Smart ladies love dumb TV, True Blood recap, Death is not the End

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Previously on True Blood, Alcide died –I MISS HIS ABS!!! Faves Eric and Pam decided to go after Sarah Newlin (the always awesome Anna Camp). Lafayette and James listened to funk and got high –they are truly my favorites as that is what I would do if there were crazy people with guns and/or fangs out at night.

This week in Beyoncé

Bey did “Flawless,” a song that launched a thousand billion “I woke up like this” memes. It also has a dance associated with it and the video is a series very strong, memorable images. Bey’s outfit mimicked the one she wore in the video, a plaid shirt and short shorts (leather of course), but she made it sparkly because she is the center of fucking attention. Her dancers also wore plaid shirts around their waists, but with words across their asses. Classy.

So since the video is so memorable and includes words of wisdom about feminism from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (you should read Americanah already) that are not in this live performance, the audience was going nuts for the song. We were given insight into how everyone dances in their bedrooms to this song because the director kept cutting to the audience making ugly “super into it” faces usually reserved for dancing alone in their bedrooms, not that I know anything about that at all. If I was in this video I’d be royally pissed.

I also watched True Blood this week, even though I had no idea what was going on! -M

This week in Bon Temps…


  • Jason and Sookie call Alcide’s dad and Hoyt that Alcide and Maxine are dead. Ryan Kwanten kills it in his scene with Hoyt (who was his best-friend before Jessica glamoured him into not remembering them).
  • This episode has so many people from the past, HOYT, John Doggit AKA Alcide’s dad, and the magister.
  • I’m so glad that Pam and Eric were forced to move to Shreveport as I could never see them living there of their own free will. I love how unhappy they look when they are told the video store is all theirs. [The fact that they are ageless vampires–right??–makes flashbacks so fun because they don’t have to make them look young or anything. -M]

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  • Sookie gives Arlene’s kids a pep-talk. She also goes to read Holly’s mind to find out where the hostages are. EVERYONE IS IN THE VAMPIRE BAR! THE VAMPIRE BAR! FINALLY you fucking nitwits. Poor Holly has to be re-traumatized just so they can find out that the vampires are hiding out in the most obvious place under the fucking sun.
  • Sam wants to go to Fangtasia in the daytime but everyone wants to wait till night –I guess so that Bill and the other non-sick vamps can help.
  • Jessica won’t eat so Sookie tells her to shut the fuck up and if she won’t feed off of her then she will feed off Lafayette. [He was in one teeny tiny scene. What a bunch of crap. -M]
  • I wish the past 7 seasons had just been about Pam and Eric running a video store. I love how Eric and Pam met Ginger who of course loved vampire movies. Also Eric’s nineties wig is the best ever he looks like Brandon from 90210.


  • This episode is one part people telling other people their loved ones are dead, and the other part Pam and Eric being awesome in awesome wigs. [Which part do you think I liked more? HAHAHAHA. Pam is the best. -M]
  • Sookie feeds Bill. Jessica is so whiny this episode it makes me want to throw something at the TV. Lafayette puts her straight because he is seriously the only person on this show with any fucking sense.
  • Ginger, who is the BEST ever, gave Eric his throne and came up with the idea for Fangtasia. Pam glamoured the memory of the idea away from her and told Eric it was her idea. Eric calls Pam a bitch and it’s sweet. Seriously why is this show not these two being awesome in funny wigs.
  • Eric to Bill “Pam says you wrote a book in which you claim to not be an asshole anymore” is classic Eric! Though I would venture that Bill is still an asshole. Everyone is sad Eric is sick. I’m sad Eric is sick.

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  • Eric and Sookie is the worst. Eric and Pam is the best. Angry Willa is funny. That is basically how I feel about the whole scene at Bills house.
  • Sookie’s magic fairy vagina convinces Eric to force Pam and poor Willa to join the gang to save Arlene, Nicole, and town drunk Jane Bodehouse. [I love that she’s the town drunk! I knew something was wrong with her. -M]

Remember that one time it glowed?

  • Eric too sick to break the wall is sad, even worse is Bill breaking it instead of him. Pam telling Bill that Sookie will never love him is great and sadly probably not true based on the direction of this season. Sookie you and I have a love hate relationship but I will really hate you if you end up with Bill. I really want Sookie to end up alone and not being fought over like meat.
  • Eric, Sookie, and the rest of our team are trying to stealthily save Arlene but the stupid mob of townspeople are also trying to take out the vamps of Fangtasia –those motherfuckers should fucking die. Arlene gets to say goodbye to Terry because this episode is basically the ghosts of guest-stars past.


  • Our vampire team are able to kill off the bad zombie vamps and it looks like most of the crazy townsfolk mob (oh thank god). Sookie saves Arlene or rather Eric sends in a non-infected vamp to save Arlene.
  • Eric gives Sookie sad eyes that are basically “I’m leaving you forever. Have a good life. Don’t end up with Bill as that’s lame”. Eric and I have the same feelings regarding Sookie.
  • If the show killed off the dumb townspeople AND the zombie vamps who is the new big bad (I assume they won’t follow Pam and Eric on the quest to kill Sarah Newlin).


The Good



Pam and Eric and all the wigs are the best ever. Also any episode with Ginger is divine.

The Bad



Sookie and Eric and their sad looks of love made me roll my eyes for Pam who was outside. Eric sick is so sad. Don’t die Eric, we need you!

TrueBlood_PAMThe WTF?

Apparently this was the episode that they decided to bring back all of the fan favorites. Most shows do this in their final season but usually spread it out True Blood decided to go whole hog and do it in one episode OR every episode will be like this since we have had SO many fucking guest stars.

Next week kids I think we get more Pam and Eric in funny wigs and maybe a cowboy HAT!

Stills and gifs from HBO, vampire-blondiemarvelandwhimsyaskarsswedishmeatballsskarsgardfansloinsofdoomblueletter, and furstevessake.