Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK live show nine


I hate to start these things off with a concession, but I have a week and a half until this semester’s done and my life is MADNESS. Therefore, this review will be a little truncated.

Once again I wish I lived in Britain. This week the audience automatically sent the lowest vote-getter home on X Factor UK, and OF COURSE that wasn’t Christopher because grannies like him too much. Poor Union J. They’re cute, talented and seem like genuinely nice dudes. I will miss Jaymi most of all.

And I will also miss George’s cheekbones. But only if he’s over 18.

They also got Louis out of his turtleneck and for that I am ever grateful.

It’s called a onesie and Louis promised to wear it if Union J made the semi-final. I wonder what he would have done had they made the final.

Best Performance

Ohhhh did you want to see best performance by a contestant? I guess it’s James doing “The Power of Love” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, which is wasn’t a hit in the US but Wiki says it was #1 for 18 weeks in the UK. Hmmm.

He also did U2’s “One” and made it sound like a completely new and modern song, which has never happened in my 10+ years of watching these crummy shows. Yay, James! Please win it for your friends in America.

The Week in Nicole

Nicole was so charming this week. Like the time she wore her hair in really fugly braids.

Or when she showed Jahmene audition footage of when she was on Popstars (nice hat, asshole).

I’m so proud of Jahmene for not laughing at this.

Worst performance

CHRISTOPHER MALONEY, STOP IT. No one likes Michael Bublé except the 80 year olds who keep voting this cheeseball in.

I just created this category so I could post this video, which is how I know that Michael Bublé song.

“You are on the thinnest of ice!”

Next week: THE FINALS? Which man is going to win this silly competition?

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