What would Ryan Lochte do…for love? Take a girl who just flew in from England on a road-trip from Gainesville to Orlando. Nothing says love like Mickey D’s on the road! Ryan also tries to cook for the second time in his life.
Number of dumb things Ryan and/or Gene said or did this week: 9
- Ryan’s needs as illustrated by E!:
- ‘Frigerater (full)
- Forces poor Jaimee to go to a swim meet in Orlando after she flew in from ENGLAND.
- Ryan takes Jaimee to the same sushi restaurant he takes ALL the ladies.
- Ryan has a custom gold-plated razor. His little brother rightly pointed out that it touches his junk.
- Dear, E! stop bringing up the peeing in the pool. Even Ryan doesn’t bring it up.
- I feel extremely bad for Michael Phelps when Ryan says he has been called the fastest human in water.
- “We’re in the 20th century.” I think he was talking about cooking.
- “Mom, I burn easy mac.”
- Items in the kitchen that confound Ryan:
- Cutting board
- Vegetable peeler
- Fancy wine opener (too be honest that sucker looked complicated)
Number of catchphrases and/or words of wisdom from Ryan Lochte and/or Gene: 9
- “This bro got to sweat” when asked by the Lochterage if he was in love with Jaimee.
- Ryan Lochte is definitely a rom-com junky also E! hilariously staged Jaimee’s arrival with a wind machine.
- “Fancy dancy in the house, that’s what girls do. That’s not me.”
- It takes him 4 or 5 hours to shave his entire body (including his covered parts, Jaimee asked, I don’t care I’m just doing my job and passing this knowledge on to you).
- “See this smile. Who has sex and doesn’t have a smile afterwards. I don’t know who.” Oh, Jaimee you seem so nice but I question some of your life choices.
- “Fresh in my kicks”
- Ryan’s rules on dating:
- Connecting, “if two people aren’t connecting it’s going to be a shit show”
- Be prepaired
- Ask for help (he calls an actual pizza place to ask them how to cook his pizza he is making for Jaimee)
- Ryan is scared by love
- “I need to go back to my real relationship, the pool.”
Number of times I find him endearing: 4
- Cleans his house and lights a candle for Jaimee’s arrival.
- Wrote “muah” instead of “love” or “xoxo” on the flowers he bought Jaimee. He then verbally changed it to a heart.
- Has a weirdo t-shirt.
- Ryan and Jaimee go swimming with Jenny the dolphin. Ryan questions if Jenny is farting.
Number of times E! and by virtue the audience objectifies Ryan Lochte: 6
Number of ladies he talks to (AKA tries to pick up): NONE
Number of dates: 2, both with Jaimee
- Cooks Jaimee dinner after his mother nags him too. The look on Jaimee’s face when he tells her this is only the second time he has ever cooked.
Number of times he talks about “fashion”: One reference to his insane shoes at the swim meet.
Number of times he said “Jeah”: 6
Number of times somebody else says “Jeah”: 4, 2 were by a dolphin
This weeks trivia question is about Gene, cause he wasn’t in the episode and lets face it folks, Gene is a national treasure.