There are so many reasons I wish I lived in the UK. Alan Partridge, Cheryl Cole, the British monarchy, charity shops, the BBC… But mostly I wish I could vote in X Factor. For example, this week I would have tried so hard to keep the cuties of Kingsland Road, who did not deserve to be on the bottom, let alone go home this early. Neither did Tamera, even though her performance was meh. The UK was SHOCKED. Of particular note: there was no flash vote this weekend, due to Nile Rogers/Chic performing a medley, which was totally unnecessary.
Sunday the little muffins Little Mix performed and you should watch it, as it is totally freaking adorable.
Good news, though! Kingsland Road are not breaking up:
Disco week was an opportunity to create a super weird montage in the beginning that included the following:
I love these producers.
This also led to some interesting performance choices.
Sam Bailey had gogo dancers/back up singers.
Nicky had a circle of girls in short shorts, knee high socks and sparkly tops surround him.
Abi’s piano was so pretty! Sadly, it did not make her performance more interesting.
Sam Callahan’s performance was boxing themed, which made no sense.
Even Gary hated it.
Sam Bailey is everyone’s mother
So Sharon treated her to a spa day, which is probably something Mrs. O does anyway.
I think the spa day paid off. YOWZA!
Actually, Sam has been working out a lot and taking better care of herself. I think she seems like a really great person. Her performance of “No More Tears (Enough is Enough)” was totally fine but she will never be one of my favorites because of all the Celine.
He danced his way on stage, of course.
I love when he made a snide remark about Louis being in his 40s during the disco era.
Then he danced again, this time with Rough Copy!
Speaking of Rough Copy… These looked fine at first.
Then I saw them up close.
I think this is the top part of overalls. Or an apron.
WHY ARE THE CROTCHES SO LOW? Is this really a fashion thing, and if so, can it go the fuck away right now? Also, is the guy on the right wearing an apron as well?
No one can dance
You know who can’t dance? Matt from Kingsland Road.
Do you know how I know? Because it was brought up 100 times.
Everyone examined his moves from the week before.
It’s not like the dancing was really complicated.
There was a little fancy footwork.
And fucking air guitar.
Luke really commits
He is such a hard worker, it is really difficult to dislike him.
I feel like filming this made the producers really nervous. “Now, don’t scratch the floor up!!”
He never complained about having to dance.
He was so into “Play that Funky Music.”
SUPER INTO IT.
Nicole is a dream
Like Luke, she really committed to the disco theme. Her hair is shamazing.
In case you need it in gif form. I know I did. She was accused of being drunk on Saturday, which she denies. Nicole just gets realllllll into stuff.
She went roller skating with the contestants [Tamera said it was just her but all the other kids were there but it did not make it into their intros].
SERIOUSLY. That hair.
This is just her, being a normal girl. And uber pretty.
Gary talked to Rough Copy about stepping it up, but all I could think about was this bowl of fruit:
What was it doing there? Was it real? Could Kaz eat it if he wanted to? Then suddenly Gary through some strawberries on the ground & the band followed.
That shit is BANANAS!
Nile Rogers was there too! Chic performed.
Nicole brought James Arthur in to inspire Hannah.
She was so excited.
I was ready to call this for Luke, since he so committed to disco. And then Hannah did this.
What the bloody fuck? Her voice is RIDICULOUS.
All screencaps by me.