Smart ladies love dumb TV, The Wanted Life recap, Vegas like a Popstar

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I’m already annoyed with the way this show titles its episodes. Vegas is not a verb. It’s clearly not the band’s fault, so I have no one to blame except Seacrest.

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The boys get on a double decker tour bus in LA. Siva says it reminds him of home and then he stands on top deck and some weird dude on the street calls his name. {{shudder}}

Someone gave Jay the tourbus mic which was genius:

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“This is Siva’s favorite eatery. It’s called Girls Girls Girls.”

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Nareesha is not amused.

Max’s brother Jack comes to visit wearing a douchey hat. He brings less luggage than I do when I visit Katie for the weekend.

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He reminds me of a British John Mayer.

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He does go to his younger brother’s shows, maybe to meet girls. Max is honored to have his older brother do shit like that.

The boys are doing their favorite activity, shotgunning beers and hot tubbing. They jump from the balcony into the pool:

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It must be March still because they are shivering. Also this is the first incident of men in tiny underwear in this episode and it is fortunately not the last.

The boys are called to Nano’s office. That’s how you know some kind of band event is coming up. Tom broke a chair and sets it up so Jay sits in it and it breaks. Jay chooses the right chair, then leans back and cries, “You dick wipes!” Everyone laughs like it is the funniest thing that has ever happened in the world.

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Nano announces The Wanted have been chosen to do a spring break concert series: one night in Vegas, traveling in style.

Max is interested in going to Vegas because of the “casinos, lots of women, strippers, bars, clubs and rollercoasters through hotels.” Nano calls it a boy’s trip: no girlfriends.

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Siva immediately protests and says he doesn’t want to go anywhere without Nareesha. He’s thinking about not going if he can’t bring Nareesha.

The little one says Siva needs to be there. “Boys bonding time.”

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Siva and Nareesha go talk about it. She’s really pissed, and says Siva is struggling to balance a girlfriend and the band. Let me tell you, girl, get a job or go to grad school. You will be so busy you will cherish the time you spend with Siva and not be a brat when he can’t hang out with you for two days.

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Max talks to his mom. She tells him not to forget to put his sun cream on, which is sooooo cute. First, the use of the British term “sun cream,” which still makes me squeal with joy when I hear it. Second, I love that when she thinks of London vs LA, the dangerous sun is the first thing she thinks of, not like, horrible traffic or Rodeo Drive.

Max  misses his family a lot. He tells his mom there are 9 bathrooms and 7 bedrooms in the mansion which I can’t even fathom. She says something about missing him on Mother’s Day, which made my cold pool-it’s March theory go bust until I realized the UK might have a different Mother’s Day and they TOTALLY DO. This year it was March 10th. You’re welcome.

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Nareesha is complaining to Kelsey about not going to Vegas, who is trying to convince her that management wants a bonding with the boys session. She says that at the end of the day they aren’t going and N should let Siva go and have a good time.

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Nathan at the doctor with Nano, who N calls the least sympathetic person he could ever go to the doctor with.

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Dr. says the nodule is like what Adele had & Nathan needs complete voice rest. Nathan says his career could be finished at 19. This is not true because every fan of The Wanted knows you sang for the first time in months on the day this show aired.

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After declining Kelsey’s invite to go in the bathtub, Nano tells all the boys who are partying that Nathan has a nodule and they can’t afford to lose him. No speaking even! I want to go on vocal rest. Then I would never have to go to the office again.

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Jack talks to Max about being in the studio and loves how his brother never ever judges him, even for singing that fucking terrible Rihanna song. Jack asks him if he wants to settle down and thinks he should. Max says he’s been talking to a girl but nothing is happening.

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Nathan gets tons of presents from fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Max says he only gets bras that are 32-YY that he uses as breakfast bowls. “I’m not complaining; it’s either that or a get well soon card and a lollipop.”

Jay asks Siva where he’s at about the Vegas trip. Tom says we’re friends too and they need to do “mate stuff.” Awwwww.

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Nathan starts talking and begs Siva to go because he can’t sing and it will be pathetic if only 3 people are singing.

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Siva goes to visit Scooter Braun who greets him with “What’s up, incredible jawline?” ??!!?@@!#$#$@ Nano called Scooter and told him about Siva, who says that everytime he goes there, something goes wrong. The boys almost broke up in Vegas. Scooter says that if he doesn’t go, he puts the band in a situation where they feel like Siva’s not fighting for them.

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The boys are playing soccer/football and Siva tells them they he’s going to Vegas. He feels he’s got to step up to the plate because Nathan can’t sing. Max says it shows that Siva does have balls. I’m not so sure about that, because he will make everyone’s trip shitty.

Jack left Max and he’s really sad that his brother is leaving, even though we only saw him speak five sentences.

Wait… WHY IS THIS SHOW AN HOUR?? I thought that was just for the premiere. UGHH you are killing me, E!

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The boys go to Vegas and immediately find some ladies to party with. There’s more shotgunning beers, meeting ladies at the pool, and then there’s Siva…

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He removes himself from the group and goes on the phone. Seriously leave that girl alone so she can go to the beach or Mozza or something.

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Tom spills beer on him, he calls him a dickhead and walks away. SIVA TAKE SOME SHOTS. You’ll feel better. Trust.

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Max starts the show the with, “Las Vegas, who’s getting fucked up tonight?” Classy. Nathan stands in the middle of the stage, pointing, dancing like a robot and make smirky faces. Kid needs something to do. Siva goes offstage immediately following the performance and Tom interviews that he thinks Siva thinks of them as work colleagues and not friends anymore. He says he’s “pissed off” but you can tell he’s pretty hurt.

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Now Siva is videochatting with Nareesha. Doesn’t she want him to be successful? He says he’s “knackered” but the boys will be up all night. Kelsey hears the conversation and says “I wonder if I’ll hear from Tom.” Perhaps if he drunk texts you.

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Nano can’t find someone and is making lots of calls and knocking on doors until Tom opens the door in his underwear and there’s his penis!

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Can’t find Jay…nowhere to be seen. Did he meet a lady? WOOO. Tom was pissed at Siva for walking straight off stage. Max doesn’t think he can enjoy himself without Nareesha. Max spent the night with another girl, which his managers get out of him.

They eat large sandwiches and Tom says that he’s glad that he has a girlfriend who understands when he goes out all night. He thinks that this is how groups split up. He seriously looks gutted about Siva:

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On the next The Wanted Life: the boys get in an argument, Nathan has his voice back all of a sudden.

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