Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK live episode 4

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Kingsland Rd dancing 2

Kingsland Rd dancing

There are so many reasons I wish I lived in the UK. Alan Partridge, Cheryl Cole, the British monarchy, charity shops, the BBC… But mostly I wish I could vote in X Factor. For example, this week I would have tried so hard to keep the cuties of Kingsland Road, who did not deserve to be on the bottom, let alone go home this early. Neither did Tamera, even though her performance was meh. The UK was SHOCKED. Of particular note: there was no flash vote this weekend, due to Nile Rogers/Chic performing a medley, which was totally unnecessary.

Sunday the little muffins Little Mix performed and you should watch it, as it is totally freaking adorable.

Good news, though! Kingsland Road are not breaking up:

Kingsland Rd gif 3

Disco Inferno

X Factor 04 Disco 04

Disco week was an opportunity to create a super weird montage in the beginning that included the following:

X Factor 04 Disco 01

X Factor 04 Disco 02

I can't believe this was on TV.

I can’t believe this was on TV.

I love these producers.

This also led to some interesting performance choices.

X Factor 04 Sam Bailey 01

Sam Bailey had gogo dancers/back up singers.

X Factor 04 Nicholas McDonald 01

Nicky had a circle of girls in short shorts, knee high socks and sparkly tops surround him.

X Factor 04 Abi Alton 01

Abi’s piano was so pretty! Sadly, it did not make her performance more interesting.

X Factor 04 Sam Callahan 01

Sam Callahan’s performance was boxing themed, which made no sense.

X Factor 04 Gary Barlow 01

Even Gary hated it.

Sam Bailey is everyone’s mother

With Sam Callahan.

With Sam Callahan.

Helping Luke with disco week.

Helping Luke with disco week.

So Sharon treated her to a spa day, which is probably something Mrs. O does anyway.

X Factor 04 Sam Bailey 03

I think the spa day paid off. YOWZA!

Whatever her new beauty regimen is, it's totally working.

Whatever her new beauty regimen is, it’s totally working.

Actually, Sam has been working out a lot and taking better care of herself. I think she seems like a really great person. Her performance of “No More Tears (Enough is Enough)” was totally fine but she will never be one of my favorites because of all the Celine.

Oh Dermot

He danced his way on stage, of course.

X Factor 04 Dermot 07

X Factor 04 Dermot 06

X Factor 04 Dermot 05

X Factor 04 Dermot 04

I love when he made a snide remark about Louis being in his 40s during the disco era.

X Factor 04 Dermot 03

Then he danced again, this time with Rough Copy!

So adorbs.

So adorbs.

Worst pants

Speaking of Rough Copy… These looked fine at first.

A little Charlie's Angels-esque.

A little Charlie’s Angels-esque.

Then I saw them up close.

X Factor 04 Rough Copy 03

I think this is the top part of overalls. Or an apron.

X Factor 04 Rough Copy 04

WHY ARE THE CROTCHES SO LOW? Is this really a fashion thing, and if so, can it go the fuck away right now? Also, is the guy on the right wearing an apron as well?

No one can dance

You know who can’t dance? Matt from Kingsland Road.

X Factor 04 Kingsland Road 06

Do you know how I know? Because it was brought up 100 times.

X Factor 04 Kingsland Road 04

Everyone examined his moves from the week before.

X Factor 04 Kingsland Road 03

It’s not like the dancing was really complicated.

X Factor 04 Kingsland Road 02

There was a little fancy footwork.

X Factor 04 Kingsland Road 01

And fucking air guitar.

Luke really commits

He is such a hard worker, it is really difficult to dislike him.

Practicing.

Practicing.

X Factor 04 Luke Friend 05

I feel like filming this made the producers really nervous. “Now, don’t scratch the floor up!!”

X Factor 04 Luke Friend 04

He never complained about having to dance.

X Factor 04 Luke Friend 03

He was so into “Play that Funky Music.”

X Factor 04 Luke Friend 01

SUPER INTO IT.

Nicole is a dream

X Factor 04 Nicole 03

Like Luke, she really committed to the disco theme. Her hair is shamazing.

 

Nicole Hair 02

Nicole Hair 01

In case you need it in gif form. I know I did. She was accused of being drunk on Saturday, which she denies. Nicole just gets realllllll into stuff.

X Factor 04 Tamera 01

She went roller skating with the contestants [Tamera said it was just her but all the other kids were there but it did not make it into their intros].

X Factor 04 Nicole 05

SERIOUSLY. That hair.

X Factor 04 Nicole 04

This is just her, being a normal girl. And uber pretty.

Etc.

X Factor 04 Rough Copy 01

Gary talked to Rough Copy about stepping it up, but all I could think about was this bowl of fruit:

X Factor 04 Rough Copy 02

What was it doing there? Was it real? Could Kaz eat it if he wanted to? Then suddenly Gary through some strawberries on the ground & the band followed.

X Factor 04 Rough Copy 06

That shit is BANANAS!

X Factor 04 Chic 01

Nile Rogers was there too! Chic performed.

X Factor 04 Hannah Barrett 01

Nicole brought James Arthur in to inspire Hannah.

X Factor 04 Nicole 02

She was so excited.

Favorite performance

I was ready to call this for Luke, since he so committed to disco. And then Hannah did this.

What the bloody fuck? Her voice is RIDICULOUS.

Gifs from Nicole Scherzinger, starscanbesoblinding, and thekingslandrd

All screencaps by me.

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