Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK FINALE

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Nicole natural 2

IT’S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t say I’m surprised that diva next door Sam Bailey won this season of X Factor UK, especially after the big Beyoncé prize was announced. A Luke Friend-Beyoncé tour would make no sense. He came in third, with the bland Nicky McDonald as the runner up. Don’t worry Luke, One Direction came in third too.

Here is Sam’s first single, Demi Loavto’s “Skyscraper,” which will probably be the Christmas number one, a British peculiarity I did not know about until Love, Actually.

Sharon starting bawling when Sam won. This is her first winning contestant on her last season of the show.

Sharon crying 1

Sharon crying 2

THE BEST THING EVER

Some genius at X Factor decided that the finale needed a supergroup performance from all of the crazies/fan favorites/people I love the most (read: Rylan).

You should really watch the video for yourself.

Here are some highlights:

X Factor finale Kitty Brucknell 1

Kitty rode this large sparkly ball onto the stage.

X Factor finale Kitty Brucknell 2

Then she did some oversinging and tried REALLY HARD to be sexual.

X Factor finale Two Shoes

Look, it’s Two Shoes!

X Factor finale Wagner 1

Wagner wore an Egyptian hat. I think that’s Johnny Robinson there on the left.

X Factor finale Jedward 2

Jedward almost knocked over Nicole’s water glass with their hilarious gyrating.

X Factor finale Rylan 1

Rylan brought joy to the entire universe.

Cutest couple

Nicole and Sharon are adorable. I’m glad the female squabbles that have plagued this show recently were not an issue this season.

X Factor finale Nicole and Sharon

They fistbumped after Nicole sang with Sharon’s finalist, Sam Bailey.

X Factor finale Nicole and Sharon 2

The ladies really enjoyed Rylan’s performance. WHO DIDN’T? (Besides Gary).

Nicole Sharon 1

Nicole Sharon 2

 

X Factor finale Sam Bailey 2

Runners-up: Sam and Mrs. O doing karaoke to “It’s in His Kiss” at Sam’s homecoming.

Queen of the World

You think it would be Sam Bailey, the eventual winner, but it was really Nicole.

X Factor finale Nicole 1

She got to sing THE BEST PART of “And I am Telling You” in their duet (it’s “there’s no way I WILLLLLLLLLL,” duh).

X Factor finale Sam Bailey 8

Sam is lovely but Nicole, in her cut out gold dress, is the focus here.

I put a gif up there at the top but Nicole looks even better when she is not glammed up. I would kill for her hair and I love the kohl-rimmed eyes.

Nicole natural 1

Mysteries

X Factor finale Nicholas Mcdonald 2

Is this the McDonald tartan? It’s on both Louis’ tie and Nicholas’ scarf.

X Factor finale Nicholas McDonald 4

What did these girls do before Nicky’s performance?

X Factor finale hair

How did this dancer from the intro not sneeze with this hair across her face for thirty seconds?

X Factor finale Luke Friend 8

Where can I get this wallpaper from Luke’s parent’s house? Maybe in black?

Strangest performance that didn’t involve Rylan

Nicholas McDonald did Robbie Williams’ “Candy,” maybe in an attempt to not be “baby Bublé,” but it was so bizarre. I loved it, but not for the right reasons. Gary thought the song choice was foul (he co-wrote it!).

Here’s the original version in case you haven’t heard it:

Worst intentional tear jerking

X Factor finale Nicholas McDonald 3

When Nicholas thanked his mom and she said “that’s what parents do.”

X Factor finale Sam Bailey 4

Sam reuniting with her family.

X Factor finale Sam Bailey 3

The video of Sam’s nan.

X Factor finale Sam Bailey 5

Then when she showed up at the finale!

Audience weirdos

I live for friends and family members of the finalists acting crazy.

X Factor finale Nicholas McDonald 10

Someone brought Nicholas some haggis. It made me want to throw up.

X Factor finale Luke Friend 4

Stuffed guitars and bad wigs in honor of Luke.

X Factor finale Luke Friend 3

This wackadoo had a LOBSTER dressed like Luke.

X Factor finale Nicholas McDonald 8

Because Caroline is at heart an E! reporter, she asked Nicholas’ fellow Scots what they wear under their kilts. Don’t people in England know more about Scotland than that?

X Factor finale Nicholas McDonald 9

This cake had its own seat on the airplane.

Finale

I haven’t watched Sunday night’s show yet but the big news seems to be Harry Styles’ new earring:

Harry earring

Also Katy Perry wore this:

Katy Perry X Factor

Here is One Direction doing “Midnight Memories,” JUST BECAUSE.

Favorite performance

I liked all the duets but Luke and Ellie Goulding doing “Anything Could Happen” wins for me.

All screencaps by me. Gifs from fuckyesnicolescherzinger, scherzyisdiva, tywinllannister, ifeelperry.

American Idol starts in a few short weeks and the love of my life, J Lo, is returning, so I will be covering that in some way. At least ooohing and ahhing over her pretty pretty hair and makeup.

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