Smart ladies love dumb TV, WWRLD…in Hollywood?

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What would Ryan Lochte do…in Hollywood? When Ryan goes to Hollywood with Gene he does a lot of photo shoots, takes a meeting with Speedo, makes and eats hotdogs at Pink’s, goes to an awards show, and meets Carmen Electra.

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Because E! is ever so classy The Wanted give Ryan Lochte his award because, The Wanted will be staring in there own E! show in June.

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Number of dumb things Ryan and/or Gene said or did this week: 12 (only 11 are listed cause I’m not brining up the photo Ryan showed of Gene, that was TOO gross.)

  • Made Devon bellyflop in freezing water. Well Devon lost a bet but still this was mean. 

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  • Is up for a Comedy Central award (?) called “How to Roll” (?), even he doesn’t know what it is so I’m not looking that shit up.
  • Gene who has never been to LA asks Ryan if the fashion is the same there as it is in Gainsville.
  • Ryan loves Carmen Elecktra and Blake Lively AKA Boobs Legsly (this is NOT surprising).
  • Gene has never heard of Pink’s hot-dog stand. Come on Gene even Devon has heard of Pink’s.

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  • Devon thinks that having a hot-dog named after you is more important than winning a gold medal –even Ryan wants to slam his head on his desk for this statement and Gene doesn’t even know why he works with these people.
  • Ryan has a “confident” meeting with Speedo instead of a “confidential” meeting with Speedo.

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  • The owners of Pink’s call his hot-dog little. Ryan wants a BIG hot-dog –you know cause of what they say about men with small hot-dogs  Of course in reality his hot-dog is 2 stretch hot-dogs (“strech” are they dumb or making fun of him?).

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  • Ryan makes one of “his” hot-dogs but has problems opening up the bun.

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  • Gene says he would name his hot-dog “Geney Weeny,” which immediately gets made fun of as it sounds like “teeny weeny” and well you know what they say about boys with small hot-dogs.

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  • A reporter asks Ryan what super power would he have besides swimming, “If I knew how to flew…”

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Number of catchphrases and/or words of wisdom from Ryan Lochte and/or Gene: 11

  • “Most important thing for the Lochterage is to have fun, live life to the fullest, it’s what we do and that’s pretty darn good.” I can’t tell anymore if I misquoted him or he really is that bad with grammar but I’m not re-watching it to find out.
  • Gene make’s them have a business meeting over lunch (Gene works hard ya’ll).

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  • Facts about Ryan Lochte by Ryan Lochte:
    1. “Because of swimming I burn tons of calories so I eat junk-food all the time.”
    2. “Can’t swim forever. What should I do next? I’m going to make me a brand.”
  • Would like to live in LA.
  • Gene works SOME MORE, I know this because he is holding his clipboard.

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  • Gene’s job is specifically to keep Ryan on track –Gene has one of the toughest jobs in America.
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This is the look Ryan gets when Gene tries to work.

  • Ryan wants to move to LA but Gene doesn’t want to leave Gainsville. Gene calls Ryan the “King of Gainsville.”
  • Ryan does not want a supermodel or Playboy Bunny he wants a “real” woman.
  • “Ryan Lochte 101, eat hot-dogs after drinking not before.”

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  • “Interviews are the most difficult part of the red-carpet.”
  • Gene (i.e. E! producers) call Carmen Electra to meet Ryan at a bar. She asks them to go dancing and they agree but E! doesn’t show us any dancing. She does give Ryan her number which makes Devon very jealous. Ryan also brings up his favorite movie What Women Want to Electra.

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Number of times I find him endearing: 4 all of them have to do with Gene.

  • Ryan’s undying love of Gene is adorable.

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  • At the photo shoot Ryan makes sure Gene gets photographed with the ladies too!

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  • Ryan can’t imagine a life in LA without BFF Gene.
  • Ryan and Gene wear matching outfits to the awards show.

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Number of times E!, and by virtue the audience, objectifies Ryan Lochte: 6, E! also LOVES to get a shot of Ryan adjusting his junk while trying to get dressed –SO CLASSY! then again I do an “ab” collage every week but I never said I was classy 😉

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Number of ladies he talks to (AKA tries to pick up): 1, Carmen Electra his Hollywood crush,  they do a Baywatch parody just to objectify him more.

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Number of dates: 0 but he does have dinner with Gene!

Number of times he talks about “fashion”: 3 AND has a “confident” meeting with Speedo

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Number of times he said “Jeah”: 6

Number of times somebody else says “Jeah”: 6, Gene says “Jeah” like 4 times in a row the first night they are in LA, he was very excited.

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This weeks trivia question is…

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“I like Donkey Kong cause he throws bananas like it’s his job!” I would argue that it is Donkey Kong’s job to throw bananas.

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