Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK recap, FINALE!!

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X Factor UK finale 01

In the end, this year’s X Factor UK came down between two of Simon’s overs and the cute boy won. I think no one is surprised, especially not the producers who have seen the results every week. Fleur consistently smashed it (I am so British now!), and actually has potential to be a contemporary artist, and Ben will likely end up in the James Arthur  graveyard. Here’s a short list of the people who didn’t win X Factor and where they are now: Ella Henderson (“Ghost” is a massive hit), One Direction (duh), JLS, Olly Murs (both JLS and Olly have sold over 10 million records worldwide), Jedward (represented Ireland twice at Eurovision). There are also countless people that have released good music, including Aiden Grimshaw, Cher Lloyd, and Mischa B. Fleur will be fine.

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Besides the “big mega X Factor smash up,” most of the performers had connections to the show: three acts discovered on this very show, two people who often perform on this show, one former X Factor UK judge and one former X Factor US judge (to Simon: “I don’t miss you”).

Favorite guest performances, ranked

1. Olly Murs and Demi Lovato

I am actually going to listen to this song. Demi was appropriately wearing Westwood.

2. One Direction and Ronnie Wood

They all looked like they were having fun for the first time in years.

3. Ed Sheeran

Britain’s favorite red headed muppet/songwriter!

4. Ella Henderson

Her jumpsuit, however, was less memorable.

5. Sam Smith

His voice is so pretty.

6. Take That

Bonus: Gary’s gritted teeth and constant smirks.

7. Labrinth

I appreciated that he asked Fleur to do “Beneath Your Beautiful” with him.

GAP OF TALENT

8. Meghan Trainor

Clearly more of a video star than an actual performer.

HUGE GAP OF TALENT

9. X Factor’s Greatest Hits

I don’t even know anymore.

No, really, this thing was the worst

X Factor UK finale 12

Stevi flew on stage in a spaceship.

Wagner was there, OF COURSE.

Wagner was there, OF COURSE.

This dude was in a hot tub.

This dude was in a hot tub.

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During her season, I really didn’t think Katie was so bad.

I'll bet Chloe thinks this is bullshit but she is contractually obligated to do it AND she loves attention. This was the longest dance remix I have ever heard.

I’ll bet Chloe thinks this is bullshit but she is contractually obligated to do it AND she loves attention.
This was the longest and most painful dance remix I have ever heard.

Strange beginnings

Tulisa filled in for Mel B. Louis was happy to have another lady on his arm. However, Cheryl was thirty steps behind them. It was so weird.

Tulisa filled in for Mel B. Louis was happy to have another lady on his arm. However, Cheryl was thirty steps behind them. It was so weird.

But maybe she was so far behind because of her dress.

But maybe she was so far behind because of her damn dress.

And they were both shocked to be in the final.

And they were both shocked to be in the final.

Party bus tours, ranked by fun

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1. Andrea’s, because of the desserts

Is that you, Jack???

Is that you, Jack???

2. Fleur, there was lots of dancing and I think maybe Jack Walton

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3. Ben had beer? But no desserts or dancing. Booo.

Weird things I noticed during One Direction & Ronnie Wood

Harry's kind of phoning it in, while wearing an ugly shirt covered in flamingos.

Harry’s kind of phoning it in, while wearing an ugly Marc Jacobs shirt covered in flamingos.

Zayn has the prettiest eyes.

Zayn has the prettiest eyes.

Nial is so fucking exciting to be playing with Ronnie Wood.

Niall is so fucking exciting to be playing with Ronnie Wood.

Seriously, SO EXCITED, he's showing us his "o"-face.

Seriously, SO EXCITED, he’s showing us his “o”-face.

But then Harry came alive!

But then Harry came alive!

It's the closest he will ever get to being Mick Jagger.

It’s the closest he will ever get to being Mick Jagger.

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On the floooooorrrrrr!!!

On the floooooorrrrrr!!!

ROCK FACE!

ROCK FACE!

Shakin' that ass.

Shakin’ that ass.

Why the pictures on the facebook page are from dress rehearsal

Hand first!

Hands first!

 

Live, Ben definitely just kicked it.

Live, Ben definitely just kicked it.

Maybe an exaggeration

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Ben called Ed Sheeran “the most incredible man in the world.”

Best fwends forevah

I want eye makeup like this now.

I want eye makeup like this now.

Both via.

Both via.

Cutest family

Fleur's grandad (R) came from Ghana! Also that man on the left is wearing an amazing fur.

Fleur’s grandad (R) came from Ghana! Also that man on the left is wearing an amazing fur.

Worst fan name

The picture they used on the bus is so corny.

The picture they used on the bus is so corny.

“The Haeniacs.”

Highlights from home bus tours

The hall where Fleur performed, especially since it appeared to be mostly full of school children in uniforms. ;)

The hall where Fleur performed, especially since it appeared to be mostly full of school children in uniforms. 😉

Ben fell down in this CD store, probably because he realized he was in a CD store (LPs forever, baby!)

Ben fell down in this CD store, probably because he realized he was in a CD store (LPs forever, baby!)

Andrea's precious family.

Andrea’s precious family.

Fleur and her dance crew!!

Fleur and her dance crew!!

Ben picking up his adorable mom from the Salsbury's where she worked.

Ben picking up his adorable mom from the Sainsbury’s where she worked.

360 degrees of Ben's fans.

360 degrees of Ben’s fans.

Andrea performing with this orchestra.

Andrea performing with an orchestra.

What does Ronnie Wood look like?

It’s my new favorite game!!!

Ronnie Wood One Direction

I’m thinking the old woman in this:

Young_Lady_Old_Woman_Illusion

Favorite performance


Of the non-duets, Fleur’s “Can’t Hold Us” was by far my favorite. Ben did an Imagine Dragons song (yuck) and I don’t even remember what Andrea sang and I just watched this yesterday.

I didn’t cover last week’s episode, partially because I was sad about James Graham’s Stereo Kicks’ elimination and partially because I forgot.

For those of you who are just fans of reality singing competition shows: our coverage of American Idol will begin in the new year. VIVA LA LOPEZ!!!

All screencaps by me or via the X Factor facebook page.

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