Smart ladies love dumb TV, Wahlburgers recap, Wahl of Fame

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So it looks like these recaps won’t happen every week. Whatever. It saves me from being too cranky. This week, the best person on this show wore a cape and the New Kids (well, Donnie) cried about their fans.

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Alma interviews that her first experience with fans was when New Kids got big. We will hear more about this later, and it is one of the more interesting things on the show (probably not a surprise for NKOTB fans).

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“All we ever wanted was fans,” says Donnie. He is a certain way with fans, he likes having lunch and parties with them. He says it always comes down to the fans. “No fans, no fame.” Mark agrees, and says that he tries to do as much as he can for them.

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The mayor of Boston asked Paul to go to City Hall. Dude has a strong accent! The mayor said his brother played hockey with Mark–he’s actually from Dorchester! Marty (I feel I know him, so first names only) wants Paul to be a part of Comic Con, but Paul has no idea what that is. He’s not a comic book guy.

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Mayor: “Please take a table at Comic Con so you can advertise your business and sell tee shirts.” Paul: “—“

Marty has to convince Paul to be a part of an event with 20K people. Paul agrees, because the guy is the fucking mayor, and DUH.

Exhale is a spa/fitness center.

Exhale is a spa/fitness center.

Paul calls Mark and tells him he does not want to do Comic Con but Mark tells him that it’s great and he’s done it for so many different movies. Tons of young people go and he HAS to go.

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Paul thinks he should market to the families that go to the restaurant. So building your restaurant’s clientele is a bad thing? I am so confused. Mark called Paul a “Trekkie,” with which Paul disagreed.

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Donnie calls Alma. He loves to call her with big NKOTB news.

Nice looking BANANAS, Wahlberg.

Nice looking BANANAS, Wahlberg.

He told her NKOTB were getting a star on the Walk of Fame and says he couldnt have done it without her. It takes him back to being a little kid.

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Donnie films Blue Bloods in NY and flies out to LA every weekend to see his kids. He gets to take son Elijah to school because he’s there on a weekday for the Walk of Fame ceremony. He’s talking to his son about science and how his teacher Mr. Clark’s name would be pronounced in Boston. CLAAAAAAK.

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Elijah asks if NKOTB are getting five stars or just one. Sass attack! I like that Elijah. Donnie says that he was 14 when he started the band, or about his sons age.

YAY MY GIRL IS BACK!

YAY MY GIRL IS BACK!

Paul arrives at Comic Con and Kari is wearing a mask and cape. She says she is Wahlburger Woman, “saving the world one burger at a time.”

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Paul doesn’t get it, because Kari is a genius. She asks where his costume is and he said he’s just there because the mayor asked him to. Paul doesn’t like to dress up on Halloween. Hey, neither do I, but once I was a zombie that liked The Zombies, and it was the best costume, as it required very little effort except using my pale roommate’s makeup and making a tee shirt that said “odessey” on one side and “oracle” on the other.

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Alma meets Dan Wood, Danny Woods father, at Alma Nove. They are reminiscing about the NKTOB fan club. Dan was a postman and brought the fan mail home from the post office.

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The mothers would get together one night a week and answer the letters. They got more and more mail, so much  that they couldn’t answer it all themselves, so they hired family members, got a warehouse, and started one of the biggest fan clubs ever.

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Paul’s kids, Ethan and Madison, are waiting in line at Comic Con with Drama, who is wearing a Viking outfit.

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Paul says the burgers are based on anime. I don’t know what that means.

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Drama calls Madison a “space girl,” but isn’t she supposed to be Ramona from Scott Pilgrim?

Maybe they couldn’t use the words “Scott Pilgrim” on TV?

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Kari is such a hard worker!!

Kari gets Madison to help her in the booth, while Drama makes the rounds with the boys.

This kid couldn't be LESS interested in his dad's old stories about his 80s boyband.

This kid couldn’t be LESS interested in his dad’s old stories about his 80s boyband.

We get more of Donnie in the car with his son. Jonathan Knight was best friends with his brother Bob from 2nd grade and he was BFFs with Danny starting in first grade! He gives his son this advice: “days go by slow, life goes by fast” (yeah, and?).

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He notes that some of his son’s friends now will still be his friends later in life. He begins talking about an early concert at a park that was a giant fail–audience threw rocks, bottles and (free) records at them, one of which sliced Danny in the neck. Donnie didn’t want to be known as a quitter so he kept going.

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Donnie was determined to continue–he ducked behind on security guard and five guys followed him. At the end, the audience was clapping. He’s getting a star on the Walk of Fame because he listened to his dad when he told him to never give up. It’s changed the fortune of his family forever.

She seriously DROPPED HER FORK when Dan started this story.

She seriously DROPPED HER FORK when Dan started this story.

Alma asked what story stands out and Dan mentioned the time Donnie fell through the trap door and bit the inside of his mouth off. He used the front door to leave the hospital, shook the fans’ hands and thanked them. They both agree that the boys from Boston deserve the Star.

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From Kari, we learn the burgers are made with shrimp and turkey with teriyaki sauce. They’re running out of burgers!

She's even adorable without the blue wig!

She’s even adorable without the blue wig!

Paul is asking why Madison is there and asks if her mother knows where she is. Ethan and his friendJoe are also there, too. Paul seems grossed out by the zombie costumes–he is just there to cook burgers, not be in costume.

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Of course, his kids and Johnny are harassing him to put on a costume.

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In LA, Donnie is amazed at the support of his fans, and marvels at how they got to where they are. There are tons of girls and women at the ceremony. It reminds me of that NKTOB show that I see clips of on The Soup.

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[Note: I did research on this show, Rock the Boat, which seems to tell the most bizarre, sad stories of New Kids fans, and I see it’s produced by Donnie??!! WTF are these shenanigans? And how many shows is he involved with? At least four, if you include Blue Bloods. Does he sleep? I am really concerned about him.]

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Donnie is in awe of getting the star, Arsenio is the MC, he says “we are blockheads.” He loves that they make him happy. He also promised new music from NKTOB. WOOO!

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Alma interviews that they are great kids who have worked really hard.

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Donnie takes the mic and says they are more than fans, they are their friends and family. He cries and compares them to the soil and concrete below the Star. He marvels that this is bigger than a celebration, it’s an acknowledgement of a lot of sacrifice.

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Back at Comic Con, Drama is annoyed that they are sold out of burgers. Paul brings out a tray and he’s kind of dressed up! He has some scars and blood on his face. His son’s friend did it for him. Mark interviews that he is thrilled that Paul is opening up a bit more.

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Madison, who should have a spin off with Kari, is happy they got to experience it all together. As they walked back to the floor, Ethan asked for a horsehead. Kid, Paul is NOT going to get you that.

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Over the end credits, Drama said hes Drama from Viking Quest on Entourage (so he was playing a fictional character a fictionalized version of him played in a fictional TV world??????) and asks the people in line with him if they’ve seen Entourage and they all say no. They are clearly lying because they don’t want to tell him how much that show sucks.

[ps I found some great image galleries of Comic Con (Jason Momoa was there!): Boston Magazine, BostInno & BDCwire.]

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