Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK live show 3

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Kingsland Rd gif 1

Kingsland Rd gif 2

I feel like there is a pattern with these shows: first the “overs” leave, then the black contestants, leaving some twinky white dude to win it all (of course there are exceptions, like Little Mix, but that terrible redheaded Irish girl was in the lead for most of the season). So this week, we said goodbye to the cutie girl group Miss Dynamix, who lost the flash vote then were up against Hannah in the Sunday vote. I thought Hannah was one of the better performers on Saturday, plus her song was not totally cheesy (you’re on warning, Rough Copy, after “Everything I Do”) so I was a little surprised.

I might try to do a quick post tomorrow with the funniest screencaps from The Wanted performance. I WILL NOT be covering Lady Gaga, since her fans are crazier than [insert boyband here].

Judges weirdness

Nicole's high low dress was kind of fug and Mrs. I looks super pissed, no? I'll bet someone told her to look pissy.

Nicole’s high low dress was kind of fug and Mrs. O looks super pissed, no? I’ll bet someone told her to look pissy.

Gary had a light saber because he is secretly a Jedi.

Gary had a light saber because he is secretly a Jedi.

I don't know what this was about but I love it.

I don’t know what this was about but I love it.

Here it is in gif format:

Nicole and Gary 1

Nicole and Gary 2

Nicole and Gary 3

And how cute are Louis and Nicole?

Louis and Nicole 1

Louis and Nicole 2

I still love Nicholas

He is learning how to do laundry!

He is learning how to do laundry!

Except Sam/mom has to help him with it.

Except Sam/mom has to help him with it.

He's also ironing which is so impressive because I don't even iron.

He’s also ironing which is so impressive because I don’t even iron.

Nicole thought his version of "Angel" was lovely.

Nicole thought his version of “Angel” was lovely.

How can you not love Nicky's family?

How can you not love Nicky’s family?

This is his godfather! I am obsessed with him.

This is his godfather! I am obsessed with him.

But check out Tamera's photo-bombing family!

But check out Tamera’s photo-bombing family!

Sam sure is…talented

X Factor 03 Sam Callahan 01

X Factor 03 Sam Callahan 02

Rip itttttttt!!!!

Rip itttttttt!!!!

Sam was recently "Torse of the Week" in The Heat.

Sam was recently “Torso of the Week” in Heat.

Nicky thought HE should have been torso of the week (ewww he's 16).

Nicky thought HE should have been torso of the week (ewww he’s 16).

Caroline asked Sam what he wants to be known for and he did not answer with "my torso."

Caroline asked Sam what he wants to be known for and he did not answer with “my torso.”

And now for the Thor 2 tie in

I would be equally happy to meet Idris Elba, dude.

I would be equally happy to meet Idris Elba, dude.

"OMG I JUST MET IDRIS ELBA HIGGHHHHH FIIIIVVVEEEE!"

“OMG I JUST MET IDRIS ELBA HIGGHHHHH FIIIIVVVEEEE!”

Sam met... these guys? I confess, I don't know them. Brooke? Katie?

Sam met… these guys? I confess, I don’t know them. Brooke? Katie? ETA: Thanks to Brooke I know this is McFly!

"HOLY SHIT CHRIS HEMSWORTH!!!"

“HOLY SHIT CHRIS HEMSWORTH!!!”

I want Nicole as my mentor

She and Abi watched Breakfast at Tiffany's at her place.

She and Abi watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s at her place.

She wore these kooky YSL earrings.

She wore these kooky YSL earrings.

She had to ask Dermot for help getting up after posing with Gary. It was adorable.

She had to ask Dermot for help getting up after posing with Gary. It was adorable.

She went to the bakery where Hannah worked.

She went to the bakery where Hannah worked.

They ate sausage rolls.

They ate sausage rolls.

Nicole put on a hairnet and stuffed a bag full of savory pastries.

Nicole put on a hairnet and stuffed a bag full of savory pastries.

She cheers on her girls.

She cheers on her girls.

The Friendies

This is what Luke calls his fans. I like “friendlies” better but THESE KIDS NEVER LISTEN TO ME.

He hugs them all over the mall.

He hugs them all over the mall.

What a good hugger he is.

What a good hugger he is.

This old lady was precious.

This old lady was precious.

She smelled his hair. Luke says strangers often do that to him lately. Hmm I wonder why.

She smelled his hair. Luke says strangers often do that to him lately. Hmm I wonder why.

Worst pants

This girl from Miss Dynamix.

This girl from Miss Dynamix.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

YIKES!

YIKES!

Etc

Sam on a cruise ship, where she vowed never to sing "My Heart Will Go On" until Sharon made her do it Saturday. She should have held to her vow.

Sam on a cruise ship, where she vowed never to sing “My Heart Will Go On” until Sharon made her do it Saturday. She should have held to her vow.

You probably should have let Nicky take care of these wrinkles before performing.

You probably should have let Nicky take care of these wrinkles before performing.

Tamera used to watch Dreamgirls over and over when she was 12 and sing "Listen."

Tamera used to watch Dreamgirls over and over when she was 12 and sing “Listen.”

This dress was a little too Beyonce-y. And she could not move in it, she was like a robot on stage.

This dress was a little too Beyonce-y. And she could not move in it, she was like a robot on stage.

Abi looked miserable all night, even when her parents were telling Caroline who great their daughter is.

Abi looked miserable all night, even when her parents were telling Caroline how great their daughter is.

Look, it's my little muffins, Little Mix! They all like Kingsland Road and Sam.

Look, it’s my little muffins, Little Mix! They all like Kingsland Road and Sam (I’m assuming Callahan because the probably know him?).

Favorite Performance

I hate this theme because it usually produces the most uninspired song choices but I like how Luke’s voice sounded on “Kiss From a Rose.”

Kingsland Rd gifs from thekingslandrd. All other gifs from freakyscherzinger. All screencaps from me.

2 Comments

  1. Oh dear. Looks like Sam met 3/4 of McFly. That’s Dougie, Tom, and Danny. Perhaps they would have been more recognizable had Harry been there without a shirt on?

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