It’s like Sam Callahan is an unstoppable force of comet-like hotness. That’s the only thing that can explain why he still remains on X Factor UK and Hannah is continually in the bottom three. I think there are a few other things going on here–show placement, intro package, racism, age of voters–but the results of this show continue to baffle people over 25.
The reason Abi went home
She went first in the “death slot” and she had the most boring, unmemorable intro ever, about her dad, who is also a big band singer.
Then she and her dad at at this diner. AND THAT IS ALL THAT HAPPENED.
Hire this intern full time!
I was interested in Sam Callahan’s performance for the first time ever:
These graphics moved, too. Great job, kid!! Keep watching the title sequence to Catch Me if You Can.
I think maybe this person was also responsible for this image during the Rough Copy intro:
Twitter brings people together!
It is how Michael Bolton started contacting Sam to ask her to sing with him.
She FREAKED OUT when he showed up.
Somehow she gained enough composure to chat with him.
Then he gave her singing tips. The whole thing was freaking adorable.
Tamera’s mom is the same age as Nicole
No, really! Of course this would also make her my age. I want to crawl into a hole with my cat and die.
And Tamera looks 25. None of this is right.
The return of the fruit
No one threw it, though.
Instead, Gary took the boys go-kart racing!
Gary said he lost on purpose.
Then everyone bonded and Gary looked hot in this car racing outfit. RAWR.
You know what else returned? Rough Copy’s weird pants.
I just can’t anymore.
Big band night produces odd song choices
Nicky did “Dream a Little Dream.”
Luke did “Moondance” and he was above the beat the entire time. I could barely watch it. I knew I was right when Gary offered this exact criticism. I felt really smart.
Either one of them would have been better off with “Mack the Knife,” one of my favorite songs of all time, which is not done enough on these shows.
And some other stuff happened
Nicole’s mom came! Isn’t she lovely? <3
Sam had some Busby Berkeley shit going on, which sadly did not save his vocal performance. I read something on tumblr that the show is making him fail on purpose because he is actually a great singer. I cannot confirm or deny this.
Nicky was a cute fucking kid.
Mrs. O wore the dress Julia Roberts won her Oscar in (ok not really but it’s close)
I don’t remember ever seeing the announcer before! It was exciting!
Dermot danced again! Sexxxxxyyyyy.
And, as usual, Nicole looked really really pretty.
I’m calling the final three: Sam Bailey, Luke Friend and Rough Copy. RC’s “Hit the Road Jack,” while not necessarily a big band song, was really fun and energetic and the harmonies were on point.
All screencaps by me. Gifs from nicolescherzinger.