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THE BEST is Kelsey’s reaction to this:

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She’s all bitch pllleeeeaaasssse.

Their manager who isn’t Nano goes outside and tells everyone there are paps everywhere.

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By everywhere he means there are the two that E! hired to make The Wanted look really important and one of those is just Giuliana dressed like a dude.

The manager says something to Kelsey about her cellulite that AGAIN they do not subtitle but I can’t understand. I had to stop and replay my DVR four times to hear “Kelsey there are paps everywhere, so if you want to show your cellulite.” Nareesha groans and interviews that Kevin shouldn’t say that.

This is the guy that deigns to say anything about Kelsey’s body:

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Yeah, that’s what I thought dude.

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I can’t see that this actually says something about cellulite but I will give Kelsey the benefit of the doubt, since the producers probably don’t know how to navigate UK blogs.

Apparently Kelsey was in the gossip rags about the cellulite on the backs of her legs. EVERYONE HAS CELLULITE. People in the UK are mean.

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Kelsey interviews that the boys think she’s like a boy so she can take all the jokes but some of them she doesn’t find funny. I think this is one of the sweetest and most genuine moments of the show. I can’t believe people are so hard on this poor girl in the press.

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I am not really impressed with any of these shoes, they are boring. She should try to design more like this.

Nareesha is having a hard time drawing shoes. Her brand is called Crisian & McCaffrey. She has lots of deadlines but prefers to work at night since that’s when she gets all her big ideas. However, she can’t work because Max and random girls are screaming.

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Piano is being played (badly), people are jumping from the balcony to the pool and there are screeching girls everywhere.

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Then they show grody shots of the house with food everyone. I want to puke.

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This is the only screencap I took of this conversation.

Siva tells the boys that Nareesha can’t work because of all the partying and Max’s response is pretty much “she doesn’t have to live here.”  Siva is in shock, he says they all agreed to  live together.

Tom and Kelsey stick up for Siva, because they’re kind of in the same boat, although Kelsey doesn’t seem to mind the partying. But because Max likes Kelsey it’s ok for her to live there? Dude, fucked up. Tom says “you can’t say that it’s just our house, it’s not true.” Tom interviews that “if he said that about Kelsey, he’d get an elbow drop.” It’s cute and charming and I like this Tom and Kelsey together.

Max interviews that he doesn’t think he should stop doing what he’s doing because they have a nocturnal shoe designer in the house. Nathan says, what work are you doing at 4 in the morning? Nareesha says she gets creative at night time. Nathan is clearly on the side of big brother Max.  Nathan says that the house may not be the right place for Nareesha. Jay reminds them to be mindful. Max feels like he’s being picked on.

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N & K are at Bellacures, which, if you remember, was a popular spot for The Saturdays. Kelsey calls Nareesha her little support system. Kelsey talks about the cellulite thing again and Nareesha agrees that it’s fucked up because OF COURSE IT IS.

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They talk about how they are in the spotlight just like the boys, but they don’t get any of the same benefits, which is really true. They both get a lot of ire from young girls directed their way, I’m sure.

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Kelsey brings it up AGAIN to Tom and I just hope that this was all filmed in like two days and not two weeks because I think Kelsey might be obsessed with this. I mean, I would be upset too, just not for two weeks. They have a fucking pool. That cures all.

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Oh look, Max is having another party, with tons of people arriving in cabs. Max says he doesn’t have to please Nareesha so invited a bunch of girls over to the house, he was excited that he had 8 “birds” to himself, but he didn’t like that they were getting a bit aggressive but that’s what happens when 8 drunk girls think they need to compete for one boy.

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I LOVE the girl crawling on Max’s leg. Stay classy.

One girl even wanders into Siva and Nareesha’s room, which is probably the last place Max should have let one of his companions go. He should have sent them to Jay.

We see the house trashed from Max’s party again. Producers, this shit is nasty.

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They tell Max about the girl at the end of their bed and he responds “she was just part of the group, she wasn’t with me.” I love that he somehow thinks this will make it better. I wonder if Max likes being seen as an asshole on TV, cause generally he seems pretty swell. Kelsey says:

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Kelsey reminds him that he has valuables just like Nareesha: his Mac has all his songs on it, and someone could take that and sell his music! Who would want to buy “Walks Like Rihanna part II” I will never know but… Nathan even says that now that it might involve property he is stepping back from the parties.

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Max interviews that he doesn’t like anyone not feeling safe and he might have crossed a line. He apologizes and says he hopes nothing like that will happen again.

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I hope this was pre-manicure at Bellacures. Yikes.

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Tom and Kelsey go to dinner together and give her a Tiffany’s bracelet because he is the best boyfriend in The Wanted. He says that without Kelsey he would be really lost and that basically she has made him a better person.

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I wanted to look up what videos they were parodying but I figured Brooke would tell us in the comments. Or you can. I was 18 when BSB came out and more interested in like, Cap’n Jazz & Braid.

The boys are filming their new video of the worst song of all time and it’s a parody/tribute (??) to all the greatest boybands in history. OK I will give them that–the concept, which apparently Jay came up with, is pretty cute.

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Jay screams “White power! Not in that way!” after filming the BSB boys part.

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Nathan is excited because videos are lip synching and he can actually participate in this part.

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Siva, who is trying to steal the title of best boyfriend of The Wanted from Tom, has a special night for he and Nareesha’s fifth anniversary–a dinner in the yard of the mansion, and Jay is the waiter because he has two years of experience (note: I have no pictures of Siva & Nareesha from this part because they are so boring). However, we learn that Jay was a shit waiter, as he poured drinks in people’s laps, stole food and never got tipped. Inside, Max and Jay are making the dinner.

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Max wipes down the edges of the plates and everything.

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Jay reads a poem and says it’s from Siva but it’s amazing and completely inappropriate. Then he’s back to doing what he does best:

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I have never drank a beer like this ever.

The guys watch the video for “Walks like Rihanna” in Scooter’s office with Nano:

Siva is pissed he is not featured in the video at all, probably because he can’t look like he’s having any fun.

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Someone has permanent bitchface!

On the next episode of The Wanted Life: The boys go to The Bahamas and more boring shit with Nathan’s voice!

 

3 Comments

  1. At your service!

    Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg
    Most classic of boyband songs. Classic boyband all white ensembles. (I always gave a mean side eye to the girl in the midriff holding the sign “Kisses for Kevin” in this video.)
    Fun Fact: BSB was almost in the Walks Like Rihanna video. Fortunately for them schedules didn’t line up because they had actual boyband choreography to rehearse.

    NSYNC – Bye Bye Bye http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s
    Most classic boyband choreography. Also one of the first appearances of the JT ‘fro, which was a departure from the previous Ramen Noodle hair.

    Take That – Back for Good http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2ICtCO8TCw
    Classic boyband rain video with bonus awkward freestyle dance moves.

    Also, “He should have sent them to Jay.” Nailed it.

    • Thanks Brooke, I knew you would pull through!
      I’m sad BSB had something else to do because that would have been hilarious. I wish the show would have mentioned that fun fact.
      Also my friend knows some people that play in The Wanted’s band. I wish they would write a blog for SLLS but I don’t want them to lose their jobs. 😉

  2. dunno who did this but so you know, the guy who pointed kelsey about her cellulite is their bodyguard kevin not their manager( their managers are scooter and nano)

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