Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK preview


Nicole Scherzinger no baby no

Unlike American TV, UK TV does not announce premiere dates in advance. I have googled for weeks to find out when X Factor UK would start, and just last week pictures of Gary and Nicole began showing up on my twitter and facebook feed. Hooray! The first episode airs Saturday night!

What’s new:

New old judge Sharon Osbourne

Sharon O

We know her here as rock star manager, talk show host and judge on America’s Got Talent, but from 2003-7 she was a founding judge on X Factor UK. Mrs. O confirmed she’s not back for good (I’m sure flying between the UK and LA for The Talk is really annoying), but we will enjoy her presence for as long as she’s there. I’m looking forward to her facing “nemesis” Lady Gaga and not fighting with Nicole Scherzinger.

No Tulisa


The female boss isn’t doing very well. There was that drug bust and the suicide watch the other day. Please, Tulisa, I need you. What about your little muffins, Little Mix? Let’s remember some of the good times with my Tulisa post. And her video for “Young.”

I am actually really worried about Tulisa and I hope she’s ok.

Structural changes

James 1

Auditions this year were in five cities instead of the usual six, but the mobile auditions around the country happened again this year (this was how last year’s winner James Arthur was discovered).

A new twist in bootcamp: contestants will be divided by categories and sing for the judges. The mentor can choose to put the person in one of six open chairs or send them home. This should get more dramatic towards the end after the seats are full, someone blows the judges away, and the mentor is forced to pick which contestant to send home that was previously chosen for judges’ houses!

Instead of the first judges’ auditions being in a large arena with a backing track, contestants faced judges in a small room with no backing track ala American Idol. This was done in the past but not four four seasons. I hope we don’t lose the discovery of seeing performances like this for the first time:

I just wanted to post this again.

Other news

Simon Cowell eyeroll gif

Simon will be appearing on every live show via satellite feed, which no one asked for or wanted but producers think it will boost ratings as Cowell is probably some kind of national treasure in England.

This is also Louis’ last season! That is definitely something everyone has been calling for, he is the Randy Jackson of X Factor. Hopefully he doesn’t come back next year as some bullshit mentor.

SPOILER ALERT if you don’t like to know who has what category. Overs (Sharon O.), Boys (Louis), Girls (Nicole) and Groups (Gary). Sharon is reportedly pissed about getting the “kiss of death” category, but in the US, an over won last year (Tate!) and in season 1 an over came in second place (Josh, mentored by Nicole Scherzinger). It seems like they need to find better overs.

What’s the same:

All the other judges


I wrote about Gary and Shamazing Nicole but never got to poor Louis. Here is Louis as his alter ego, Uncle Louis:


More of this, probably

Union J gif

Hallow Nicole Rylan. 2JPG

And what’s X Factor without performances of my least favorite songs?

I’m sure all of these will be covered again this season and be certain I will complain about it.

My regular coverage of X Factor UK will start next Tuesday but may end up switching to Mondays  due to Beauty & the Beast recaps. Join me then so we can drool over Gary, meet some future superstars and make fun of Nicole’s newest catchphrase–though can she really top Jahmazing?

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