Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK, live episode 6

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I do not know the context but I love this gif so much.

Of course, for the week that Sam Callahan goes home and this post will actually receive some hits, none of the torrents available of X Factor UK were any good. This recap will be light on hilarious screencaps of the intros and heavy on sorts of ok screencaps of youtube clips…because that’s all that I have right now. WOMP WOMP.

The theme was “Great British Songbook.” I think there will be less New Order and more Beatles. Just a guess.

Here are the performances rated from best to worst, because it is more fun to make you wait for the crap.

Gary Barlow, “Let Me Go”

Look, I know he isn’t a contestant but this was joyous.

Reasons why Gary was the best this week:

HUGE BAND

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 06

TWO DUDES SITTING ON BOXES AND HITTING THEM

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 07

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 04

I don’t even know why one of these dudes is necessary, let alone two.

DOBRO

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 11 RUSTIC PIANO

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 02

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 05

GARY IS HOT

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 08

HE LIKES DANCING

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 09

NICOLE-APPROVED

X Factor 06 Gary Barlow 10She knew all the words.

Rough Copy, “Viva La Vida”

When an act on these shows manages to make me not hate a Coldplay song they get special recognition.

X Factor 06 Rough Copy 01

They got to have drummers!

X Factor 06 Rough Copy 02

I know what you’re thinking, “But what were their pants like”?

X Factor 06 Rough Copy 03

X Factor 06 Rough Copy 04

X Factor 06 Rough Copy 05

The answer: STILL BAD!

Hannah Barrett, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”

THANK GOD Hannah did something different to this song.

X Factor 06 Hannah Barrett 02

It helped that she was wearing this tunic with brass instruments on it. WANT, naturally.

And that she had the most excited dancers/tambourine players.

X Factor 06 Hannah Barrett 04

X Factor 06 Hannah Barrett 03

Nicholas McDonald, “Someone Like You”

Stop. Doing. Adele. Thankfully Nicky is earnest enough to pull off this very earnest song. He has great control of his voice and he seems like a nice young man.

X Factor 06 Nicholas McDonald 01

You can tell he is super earnest just from this picture.

X Factor 06 Nicholas McDonald 02

He had a string quartet!

X Factor 06 Nicholas McDonald 03

This song makes me really sad, too, violinist, but probably for a different reason than you.

Sam Bailey, “Something”

She was pleasant and moving, but she changed the gender to male and I became annoyed. KEEP IT THE WAY IT IS.

X Factor 06 Sam Bailey 01

X Factor 06 Sam Bailey 02

Nicole looked like she wanted to cry. I’m not sure I like that side pony.

X Factor 06 Sam Bailey 03Sam looked SO PRETTY.

Luke Friend, “Your Song”

Theory: Luke was in the bottom two because his performance featured video of he and this cute lady goofing around and teenage girls were jealous.

X Factor 06 Luke Friend 02

X Factor 06 Luke Friend 04

Otherwise, it was a perfectly serviceable version that fit his voice.

X Factor 06 Luke Friend 01

Tamera Foster, “Diamonds Are Forever”

I love Shirley Bassey but this song takes a while to get going and before that it is very monotone and blah. Mostly she sounded like Rihanna painfully reaching out of her range.

X Factor 06 Tamera Foster 01
They made the “diamonds” thing totally obvious.

X Factor 06 Tamera Foster 02
I love when people sing in boxes! NOT.

X Factor 06 Tamera Foster 03
And she had weird dancers.

Sam Callahan, “Faith”

A+ for song choice… but is that a backing track I hear?

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 01

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 02

Is he playing in front of a stack of amps? OF COURSE NOT, those are just lights in some boxes covered in plastic wrap.

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 03He even has an adorable lady drummer.

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 04

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 05

Nicole did not appear to have “faith” in Sam. You’re welcome for the bad joke.

Here are some shirtless pictures of Sam for your viewing pleasure, taken from a you tube video:

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 06

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 07

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 08And here he is twerking:

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 09

X Factor 06 Sam Callahan 10

RIP X Factor career of Sam Callahan. We will miss your mediocre voice and torso of the week.

Next week: Apparently 1D is performing so you KNOW I will be covering that.

Gif from freakyscherzinger. Screencaps by me.

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